Lindsay Lohan spoke over the phone this weekend to “Loveline”, which is apparently still on the radio. In the conversation she stated once and for all that she is, in fact, a lesbian:
Host: Now, you guys, you and Samantha have been going out for how long now? Like two years? One year? Five months? Two months?
Lindsay: A long time, a very long time.
Host: Zzzzzzzzzz…
Lindsay: Hel–Hello?
Host: (waking up suddenly): Huh? Where am I?
Lindsay: You were asking me about my lesbian relationship.
Host: Really? Oh, sorry. I must’ve nodded off while I zzzzzzzzz….
Lindsay: Well, it’s just that–zzzzzzzzzzzz–oh my god! My lesbian relationship is so boring that I actually bored myself to sleep! Fingerbang! We totally scissor each other hard! Is it interesting yet?
Host: Zzzzzz….
Lindsay: Carpet munch…Zzzzz…
The 4 people listening: What the hell?–zzzzzzzzz…..
Sure, Lindsay was a great child actor. She was cast as twins in The Parent Trap, but there’s only one of her, so that’s saying something. If we’ve learned anything over the past few years, though, it’s that being famous requires either talent, a crippling/entertaining drug habit, or really great tits. Lindsay has none of these things anymore (side-boob does not count), so maybe it’s time she started looking into other professions. I’ve got at least one idea:
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
I just read on MSNBC breaking news that Clay Aiken came out of the closet and Holy Taco was the first place I looked for something hilarious, but with no success. I am disappointed.
ZZZzzzzzzzzz
Sorry Daddy didn’t love you enough that it turned you gay. What a waste of some prime tail. Couldn’t she of at least have found an ATTRACTIVE partner to “scissor” with, that is one butt ugly ass bitch?
I’m waiting for them to run the story that Jenna Jameson is in-fact having twins. If some of you remember that priceless photoshop a little while back. It’s time to re-run it.
Lohan is a lesbian?! (gasp) This was totally unexpected, and by unexpected I mean, horribly horribly retarded.
Lindsay Lohan is Officially A Boring Lesbian
who gives a shit ???????????
She’s a bit young for her licker license isn’t she?