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Miley Cyrus Writes Autobiography

If you’re you’re reading this right now while you’re at work at your job that you think is really shitty, I recommend closing your browser before you read what I’m about to show you.  People.com reports:

Miley Cyrus has signed a seven-figure book deal with Disney Book Group, the teen star’s publisher announced Tuesday.

The book will focus on the 15-year-old’s road to fame, from growing up in Tennessee to navigating the spotlight as an international star.

So, not only is a 15 year-old going to write a book about her life, someone is going to pay her millions of dollars to do so.  I blame Jose Canseco for lowering the bar here.  There’s no way someone who’s lived 15 years has enough to write a biography.  Unless she starts at like year one.  Which would bring about passages such as this one:

“I remembering it being dark, then suddenly there was a light and I felt really cold on the top of my head.  Then I realized I was coming out of my mom’s vagina.  I was really excited to start my life out of the uterus but also sad that I was going to miss all the small bacteria and protein strands that I had become such good friends with.”

Anyway, I found an advanced copy of the book.   Here’s the cover:

11 Responses to "Miley Cyrus Writes Autobiography"

  1. stupidmiley says:

    dude dont worrie iles no one wiil masterbate with that cover
    seriously

  2. arlene says:

    wtf? how can someone remeber being born?
    the paragraph is 1 of teh stupidest things i read

  3. Anonymous says:

    lisp

  4. Chaosman says:

    OK. Where to start. The first pic…OMFG what a big dude. And she looks so funny standing next to that gargantuan thing. As to the book cover? Dude you are sooooo twisted but sooooo funny.

  5. justin says:

    Ha, thanks. I’m never quite sure how a joke like that will go over. Believe it or not I had a far more offensive book cover joke but decided I like my job and don’t want to be fired.

  6. Lucian says:

    Why use a cover when you can use a hand?

  7. olddirtybastard says:

    … too late

  8. Tom says:

    Isn’t that one of the people from first season of “The Biggest Loser”?

    Looks like he not only lost that but lost at even being a loser in life….

    Hmm…what is a sub-loser?

  9. CSI says:

    Isn’t he a sumo wrestler? I think he’s taken the whole sumo weight gain thing a bit too far.

    I saw a Jack Osbourne autobiography in the bargain bin of my local book shop recently. He’s 21 or 22? It seems to consist of him boasting of how he got off the drugs and got fit and trim. But then I saw a more recent photo of him and it looks like he’s podged up again. Its probably a good idea to wait a bit before writing your autobiography.

  10. MAMA says:

    MILY U NEED TO GROW UP IN MAKE HIM LOSE SOME WEIGHT IF HE WANT TO TAKE A PIC WITH YOU………….ELLLLLLLLLL

  11. Anonymous says:

    fuck you estupid miley cyrus