Michael Bolton Single: Panties Wet

I think if I was Michael Bolton, every time I had sex with an incredibly hot chick, I’d take a picture of she and I doing it and send it to every shitbag blogger that made fun of me.  I’d also probably sign it “Breast Wishes, Michael Bolton.”  Hmmm…but then I’d probably go to jail for sending unauthorized pictures of women being f-ed by me.  So I guess I’d have to get them to sign something first or…this is getting way too complicated.  Anyway, Michael Bolton and Nicollette Sheridan broke off their engagement.  Usmagazine.com reports:

Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton have called off their engagement, her rep tells Usmagazine.com.

The two have been engaged since March 2006.

I wonder if Nicollette just woke up in the middle of the night and rolled over and all of a sudden screamed “Holy shit I’m f*&king Michael Bolton!” and then ran to the closet and packed up her clothes and left.  I hope this breakup prompts another album by Bolton.  A much more honest album: