Nicholas Cage Does NOT Steal Chihuahuas

You can call Nicholas Cage a lot of things, but don’t you DARE call him a Chihuahua thief or you’re entering a world of pain.  People.com reports:

On Friday, Nic Cage’s attorney began libel proceedings against Kathleen Turner at London’s High Court.

Cage, 44, is suing Turner, his former Peggy Sue Got Married co-star, 53, for writing in her new autobiography:

“He caused so many problems.  He was arrested twice for drunk-driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog.  He’d come across a chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.”

If that’s true, that is amazing.  Like, what kind of perception of reality do you have to have to just see someone else’s dog and be like “Yeah.  I’ll take that.”  Also, if he did do that, there’s no way he just did that once.  Stealing chihuahua’s I imagine is more addictive than heroin.  And the only reason I could see for stealing multiple chihuahuas would be this:

Before I receive angry e-mails from PETA members, everybody just relax.  There’s no such thing as a Chihuahua bazooka.  I know, I spent most of my teenage years trying to build one unsuccessfully.