According to an article in people.com today, Lindsay Lohan’s going to the morgue!
After fulfilling several requirements set by her DUI plea agreement – including rehab, community service and 84 minutes spent in jail – Lohan will next have to spend some time in a morgue, in an effort to illustrate the potentially fatal consequences of drinking and driving.
Here’s what’s going to happen: She’s going to tell her lawyer, “Pfft, They’re not gonna make me go to no morgue.” Then, at night, while she’s sleeping, she’ll be awoken by three ghosts. The first two will show her her past, i.e. scenes of her doing cocaine off dudes weiners and putting said weiners in her mouth. These images will slightly affect her, but not really. But then, the third ghost will take her to the morgue and show her an unnamed body bag, and when she pulls it back…
She’ll wake up screaming and it’ll be morning. She’ll run to her window, lean out, and yell to a nearby boy below:
LINDSAY: You there, what day is this?!
BOY: January 19th.
LINDSAY: Christmas Day?! Here’s a shilling, buy me the biggest goose you can find!
(tosses something down to the boy)
BOY: (looking at it) Ew, gross, this is a used condom, you’re f*&king sick!