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Mario Lopez Vows To Wear Shirts

The other day I decided to clean out my fridge and as I was throwing away stuff I came across one of those DVD’s that you put into your DVD player to clean it. I have absolutely no f-ing idea how that got into my fridge, or why it was there, because it had zero business being in my fridge. That’s basically how I feel when I watch shows about the entertainment industry and suddenly there’s a story on Mario Lopez. People.com reports:

“My shirtless photo-shoot days are behind me,” Mario Lopez tells PEOPLE in a bitter blow to beefcake.

My dad made a similar announcement to my family at Thanksgiving, but I replace “Shirtless photo-shoot”, with “listening to you people go on with your pointless bullshit lives.”  It was a bitter blow to the cheesecake we we’re going to eat afterwards.

How slow of a news day is it that this can wind up on the front page of a website?  I feel like the reporters were sitting in their office going “Okay, we can run the Mario Lopez no shirt story or we can run the story about how Bob from accounting lost his Nomar Garciaparra Bobble head doll and then found it a couple days later in the trunk of his car.”  The only way this Lopez story would be news, is if he wasn’t actually ripped and instead was declaring that he’d been wearing a specially designed t-shirt.

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