Here it is: non-alcoholic vodka, the most useless product in the world. More useless than the shoe horn, the WNBA, or the Shamwow (trust me, I bought one).
There's only two demographics this product can be made for: Ex-alcoholics who aren't supposed to drink anymore but just love the flavor of rubbing alcohol, and children of current alcoholics who need a starter cocktail to prepare their palates for future vodka shots. And something tells me those two sectors of the population aren't large enough to make this a profitable product.
You know placebos are one of the most consistently effective medicines. I bet you can get a better high off non-alcoholic vodka than the real thing. Not only that, it is probably cheaper to produce and would be a much more advantageous vodka to have in your bloodstream when the police pull you over for swerving. It may be a superior product with a higher profit margin.
Marketing genius - where was I when they thought this up?
This is a great example as to what useless stuff we make.
But hey, it didnt stop that blind kid for wanting a camera, or the choir that goes to sing for the deaf. Or why paris hilton would want kids, but that's a whole different thing.
Why is this useless? People (often ex-alcoholics) drink non-alcoholic beer for the flavour, and at events that don't allow alcohol, so why wouldn't they drink this for the flavour? Please don't say vodka has no flavour. You'll have all of Russia up in arms.
As for the Shamwow, it works very well. If you are having trouble getting it to work, try it with liquids. It won't absorb powders or steak, it's meant for liquids.
To be honest, I don’t find non-alcoholic vodka a silly product. It really can help alcoholics replace they’re bad habits with harmless ones. It’s a silly product for those who don’t have alcohol problems, indeed. I think this product should be used only in Alcohol Rehab centers.
Imagine the use of non-alcoholic vodka: it would very useful in an alcohol rehab program. Alcohol addicts could recover easily with this kind of drink, something like a placebo.
(11 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
December 10th, 2008 at 09:57 am
great prank on someone showing them they are a complete ass even without the alcohol.
December 10th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Yup, it's as useless as a braille TV remote, a one armed juggler, tit's on a bull, or lips on a woodpecker.
Just what the world needed, non-alcoholic alcohol. Ok...where do I buy it?
December 10th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Or as useless as putting an apostrophe in the word "tits"!
December 10th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Or as useless as putting an apostrophe in the word "tits"!
December 10th, 2008 at 01:08 pm
So the ShamWow is a total farce? The commercial looks cool.
December 10th, 2008 at 04:57 pm
Somebody already came out with this. I think they called it water.
December 11th, 2008 at 03:46 pm
I only wish I had thought of this.
You know placebos are one of the most consistently effective medicines. I bet you can get a better high off non-alcoholic vodka than the real thing. Not only that, it is probably cheaper to produce and would be a much more advantageous vodka to have in your bloodstream when the police pull you over for swerving. It may be a superior product with a higher profit margin.
Marketing genius - where was I when they thought this up?
December 12th, 2008 at 04:20 pm
This is a great example as to what useless stuff we make.
But hey, it didnt stop that blind kid for wanting a camera, or the choir that goes to sing for the deaf. Or why paris hilton would want kids, but that's a whole different thing.
January 5th, 2009 at 07:56 am
Why is this useless? People (often ex-alcoholics) drink non-alcoholic beer for the flavour, and at events that don't allow alcohol, so why wouldn't they drink this for the flavour? Please don't say vodka has no flavour. You'll have all of Russia up in arms.
As for the Shamwow, it works very well. If you are having trouble getting it to work, try it with liquids. It won't absorb powders or steak, it's meant for liquids.
February 14th, 2009 at 05:20 pm
To be honest, I don’t find non-alcoholic vodka a silly product. It really can help alcoholics replace they’re bad habits with harmless ones. It’s a silly product for those who don’t have alcohol problems, indeed. I think this product should be used only in Alcohol Rehab centers.
February 26th, 2009 at 01:20 am
Imagine the use of non-alcoholic vodka: it would very useful in an alcohol rehab program. Alcohol addicts could recover easily with this kind of drink, something like a placebo.
Post new comment