(I promise, none of this will make sense in a minute.)
Of all the monsters we are endlessly force fed through film and television (zombies, vampires, the gangy, etc.), none of them hold a candle to the demonic beasts we come across in everyday life. I’m talking about children, of course, the scariest and deadliest creatures of them all. With their beady, soulless eyes and unreadable faces, children have always been the things of nightmares, which is why I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to let one shack up inside you for 9 months and feast on your lifeforce before turning your lady parts into a broken pinata in one fell swoop (as Nathan Explosion would likely describe it).
If there’s one place on this Earth that understands the bonds between heavy metal music and the horror inherent in all children, it’s Japan. They have after all, been dominating the “evil child” subgenre of horror since 1998′s Ringu and the “batsh*t insanity” subgenre of metal since Dir En Grey. So perhaps it makes sense that what you’re about to see is not only a thing, but a thing that sells out stadiums and has been the No.1 top album on the US, UK and Canada iTunes Heavy Metal chart for weeks now.
“Babymetal is a Japanese metal vocal and dance group, consisting of Suzuka Nakamoto, Moa Kikuchi and Yui Mizuno. The three teenaged girls and their group are managed by the Amuse talent agency. The group was initially formed as a subunit of the female idol group Sakura Gakuin under the concept of a “fusion of metal and idol [music].”None of the three members knew what metal music was before the inception of the band.”
If you’re still incredibly confused by Babymetal despite having the facts laid out in front of you, you are not alone. Here’s their most popular song at the moment, “Gimme Chocolate!” (*shudders*), followed by a few of the video’s top Youtube comments.
Yes, guy with a chipmunk drinking a cup of coffee as his avatar, it *is* possible. And it’s called BABYMETAL.