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Open Letters to Annoying People

Letters are a good way to communicate with people that you, for one reason or another, can’t have a face-to-face interaction with.  This can be particularly effective when you’re dealing with someone who is incredibly annoying.  Here are some letters that we’d like to send to some particularly frustrating people:
 
 
 

 
 
 

43 Responses to "Open Letters to Annoying People"

  1. Corrinne says:

    So… personal feeling on little dogs in stores. I much prefer a little dog being held by their owner (provided it isn’t yappy, which they usually aren’t) than the monsters people have for kids running around. Today I saw a little kid LICK a package! And not super little, like 8 years old. They bump into me, they screech, they cry, throw tantrums… little obnoxious kids are WAY worse that little dogs.

    It isn’t sanitary to bring a dog into a store that sells food but it isn’t sanitary to have little brats people call “kids” running around touching EVERYTHING either.

  2. Kavan Wolfe says:

    Guys grunt when they lift big weights for the same reason martial artists Kiai when they strike – it helps you let out more power. If you don’t like noise, go do pushups in the library. Pussy.

  3. J says:

    Wow!! Thats too fucking much! You are a complete dick head!

    Lets fast forward 10 years and see if you meat heads are still lifting heavy!

  4. b0bby says:

    rofl

  5. P says:

    someone, you must have missed the most recent post on cracked. 7 ways for you to SHUT THE FUCK UP

  6. Jack says:

    hahahaha, you’re a fat idiot.

  7. Someone says:

    Open Letter to Holy Taco:

    Dear Holy Taco,

    You are not Cracked.com. Quit trying so hard. I didn’t even laugh at this.

    Love,
    Pretty much everyone

  8. Bill Nye, the rape guy says:

    Jesus Christ are you a loser. At least Holy Taco tries something different. Cracked is the same fucking shit every day. Do you ever really wake up and say “man, I can’t wait to read 7 wrestling moves that ended up changing the course of history!” There shit is long winded and repetitive as hell. I may not always laugh at holy taco posts, but at least they’re surprising.

  9. Steve Case says:

    I recently did this to show my displeasure with the apartment complex I live in and most of its residents.

    “No more free bikes! Also, hermit people who live upstairs, you shit and piss so much that when you flush it now it comes right in my bathroom sink. Apt. complex people, stop putting notes on my door saying I didn’t pay rent, its messing with my game.”

  10. Donald Gaines says:

    An Open letter to Those who won’t face or hear me.
    Judge Frank “Trippy’ McGuire
    Clerk Circuit: 22 Roger A Powell
    My complements to you both for the knife in my back and your unwillingness to even considering hearing me oh ya lets not forget sending my notice to the wrong address so I would not receive it in time to be in your kangaroo court this must be a wonderful tactic to protect your friends Right?
    Sincerely

  11. kevin says:

    (linkback) Funny or Lame? Open Letters to Annoying People [VOTE] – http://www.pikk.com/7bee0

  12. Ryan says:

    Here’s an airline complain letter which compares said airline to Schlitz beer. Quality.

    http://www.upgradetravelbetter.com/2008/10/30/you-have-chunks-in-your-beer-amazing-customer-letter-to-midwest-airlines/

  13. abigail says:

    i like using http://allofcraigs.com to search all the rant and raves on craigslist. sometimes i come across some real gems.

  14. Rafael says:

    Yeah, honestly, shut the fuck up, guy.

  15. ourcade says:

    The supreme court case you stated is genius! I’ll be using that one for sure! Great Stuff! (AND tanlines *ARE* awesome!)

  16. I hate your site filthy richmond says:

    “Jason Bacon” stop spamming your bullshit site in the comment sections all over the web. Oh by the way- you ain’t funny bitch.

  17. adam says:

    shut up

  18. Johnny Sacks says:

    Holy Taco dude that is just too cool!

    RT
    http://www.anonymize.tk

  19. Frankinator says:

    Man, that was the best I’ve seen on here in awhile. I laughed my ass off! That was awesome…good job.

  20. Mark says:

    And technically, they can go over your taxes up to 7 years in the past. It’s not like that’s a little-known piece of trivia =/

  21. Steve says:

    They were all good but I can dig the last one the best. Just insert “United States Tax Board” and you’ve got it nailed.
    (Ya still do really)
    HOLY TACO RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Idiotshavepridetoo says:

    Yeah, shut up and allow us idiots to remain ignorant. We feel prouder that way!

  23. Thom says:

    This is kind of like tothewho.com

  24. supermanlymangunowner says:

    i want a beer.

  25. funkyraulmedina says:

    I guess when you get “to” old for this shit you forget how to spell TOO.

  26. justin says:
    Thanks. Fixed it.
  27. getting to old for this shit. says:

    some of these were actually too whiney… the i.r.s. one in particular; and what’s with the repeated copy/paste graph in the “yappy” dog little. you fellas are losing your edge.

  28. Anomynous says:

    “Two” much reading … looks like you haven’t done enough, Perfesser.

  29. Professor Coronopolis says:

    Two much reading. Although I hope you get a HJ too. Reminds me of the time a girl pissed my bed drunk so I made her do my sheets and give me a HJ. She was hot. Well until she stopped doing coke.

  30. Ally says:

    That roommates girlfriend one hit the nail right on the head.

  31. Mickey Mouse says:

    I had the same problem with my roommates GF! So I boned her! All was good, now she is my roommate and he is gone!

  32. Bored at work says:

    I like it. had a roommate with a girlfriend and i had exactly the same problem. well done

  33. Chimichanga is the code word for cameltoe says:

    Great, I laughed my ass off.

  34. philosopher says:

    I love the MJ one

  35. Michael Jackson says:

    Fuck you Philosopher

    Love MJ

  36. Little Boy says:

    Fuck you, Michael Jackson!

  37. Jordy Chandler says:

    Fuck me Michael <3

  38. hey its me says:

    awesome

  39. - says:

    oustanding work gentlemen

  40. Anomynous says:

    indeed, you have gained over 9000 points

  41. vegeta says:

    WHAT 9000??!!!!