Explore Holy Taco

Never Ask A Cow For Help

cow fence
Cow #1: Hey Dave, can you give me a hand for a second. I think my neck is stuck in this fence.
Cow #2: No problem. I’ll be right over.

cow fence
Cow #1: Thanks a lot. This is soooooo embarrassing. I have no idea how it happened. One second I’m scratching my back on this post and then…well, here I am.
Cow #2: Don’t even worry about it. So, how are things otherwise?

cow fence
Cow #1: Not bad. The kids are good. Tommy starts school this year…um, Dave?
Cow #2: Yeah?
Cow #1: I appreciate your help. I really do. But are you sure this is the best way to get me out of this fence?
Cow #2: Hang on. We’ll have you out of there in no time.

8 Responses to "Never Ask A Cow For Help"

  1. tallboy7 says:

    Good morning. Here’s pics of cows fucking.

    Thanks, bro

  2. KeeblerKahn says:

    This is like a bovine version of OZ.

    Sometimes a cow has to do things he’s not proud of just to survive. That’s life in the pen.

  3. someguy says:

    hey, cows are girls and bulls are guys…

  4. Dirt Magirt says:

    I would be the bottom cow.

  5. Shaf says:

    It should be re-posted: ‘Hot Girl on Girl Action!!’

  6. franknstein says:

    Um, I believe these are both males – I do believe in the first picture, I see the “stem of the apple”

  7. Ramlag says:

    I’m disappointed in the lack space odyessy references. “you’re hurting me Dave…”

