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An Open Letter to YouJizz.com

youjizz letter
Dear YouJizz.com,

I’ve been a regular user for about two years, and I want to thank you for all you’ve given to me. Providing free hardcore pornography to anyone with an internet connection is no easy task, yet somehow, day after day, you make it happen. You’re like the Robin Hood of online smut, robbing from the rich, and giving to the poor, ugly, and unemployed.

That being said, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that I will no longer be frequenting your site. My reasoning is simple. I no longer wish to be subjected to shemale porn randomly and without warning. Why you allow chicks and chicks with dicks to mingle freely on your front page is beyond my comprehension, and frankly, it’s something I do not wish to comprehend.

Admittedly, I’m not a very adventurous guy. I don‘t like group scenes. I’ve tried to get into “Squirting,” and I’ll admit that Cytheria is quite a performer. But I’m pretty sure some of those girls are just urinating on themselves, and that’s not my thing. Also, you can call me a racist, but the interracial stuff doesn’t float my boat either since I have a hard time imagining myself with a big black phallus, which takes me out of the scene.

But at the end of the day, I understand that the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for me, may not be right for some. So who am I to say what’s acceptable?

First they came for the bukkake, and I said nothing because I didn’t watch gangbangs. Next they came for water sports, and again I said nothing, because I wasn’t into pee. But then, when they came for the lesbian ATM, there was no one left to speak for me.

However, shemale porn is an entirely different animal. Browsing for straight porn and randomly seeing a chick with a dick isn’t like finding a stray mushroom on a cheese pizza. You can’t simply pick it off or eat around it. It’s more like a turd in your martini. Even if you remove it, the essence has permeated the entire drink. It sticks with you.


So you’ll understand my frustration upon encountering a picture of some she-he’s junk while I search for a video of Faye Reagan scissoring Samantha Saint. Try as I might to focus on the naked women doing awful, wonderful things to each other, the image of the lady-boy has worked its way into my subconscious. This makes for a very uncomfortable situation. Am I enjoying the women on the screen, or am I secretly being aroused by the image of the back-door tranny? That’s a question I don’t want to have to ask myself under normal circumstances, much less when I’m visiting your site for recreational purposes.

Thus far, my complaint has focused on she-males. But the same is true of gay porn. What five men and a cucumber are paid to do in the privacy of some West Hollywood flophouse is of no concern to me. But when you randomly throw it in the middle of a bunch of straight porn clips, you make it my business. And the same goes for another disturbing trend I’ve noticed on your site: incest porn. This is even more egregious because the pictures seem harmless. It is only after reading the title that you realize you’ve been looking at “Son Blackmails Mommy.” Totally unacceptable.

What makes the entire situation so frustrating is the fact that this could easily be rectified. Why not simply keep the she-males in a separate, yet equal, corner of the site that someone won‘t happen upon by accident. Or, if you insist on having it on the front page, at least give me the option to block videos that are hermaphroditic in nature. This would also allow trannys and tranny lovers alike to block out images of naked women, which for all I know, they may find equally offensive.

steve buscemi

Well, there you have it. Until these problems are rectified, I can not in good conscience continue to frequent your site. I hope you understand that this is not done out of malice. I wish you the best of luck, and I look forward to the day when I can return to your site without fear. Until that day comes, you can find me at Pornhub.com (unless I’m in the mood for a Tranny).


Tom Hanks

28 Responses to "An Open Letter to YouJizz.com"

  1. Ian Fortey says:
    stop trying to ruin the joke.
  2. DonkeyXote says:

    Hilarious! xD

  3. yj says:

    There is a filter link at the top of the page on youjizz where you can select “straight”. It filters out all the gay and tranny stuff, try it ;)

  4. rhodesienne says:

    must suck to be someone with so many insecurities and hangups.

  5. Frank says:

    You’re obviously too much of a faggot to jack off to shemale porn anyways, maybe you should get a real fetish like everyone else instead of acting like a such a bitch. You’re on a hardcore pornography site.

  6. chodeswine says:


  7. the representative says:

    prudes. go fuck yourself. holy taco blows!!

  8. Nightlight 990 says:

    Straight porn sucks, as a woman I can tell the female is fakistand 95% of the time and they use the same guys in every video. I suggest ladies go to gay porn cause the guys are hotter.

  9. Soo Bing says:

    LOL, now thats what I am talking about dude. LOL


  10. BuckHanson says:

    Instead of You Jizz try Keandra.com seriously one of the best if not, THE BEST pr0n site. They have just about any type sexual “fantasy” in neat alphabetical order (look at the bottom of the page)

    There is always the hun’s yellow pages…but keandra.com is seriously awesome.

  11. ranjeet says:

    Dear SIR

  12. ranjeet says:

    pls delect this vedio ,my family is destory,my one baby ,if my wife soccide,than i soccide with my baby ,pls help me by grace of allah,allah fillfull all you desire,pls help me for life

  13. YouJizz Admin says:

    Problem has been rectified, homepage now defaults to straight porn only…Welcome back :)

  14. Anonymousius says:

    You just need to get used to it. Tranny top and dude bottom is the best kind of porn.

  15. JohnWayne says:

    i agree with no-homo.. tranny on chick is better than dude on chick..

  16. johnjo says:

    there is a filter option on the homepage. It’s right at the top on the right, you can choose straight/gay/both.

  17. e cig says:

    Wow Steve B is hilarious.

  18. Jambalaya says:

    Holy Taco started being shitty more than 3 months ago.

    Sorry to break the bad news to you.

  19. With me says:

    The world has moved on since you left.

  20. billyjoe says:

    I just came back from a 3 month vacation, and WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN TO HOLY TACO!?!?!?! And what the hell happened to GOOGLE IMAGES!?!?!?!

  21. Beej.com says:

    Couldn’t agree more, Tom

  22. Forrest Hump says:

    Life is like a box of dildos. Ya never know what you’re gonna get up your cornhole.

  23. aPlateOfGrapes.com says:

    Although I give the nod to Saving Private Ryan, this is one of Tom’s best. Great stuff from start to finish.

  24. No-Homo says:

    To be completely honest I would rather see a shemale banging a chick than a dude. As long as its not dude on shemale, or shemale on shemale, I’m fine with it.

  25. Coop says:

    this was hilarious. bravo

  26. kcmo says:

    all of us really are the same

  27. Transgendered Folks Everywhere says:

    Well, it was nice watching your site via RSS until now. Way to fail, and enjoy your transphobia.

  28. TomHanks4Eva says:

    Yeah, because not wanting to see a girl with a cock while looking for straight porn is soooo offensive.

    Get over yourself.