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Maybe Soccer Isn’t For You


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I’m no soccer expert, but I’m pretty sure the “nut shot, nut shot, off-the-face” play isn’t going to score you many goals. Having been in a few of these sporting situations in the past, I would like to offer this young man a little advice: Stay down. Getting up will only make them kick you in the very sensitive parts over and over again. Learn to play an instrument (a real one like drums or a guitar, not a woodwind or brass) and focus on your studies. In short, just chalk these school years up to “experience.”

Later on when you have a decent paying job, a nice car and a girlfriend, you will…turn into some investment banker asshole who spends his entire life treating everyone like shit as a way of overcompensating for years of humiliation. Hmmm. Nevermind. My new advice, I guess, is: Never try anything ever. (And then blog about it.)

via gorillamask.net

7 Responses to "Maybe Soccer Isn’t For You"

  1. Lucian says:

    This kid just learned two lessons the hard way: The importance of wearing a cup and ball to the balls hurts more than ball to the face. Kind of a two-in-one I guess.

  2. Lucian says:

    This kid just learned two lessons the hard way: The importance of wearing a cup and ball to the nutsack hurts more than ball to the face. Kind of a two-in-one I guess.

  3. Lucian says:

    This kid just learned two lessons in the arts of football: The importance of wearing a cup and a ball to the nutsack hurts more than ball to the face. Kind of a two-in-one I guess.

  4. KeeblerKahn says:

    Number 20 really doesn’t like the guy,

  5. Lucian says:

    Crap. Submission system is bugged. Admins can you delete first two comments? Thanks.

  6. AlcoLOL says:

    Wow, after sending a ball into the kids crotch, the assailant continues by kicking it at him again and tripping over him. What a nice little asshole.

  7. Anonymous says:

    fuck your face


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