More Unbelievable News Again!

November 5th, 2009 | 04:29 pm

1. Bears in German Zoo are Going Bald

A group of Spectacle Bears in a German Zoo are all going bald. German zoo vets are baffled because apparently they've never heard of mange before. While searching for a remedy to the bear baldness epidemic, zookeepers have renamed the bear exhibit "The Naked Willy Nelson Impersonators" exhibit, which has helped to ease confusion among zoo patrons.

2. New World Record Meatball From New Hampshire

A New Hampshire restaurant broke the world record for the biggest meatball ever created. Nonni's Italian Eatery in Concord created a 222.5 pound meatball to clinch the new world record. Unfortunately, the award ceremony was interrupted by everyone on the entire continent of Africa simultaneously yelling "Go f*ck yourself, Nonni's Italian Eatery!"

3. Jesus Appears Repeatedly In Tennesee Man's Truck Window

A Johnson City, Tennessee man has reported seeing the face of Jesus in his truck window for the past two weeks now, and he says that "folks at the grocery store he goes to are amazed by it." Also amazing to those folks: the magic talky box in the livin' room that tells all them funny stories after the sun goes to sleep.

4. Man Shows Up To His Own Funeral

In a bizarre case of mistaken identity, a Brazilian man was declared dead and showed up at his own funeral the following day. A badly disfigured car crash victim was identified as Ademir Jorge Goncalves, but Goncalves was passed out in a parking lot after getting wasted on Sugar Cane Liquor the night before. Goncalves heard about his own funeral the next day and decided to attend. The service, however, was cut short when two unidentified men, both of whom had "red" on them, smashed Goncalves head open with a Cricket bat.

5. Drinking & Driving Clown Crashes Into Police Car

A drunk man in a clown wig and comically large shoes crashed his car into a Canadian police cruiser. The man was promplty arrested, but police are still searching for the other 287 clowns who are still believed to be inside the vehicle.