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Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead Recap (S3 E3)

After a preview letting us known that Daryl had a bigger hillbilly brother back in season one, who has one less hand thanks to Rick, the show starts with a helicopter crash.  How and why is anyone in a helicopter in the zombie apocalypse?  Shut up, that’s how.

Looks like we’re skipping Rick this week and just hanging out with Michonne and Andrea.  Seems like everyone wanted to check out the helicopter crash because I guess life is really boring, so what else is there to do?  Not like you’re apt to find that it was full of Twinkies or people who did not die in a crash.

Turns out Merle, with a knife stump, and a bunch of other people also want to investigate the crash because it’s what people do these days and oh no! They catch Andrea because obviously.

Andrea and Michonne end up in Pleasantville, USA, except it has walls like in Mad Max and everyone seems horribly ominous in every way, despite their overly pleasant exterior which is, of course, a sign of ominisity.  Is that a word?  It is in the zombie apocalypse.

We get to meet the Governor and we learn…nothing.  Not really.  Everything is suspicious for some reason, because of people’s expressions and how it’s lit and so you know as an audience bad things are coming, you just don’t know how or why.

Also, why does the doctor in here remind me of that weasel Nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark?  He seems like he’s touching himself just off camera all the time.  And while I’m here, how did they get eggs?  Who rounded up chickens, man?  This show takes place in real time, the zombie apocalypse is in its 3rd year now.  You found chickens after 3 years?  Come on.

Anyway, the pilot from the helicopter was alive and he tells the friendly governor where to find his fellow soldiers who are all clean shaven and have fuel after 3 years.  So the Governor goes to say howdy and OH SHIT HE SHOT EVERYONE TO DEATH!  Oh man, that Governor just ain’t a good fella.

Back home the Governor lets everyone know those poor soldiers were killed y zombies and everything is A-OK in town and he never tells anyone what his real name is, not ever.  It’s Brian.  That’s a spoiler for ya.  I guess.

We end the week with the knowledge that The Governor is batshit crazy to the nth degree because he just sits in a room with a drink staring at fishtanks full of severed heads.  Like dozens of them, and they’re backlit.  So he’s wasting energy to light up heads in fish tanks that he just stares at.  That’s worse than watching TLC almost.

If you read the graphic novel you’re enraged at this point and if you read the terrible tie in novel you were already enraged and this had no effect on you, but it is what it is.  On the upside, that doctor is gross and creepy and will probably do something weird and intolerable later, even though he seems like a weak knock off of the doctor from Day of the Dead.  Maybe this guy will have his own Bub, that’ll be something.

Next week worlds collide, it seems and the entire story that was the inspiration for this is thrown right out the window.  Also, wasn’t Lori pregnant last season around episode 3?  Is she an elephant?  How long is she carrying this kid?

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