A List Of Potential Future Facebook Changes That Will Inevitably Annoy You

Great news everybody, Facebook has gone and changed things up again! They just keep rearranging the furniture to try and make their crumby studio apartment look like a classy mansion. Stop it, Facebook! You have a bajillion (estimated) and they rely on the consistency of your platform day in and day out to distract them from their awful day jobs, or the fact that they’re unemployed! We just don’t need twelve ways to do the same damn thing. We’d all love for you to stop making so many changes, but we know it’s not up to us. Someone over at Facebook is in charge of making those changes, and if they’re not actively doing so, then they won’t look busy. They’d just be spending all their time on Facebook. But, whatever, you’re going to keep doing it, so here’s a few predictions on the infuriating changes you’ll make in the coming months:

1. Newer, Crappier Chat System

In the future, Facebook’s new chat system will only show you people who are offline, and people you don’t talk to anyway. All of your online friends will be buried somewhere. There’s a setting you can enable to change it back to normal, but good luck finding it! Facebook will further remind you that G-Chat is for chatting.

2. A Really Frustrating Photo Gallery Interface

You used to be able to click on a photo album, look at the photos and click through them. Everything was pleasing to the eye, and the interface was easy to understand. Then, Facebook changed it and made it super ugly. Soon, Facebook will only allow you to view the photos that show nothing of interest, and your only option for view them will be a fullscreen slideshow.

3. Fourteen Different Ways To Update Your Status

Going all the way up to the “Update Status” bar with your heavy, tired mouse hand was an incredible inconvenience. Future Facebook will allow you to click almost anywhere to update your status. Click on a friend’s link and a status box will appear, click on a photo thumbnail and a status box will appear, or just click on a friend’s status box and your own status box will appear. So how are you supposed to click friends’ links, photo albums or status’s without updating your own? We don’t know. Just wait for the next round of changes.

4. New, Updated Problems With The Facebook Mobile App

Facebook’s new mobile app will now work poorly on all major mobile OS’s. Doesn’t matter what kind of phone you have, Facebook mobile will run poorly on it. When we run updates on the mobile apps, we’ll fix one or two of the reported problems and introduce at least seven more, new problems.

5. See Only What’s Absolutely Not Important In Your Feed

Facebook will fix the feed system one more time and allow you to see only the things you’d rather not. Your feed will now be full of posts from your shutterbug friends with newborns and all posts from your exes. Posts from your exes about how happy they are with their new partners will be bumped to the top.