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Let’s Put An End To Patriotic Misquotes!

Osama Bin Laden died and most people didn’t know how they should publicly react until they checked their Facebook feed. Only problem with that is, most of us have a Facebook friend pool that is half full of stupid people we went to high school with. Those people get their informations and opinions from the loudest, most convenient sources. Which is why this quote, incorrectly attributed to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., went viral:

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Unforunately, this wasn’t the only misappropriated Bin-Laden-is-dead-and-here’s-how-I-feel-about-it quote floating around the web. Here’s a few more we found:

“It is a tragic mix-up when the United States spends $500,000 for every enemy soldier killed, and only $53 annually on the victims of poverty.”

- Whoopi Goldberg

Wrong black guy, this one wasn’t Whoopi Goldberg, but rather Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our country.”

- DJ Pauly D.

Nope, not even close. Yes, it’s easy to imagine Pauly D. saying something this patriotic, seeing as though his hair resembles the crown on top of the Statue of Liberty, but this was actually said by George W. Bush.

“We have met the enemy and he is us.”

- Carrot Top

Wrong again, internet. Though Carrot Top should consider himself an enemy, it was actually American cartoonist Walt Kelly who said this.

“To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy‘s resistance without fighting.”

- Hulk Hogan

Though this quote seems as American as Hulkamania itself, this quote is from the philosopher Sun Tzu. Google that shit.

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.”

- Dustin Diamond aka “Screech”

Yes, there was quite a few Saved By The Bell story lines that dealt with bravery, and standing up for yourself, but to give credit to Screech for a Ralph Waldo Emerson line is just disgraceful.

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”

- Bill O’Reilly

What?! No, this wasn’t Bill O’Reilly, it was Abraham Lincoln. Whose TV show would’ve done way better than the O’Reilly Factor.

“If there must be trouble let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.”

- Jenelle Evans from Teen Mom

Jenelle from Teen Mom didn’t actually care about her child having peace, she was too busy filming chicks fighting. But Thomas Paine, the American revolutionary did.

So there you go. I hope we cleared the air. If any of your Facebook friends have been spreading these around, remove them swiftly!

3 Responses to "Let’s Put An End To Patriotic Misquotes!"

  1. bhornbuckle75 says:

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned Psychic TV’s “Roman P” as used in a Volks Wagon comercial! Basically in the comercial they just loop one part of the song over and over…the chorus “Are you Free, are you really free…..are you really, really really free”….Of course had they included the rest of the song they would have found lyrics like (And I’m paraphrasing so I might be a tiny bit off): ‘Little girls eating and drinking cocaine….Little girls caused you your greatest mistake’ The song was about Roman Polanski (ya know the guy who fled the country cause he was wanted on statutory rape charges)

    • bhornbuckle75 says:

      WHOOPS!!! Totally meant to post this on the article about inappropriate soundtracks….Not sure how I ended up posting it here. Sorry ’bout that. Also I noticed I misspelled ‘Commercial’.