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Hastily Completing Your Summer Bucket List This Labor Day Weekend

Sorry, kids, but Labor Day is this weekend and that means that summer will officially be over. Were you one of the lucky few who was able to cross everything off of your summer bucket list? If you were, then you’re not this guy. The beginning of summer is the time of year when we all feel like you’ve woken up from a long nap, you set some goals for yourself to complete before the leaves start turning and things get all Donner party again. But the end of the season inevitably caught you off guard. How are you going to get to all those things you said you’d get to in the next three days? It’s going to take some serious time management skills and a little compromise.

Finishing all seven books on your Summer reading list

If you’re still in school, then you were probably supposed to read Grapes of Wrath or some crap. If that’s what you were supposed to read, then let me summarize it for you: This guy leaves his home to find work and a better home, but things go horribly awry.

If you’re done with school, and you put together a summer reading list just to be cool, then go ahead and google all the books you wanted to read. Between Amazon summaries and Wikipedia entries, you’ll at least know enough to talk about it at a party, and impress whatever awkward book club girl you’ve been chasing.

Going camping

You can still do that, but chances are there’s no way you’re going to have time to get more than one sad friend to go with you on such short notice. If you want to go camping badly enough, take that sad friend with you, bring lots of beer and hope you run into some more interesting people who did a better job of properly planning their last hurrah.

Going to an amusement park

Still plenty of time to do this one, though you’ll be joining thousands of other last minute Larry’s. You’ll have to stand in line a lot longer than normal and those pictures of you on a roller coaster will look desperate and sad.

Riding your bike everywhere

You promised yourself that this year, you’d stop relying on your gas-guzzling car and you’d start riding your bike more. But then you remembered that bicycles don’t have air conditioning and women refuse to leave the bar with you when you say “It’s cool, you can stand on my pegs.” Don’t get too discouraged, you can still ride everywhere this weekend. The roads should be pretty clear, since everyone else who’s not a procrastinating asshole will be out of town having real fun.

Going on a road trip

Where you headed? To another destination less than five hours away, full of other adventure seekers such as yourself? It’d be easy to say you missed your chance on this one, but you can still pull it off. If you really want to make an adventure out of it, fill your tank up, leave your wallet and ID at home and keep driving until you run out of gas. Then try and make your way back before work on Tuesday!

 

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