Lindsay Lohan spoke over the phone this weekend to “Loveline”, which is apparently still on the radio. In the conversation she stated once and for all that she is, in fact, a lesbian:
Host: Now, you guys, you and Samantha have been going out for how long now? Like two years? One year? Five months? Two months?
Lindsay: A long time, a very long time.
Host: (waking up suddenly): Huh? Where am I?
Lindsay: You were asking me about my lesbian relationship.
Host: Really? Oh, sorry. I must’ve nodded off while I zzzzzzzzz….
Lindsay: Well, it’s just that–zzzzzzzzzzzz–oh my god! My lesbian relationship is so boring that I actually bored myself to sleep! Fingerbang! We totally scissor each other hard! Is it interesting yet?
Lindsay: Carpet munch…Zzzzz…
The 4 people listening: What the hell?–zzzzzzzzz…..
Sure, Lindsay was a great child actor. She was cast as twins in The Parent Trap, but there’s only one of her, so that’s saying something. If we’ve learned anything over the past few years, though, it’s that being famous requires either talent, a crippling/entertaining drug habit, or really great tits. Lindsay has none of these things anymore (side-boob does not count), so maybe it’s time she started looking into other professions. I’ve got at least one idea: