Casper, the British cat who made headlines around the world for regularly waiting in line and hopping on the local bus, was killed by a hit-and-run driver in his hometown of Plymouth, England. Police are on the look out for a white Ford Escort with the license plate: QRIOCTY.
Erik Sprague, a man who’s modified his body to resemble that of a lizard, complete with tattooed scales and a forked tongue, has recently written an autobiography about his life as the Lizardman. Critics have compared the autobiography to the classic works of Emily Dickenson, in that it’s basically all about never getting laid.
A man was taken into custody after he removed his clothes and began jogging a few blocks from the White House. The Secret Service confiscated the man’s duffel bag containing his clothes and personal items and later released him when it was determined that he was simply trying to make it easier for the government to f*ck him.
An Alaska man who hit a Taco Bell manager in the face with a double-decker taco has been sentenced to one day in jail, one year of probation, and is banned from Taco Bell for an entire year. No word yet on where the man will now be spending the first few hours of what he refers to as "Explosive Diarrhea Night".
Who would want to read lizard man’s bio?
Was the cat scooped-up by a chink and put in a tasty stir fry??
I have to commend the license plate joke.
Hilarious! Good show, HT!
The fat Whites are trying to take back the White House with their undersized concealed weapons. Stop them Captain Obama.