Just when you thought the fourth horsemen of the apocalypse that is “Jersey Shore” was only limited to America, BAM! MTV throws a British version in your face! It’s called “Geordie Shore” and it is a direct copy, archetype for archetype, of the American version. Except there’s very little sunshine…
The “Geordie Shore” is located in Newcastle upon Tyne, a reasonably notable area of Northeast England with a few tourist areas and a diverse population. From the four minutes of internet research I did, the Geordie shore area doesn’t seem all that appealing, and it’s not exactly “beachy” in the American sense, so the cast is going to have to do some serious dramatic drinking to make this show watchable.
The alcohol abuse and willy-nilly boning shouldn’t be a problem for Holly, Gary, Charlotte, Jay, Vicky, Greg, Sophie and James. They are carbon copies of their American counterparts. As you can clearly tell by their bios online. Take, for example “Jay”, the Situation knock-off:
“Diva Jay is rarely pictured with his top on, but who can blame him with a body as buff as his? This deeply tanned stallion works his signature look of heavily waxed eyebrows and tight t-shirts, in an effort to get the lasses back to his bed. ‘Whoever’ & ‘whenever’ is Jay’s mantra in life.
Jay is a partying machine who hits the town every night and prides himself on having a different girl on speed dial for every day of the week. He says his worst nightmare would be starting a relationship in the Geordie Shore house.”
Oh, I get it. He’s always shirtless!
Better still, is the online bio for the British version of Snookie. This fake-tanned chubby bird sounds like a real goer! (I just typed that in a British accent.)
“Nutter Sophie is a real entertainer who loves to have a laugh wherever she goes. Despite her bright girlie wardrobe and bling accessories, she’s a tomboy at heart but has no problem dancing on tables or flashing her boobs- basically anything goes for this pint sized bundle of fun.”
WTF is a “nutter?” I checked my dude to bloke dictionary, but nothing showed up.
Anyway, if that all doesn’t gross you out a little bit, you can watch the cast intro video below. And once you’re hooked, you can head over to MTV.co.uk and watch full episodes.