The Morning Jolt: A Little Pot
I had a little pot once but my ex stole it. Now I just use a waffle iron.
By:Ian Fortey|February 7, 2013
25 Things the Canadian Penny Can Do Now That It’s Retired
Canada has finally done what everyone with a pocketful of pennies looking for a quarter has wanted to do for ages – they’ve abolished the little copper shit. No longer will Canadians be forced to deal with pennies and the tight asses will forever lament how something that should be 8 cents will now be rounded up to a dime. But now that the penny is retired, what can it do? Lots!
By:Ian Fortey|February 6, 2013
The Morning Jolt: I Have a Bad Case
Confirmed by 3 chicks working out.
By:Ian Fortey|February 6, 2013
What Your Cliché Tattoo Says About You
Some years ago we ventured to tell you what your tattoo said about you, but times have changed and so have tattoos. Miami Ink, LA Ink, Ink Masters, Tattoo Nightmares and a solid 100 other shows about tattoos have permeated the airwaves. Everyone and their taint bleacher has a tattoo now. Times and perceptions have changed and cliché tattoos are waaaaaay more cliché now. It’s time to take another look at some ink and see what we can see.
By:Ian Fortey|February 5, 2013
The Morning Jolt: The Look of Surprise
Just another day in court. But the last 15 seconds is pretty hilarious.
By:Ian Fortey|February 5, 2013
The 5 Best Places to Set a Horror Movie
A horror movie fan is more passionate than any other kind of movie fan and I’ll tell you why – we wallow in disappointment. No other film genre so routinely suffers from disappointing films as horror.
By:Ian Fortey|February 4, 2013
The Mornign Jolt: Old Milwaukee
Possibly the best commercial of the Superbowl.
By:Ian Fortey|February 4, 2013
Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 1st
January is finally over and with it, all bad movies. Ha ha! No, of course not, every week is bad movies with like three good ones a month. It’s a crap shoot. Which one is worth seeing? It’s hard to tell, especially if you guy by what I write since the whole basis of this is that I have no clue what the hell I’m talking about.
By:Ian Fortey|February 1, 2013
The Definitive List of Fart Euphemisms
Farting. It’s the single funniest thing a person can do. Don’t Google it, don’t debate, don’t even bother trying to think of something funnier. There’s nothing. But the problem with farting, if there is one, is that it may be too funny. It’s too awesome. So awesome, in fact, that there are hundreds upon hundreds of euphemism for them.
By:Ian Fortey|January 31, 2013
American Idol Recap: The Finale
I know what you’re thinking – “Ian, can I undress and feed you chicken wings?” The answer is a resounding yes. And while we do that let me explain something to you – American Idol is, as far as I know, still on TV. I set out this year with a mission, and by that I mean I caught the first episode of American Idol’s new season on a whim and decided I would do episode recaps for you.
By:Ian Fortey|January 30, 2013
The Morning Jolt: R Kelly As He Was Meant To Be
Forget that pederast, golden-shower enthusiast. This guy's much better.
By:Ian Fortey|January 30, 2013
25 Things That Make You an Objectively Bad Person
Listen, I’m no expert on life, love and how things work, but I’m probably more qualified to make decisions about those things than a large percentage of the world. I base this belief on my powers of observation and the fact I’ve witnessed so many idiots in life I’m pretty confident I’m kind of amazing. By virtue of the fact you’re literate and reading this, you’re probably ahead of the game, too.
By:Ian Fortey|January 29, 2013
The 5 Worst Card Games Found Online
Playing cards have existed since the Tang Dynasty in China, Tang being the most awesome and party-filled Dynasty of them all. Since that time they’ve evolved into one of the most timeless, reliable and fun ways to pass the time.
By:Ian Fortey|January 28, 2013
The Morning Jolt: Miami Blackhawks
Ok, so the official story here is that military Blackhawk helicopters, police vehicles and boats are all doing a training operation in downtown Miami. So the Military is training with local police, blocking off major highways and firing blanks at the highway in the middle of the night. But it's just training. They are not trolling conspiracy theorists in any way.
By:Ian Fortey|January 28, 2013
Upcycle Your Broken Mobile Phone Parts into Survival Tools
You know how sometimes when you go hiking you get attacked by a mountain lion or a clan of inbreds and you hurl your phone in a fit of ill-planned panic and now you can't call for help and your phone is broken? Well don't lost hope just yet, turns out you can use your phone parts to do some amazing things. After all, even the best cell phones can only do so much when used as they were intended. But busted up you can be all MacGyver with them.
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2013
Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 25th
It’s a brand new week at the ass end of January where few people try hard when it comes to films. Is that unfair? Not really. On the upside there’s a movie I actually want to see coming out this week. In limited release. Listen, limited release, you can suck a fart bag. No one likes limited release. Go hard or go home, cowards.
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2013
The Morning Jolt: The Tarsier
I have that lizard book around here somewhere.
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2013
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
- 7 Kinds of Pet Videos on Youtube
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- 5 Things Everything Must Like to Be Normal
- 25 Examples of Unintentional Porn
- 35 Awesome Bathroom Graffiti
- 25 Most Embarrassing Facebook Comments
- One Wrong Life Choice, This Is Billy Bob Thornton
- The Saturday Video : When Horrifying and Hot Meet
- 25 Honest Ways to Describe Subway’s Guacamole
- The Morning Jolt: Miss Utah Kills This Answer
