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An Official Confession of Laziness

If you’re one of the many lazy people out there, we’re here to help.  We’ve created this Official Confession of Laziness just for you.  Just email it to whoever needs to see it, or tell them to come here and look at it on your behalf.  Whatever’s easiest.

26 Responses to "An Official Confession of Laziness"

  1. Badass says:

    If a female didnt write this, ill eat my chick.

  2. Advice Dog says:

    Someone read a page of foul bachelor frog posts and turned them into a checklist.

  3. HB says:

    Additions to the list:

    You eat expired/rancid/moldy food and beverages because you’re too lazy to go to the store and buy fresh stuff

    You keep pushing the already full trash bag down so you can fit in that one last piss filled Gatorade bottle so you don’t have to be the one to take out the trash.

    You eat at McDonalds

    You wear your tee shirts inside out so you don’t have to wash the ketchup stains out the other side

    I could do this all day lol

  4. Coffeeeee says:

    That is fucked up shit, who stirs coffee with a goddamn napkin? That taints the flavor of the coffee, you stupid hobos! God damn, use something flavor neutral! And I’d rather just wipe with toilet paper than put my hand in my poop. That is gross, you gross motherfuckers.

  5. caught says:

    guilty of #6. was 11, watching Red Shoe Diaries in the basement. fell asleep with my PJs off and my dick smushed between two pillows. parents found me like that in the morning

  6. v0b0 says:

    i am guilty of most of these. the trick is not to change but simply to learn to delegate. for example i pay someone to clean my house and wash my clothes. Also learn to live with less, chinese style decorating will be much easier if you’re lazy. Think messy but not gross. If you have these habits you’ll probably never change but if you think creatively you can sort of go around the problem.

  7. Charlie says:

    This is my f***ing roommate.

  8. lawrencek says:

    I’m pretty sure someone who was confessing to being that lazy wouldn’t have even checked it off!

  9. SP says:

    You guys are all jackasses, whatever idiots.

  10. ?? says:

    If you’re guilty of 100% of them why would you bother saying you wont confess to which ones because they’re embarrassing? You confessed to all of them by saying 100%

  11. Bosco says:

    ?? <— YOU are a dumb motherfucker.

  12. Jim Bobway says:

    that’s the whole point… it’s a joke.

  13. Astonished says:

    Wow what a dumbass

  14. ?? Hater says:

    ?? is a fucktard

  15. SP says:

    I’m not going to say which ones (because some are embarrassing) but I am guilty of 100% of these.

  16. Anonymous1 says:


  17. Rutherfoo says:

    I wipe my mouth with the shirt I wiped my ass with.

  18. Rutherfoo says:

    I wipe my ass with the t-shirt I’m wearing rather than lean over and use the toilet paper.

  19. Off and Onymous. says:

    Thanks, Holy Taco. This list really made me take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror and evaluate, eh, this is taking too long to type. Fuck it.

  20. Bob says:

    Nothing is wrong, in fact I have always considered pissing into a bottle quite an efficient use of natural body dimensions. You have to however, empty the container within a few hours, otherwise it will start to stink, or you’ll have visitors and be so used to the containers sitting there, you’ll forget to hide them.

  21. Anonymoose says:

    whats wrong with pissing in a gatorade bottle? sometimes im too tired after nutting to get up and go to the bathroom

  22. Paul says:

    I’m guilty of numbers.. 2, 3, 10, 12 and 14

  23. Paul says:

    well I dont always do number 3, just when its convinient

  24. Rob B says:


  25. john woods says:

    Holy Taco dude, youve done it again!