And now, a letter from my penis…
Dear Nikki Cox (and other Hollywood Starlets),
Please stop doing weird things to your face and head. I do not understand why you feel the need to constantly screw (no pun intended) with yourselves. You’re already attractive. Stop filling every crevice with collagen or botulism or pig feces or whatever the hell those crackpot doctors use to try and make you look younger. I would prefer you just look like a normal person who’s 29, than a bloated, alien horse (with a very nice body, I might add) who’s screaming for her younger years. Because the bad news is, people who get plastic surgery don’t look younger or sexier (except for Ashlee Simpson), they just look like people who’ve had plastic surgery.
I don’t ask for a lot. A warm (and moist) place to lie my head, and a human face to think about while my head is lying there. So please, lay off the cosmetic surgery. For me.
PS: This rant does not include breast implants.