  8. </a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/never-ask-a-cow-for-help/#comment-61753">May 13, 2009 at 9:48 am</a></div> <p>Interesting. No more comment <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> .<br /> I am from Uzbekistan and too bad know English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Oao avtovaz, which is promised to the amount of state billion, will reduce the salary of its top managers.With avtovaz and will be located at the avtovaz plant in the city of togliatti.”</p> <p>Thank you very much <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif' alt=':-D' class='wp-smiley' /> . Min.</p> </div> </li> </ol> </div> </div> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <div id="re_ad_300x250"> <!-- begin ad-tag 300x250 --> <div id="div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"> <script type="text/javascript"> googletag.cmd.push(function () { googletag.display("div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"); }); </script> </div> <!-- end ad tag --> </div> </div> <!-- START OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING TO COPY-PASTE --> <div id="mediaplayer" class="mediaplayer block"> <textarea class="lazyload-right"> <h2 class="heading"> This Street Fight Is So Well Filmed It’s Almost Art </h2> <div class="mediaplayerBox"> <iframe src="//break.com/embed/2655550?embed=1" width="300" height="250" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen frameborder="0"></iframe> </div> </textarea> </div> <!-- END OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING --> </div> <br clear="all" /> </div> <!-- content end --> </div> <div class="footer_wraper"> <div class="footer"> <ul class="network_sites"> <li class="break"><a href="http://www.break.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Videos">Break.com</a></li> <li class="mademan"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/" target="_blank" title="Men's Guide">Made Man</a></li> <li class="gamefront"><a href="http://www.gamefront.com/" target="_blank" title="Game Front">Game Front</a></li> <li class="screenjunkies"><a href="http://www.screenjunkies.com/" target="_blank" title="Movie Reviews">Screen Junkies</a></li> <li class="cagepotato"><a href="http://www.cagepotato.com/" target="_blank" title="MMA News">Cage Potato</a></li> <li class="chickipedia"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/chickipedia/" target="_blank" title="Hot Pictures">Chickipedia</a></li> <li class="holytaco last"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Stuff">Holy Taco</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="footer_foot"> <a href="http://www.breakmedia.com" title="Break Media" class="logo_breakmedia" target="_blank">Break Media</a> <ul class="quicklink_bm"> <li><a href="http://www.breakmedia.com/for-advertisers">Advertise</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/contact/holy-taco-privacy-policy">Privacy</a></li> <li><a href="http://breakmedia.zendesk.com/portal">Help / FAQ</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/contact/terms-of-use">Terms</a></li> <li><a href="http://info.break.com/break/html/copyright-notices.html">Copyright</a></li> <li><a style="cursor:pointer" onclick="TRUSTeWidget.Tab.link()">Ad Choices</a></li> </ul> <p class="copyright_bm">Copyright © 2011 Break Media. All Rights Reserved.</p> <script src="http://preferences.truste.com/webservices/js?domain=holytaco.com&type=epref" type="text/javascript"></script> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> if(typeof _brkPVO == 'undefined') var _brkPVO = 'pe=a&pi=775'; (function() { var brkpv = document.createElement('script'); brkpv.type = 'text/javascript';brkpv.async = true;brkpv.src = 'http://media1.break.com/break/js/lamp/pageview.min.js?v=221'; document.body.appendChild(brkpv); })(); </script> <!--Plugin Missed Schedule 2013.0130.2222 Active - Key Tag: bkytCi8L522P8RbgYIlkQbL6Yz4JDvIWlTlXN5q776Yvq5t7gxkCvB643C7osdFV6--> <div id="tracking" style="height:0px; width:0px; overflow:hidden;"> <!-- Start Comscore Beacon --> <script type="text/javascript"> document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + (document.location.protocol == "https:" ? "https://sb" : "http://b") + ".scorecardresearch.com/beacon.js' %3E%3C/script%3E")); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> COMSCORE.beacon({ c1:2, c2:"4000003", c3:"4000003", c4:escape(window.location.href), c5:"", c6:"", c15:"" }); </script> <noscript><img src="http://b.scorecardresearch.com/b?c1=2&c2=4000003&c3=4000003&c4=&c5=&c6=&c15=&cv=1.3&cj=1" style="display:none" width="0" height="0" alt="" /></noscript> <!-- End Comscore Beacon --> <!-- Start Quantcast tag --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://edge.quantserve.com/quant.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript">_qacct="p-83WcMqNwWwE46";quantserve();</script> <noscript> <a href="http://www.quantcast.com/p-83WcMqNwWwE46" target="_blank"><img src="http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-83WcMqNwWwE46.gif" style="display: none" border="0" height="1" width="1" alt="Quantcast"/></a> </noscript> <!-- End Quantcast tag --> <!-- START Nielsen Online SiteCensus V6.0 --> <!-- COPYRIGHT 2010 Nielsen Online --> <script type="text/javascript"> (function () { var d = new Image(1, 1); d.onerror = d.onload = function () { d.onerror = d.onload = null; }; d.src = ["//secure-us.imrworldwide.com/cgi-bin/m?ci=us-103628h&cg=0&cc=1&si=", escape(window.location.href), "&rp=", escape(document.referrer), "&ts=compact&rnd=", (new Date()).getTime()].join(''); })(); </script> <noscript> <div> <img src="//secure-us.imrworldwide.com/cgi-bin/m?ci=us-103628h&cg=0&cc=1&ts=noscript" width="1" height="1" alt="" /> </div> </noscript> <!-- END Nielsen Online SiteCensus V6.0 --> <!-- BEGIN Google Analytics tracking --> <script type="text/javascript"> var _gaq = _gaq || []; // Google _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-3335426-4']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 1, 'Content Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 2, 'Article Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 3, 'Article Sub-Type', '']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 4, 'Trending', '']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageLoadTime']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); </script> <!-- END Google Analytics tracking --> <!-- Blue Kai track tag --> <img height="1" width="1" src="http://tags.bluekai.com/site/4517"> <!-- 1x1 tracking pixels --> <script type="text/javascript"> if(typeof GA_googleFillSlot != 'undefined') { GA_googleFillSlot("hpto_holytaco_pixel"); GA_googleFillSlot("hpto_holytaco_pixel2"); } </script> <!-- End 1x1 tracking pixels --> <!-- Comment Meebo BRKWP338 <script type="text/javascript"> Meebo('domReady'); </script> --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://tags.crwdcntrl.net/c/835/cc.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">LOTCC.bcp();</script> </div> </body> </html> <!-- Performance optimized by W3 Total Cache. Learn more: http://www.w3-edge.com/wordpress-plugins/ Page Caching using memcached Database Caching 3/12 queries in 0.243 seconds using memcached Object Caching 701/724 objects using memcached Content Delivery Network via cdn2.holytaco.com Served from: www.holytaco.com @ 2014-09-02 07:18:45 by W3 Total Cache -->