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charles-manson

Beards Are Not Attractive. To Anyone. According To Science.

Hey, you, with the scraggly pubes on your face that you think makes you look mature, wise, and rugged. That thatch of barbershop dumpster contents you’ve got on your face that you call a “beard” isn’t as sexually appealing as you once thought. In fact, it’s sexually appalling, according to science. And did you notice that thing I did there? I used one word that meant something good, and followed it up by using a second word that sounds similar to the first, but means the opposite. You just got school on the art of witty wordplay, you disheveled husk of a man.

By:|March 6, 2012


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GIF Attack!

"How do you like it, human?!"

By:|March 6, 2012


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25 Ridiculous Love Dolls (mildly NSFW)

Having a love doll at all is kind of sad. Having one of these is just wrong. So wrong.

By:|March 6, 2012


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How Much Is Your Body Worth?

Money is big news. Unemployment, the 99%, shady business dealings, overpaid athletes, the world is enamored with money – who has it, who doesn’t and where it goes and how it gets there. It’s wonderful. Oh, plus one time, I found $5 right on the sidewalk. It was awesome. I bought a Coke and then I think I lost the rest.

By:|March 6, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Yoga Farm of Terror

Nothing here is not traumatic.

By:|March 6, 2012


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32 Texas Independence Babes

Free Texas already!  Except if that happens, we wont have easy access to these hot babes, brought to you by our friends at Coed

By:|March 5, 2012


SpeechJammer

SpeechJammer: The Handy Little Device That Can Shut You Up

Getting people to shut up is one of those wonderful little powers we all wish we had. We’ve all been in a conversation with someone and halfway through realized listening to them speak can be detrimental to our mental health. Or maybe we’ve sat in a movie theater not being able to hear a crucial bit of dialogue because some jackass in the back is trying to be the class clown because no one will listen to him unless you cram them in to a darkened box filled with people. In those moments, we all wish we had a gun that could shut that person up. But real guns are too violent. Whip out one of those in a theater and suddenly everyone has something to say, mostly “Ahhhhh! A gun!” To which you respond, “Yeah, thanks, Capitan Obvious. Pfft! This guy…”

By:|March 5, 2012


KirkSleeveless

Kirk Cameron Doth Protest Too Much

So we're all aware at this point that Kirk Cameron is a born again Christian, right? 'Cause he is, and he's not one of the cool, quiet ones. He still goes on TV and flaps his dumb gums about crap. Most recently, he was on Piers Morgan's show discussing gay marriage. Of course, he was against it. Like really against it. Like so against it that he might actually be for it.

By:|March 5, 2012


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Thoughts from the Dark Side

Yes we’ve posted about this Brisk Saber app a few times now but there’s good reason. The first is that I own my own replica lighsaber now and that makes me a pretty high-ranking nerd. It’s a green Kit Fisto lightseber, of course, because Kit Fisto has the funniest name in all of Star Wars.

By:|March 5, 2012


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The 25 Moods of Nic Cage

Nic Cage is America's greatest treasure.

By:|March 5, 2012


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4 Things We Keep Doing (And Keep Regretting)

Everyone has regrets. Your friends, your coworkers, my parents, the world is full of people who made bad choices and lived to feel bad about it, but maybe it’s a learning experience that we are able to feel regret, something we can internalize and use to grow and become better people. Or maybe some of us are fools who keep doing and regretting the same things over and over again in some horrible cycle of self loathing.

By:|March 5, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Pee Prank

This shouldn't be as funny as it is. But it is. Pee!

By:|March 5, 2012


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Holy Taco Draws the News: Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh was in the news this week. Not sure why? Well, we'll try to explain.

By:|March 4, 2012


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Sunday Comics

Sunday is the best day for Sunday comics. Statistics say so.

By:|March 4, 2012


ME3-Large

20 Reasons I Will Be Calling In Sick On Tuesday (None Of Which Are Mass Effect 3)

I’m going to be calling in sick on Tuesday. The reason for this will be specific and believable, but I can assure you, the reader, and everyone at Break Media, that my reason is legitimate and will have absolutely nothing to do with the release of Mass Effect 3, the third game in what might be my current favorite video game franchise.

By:|March 2, 2012


RedneckEnvironmentalist

What Can Rednecks Teach Us About Going Green?

Going green seems to be one of those things that yuppy city folk are intensely concerned with nowadays, but they'll never be as good at it as mountain-dwelling dew drinking gun-toting folks. Rednecks, hillbillies, slack-jawed yocals, whatever you want to call them were going green long before it was cool, and they're really good at it (according to my fifteen minutes of internet research.) We could all learn a few things from our barefooted brethren about how best to treat the only Earth we've got:

By:|March 2, 2012


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25 Ridiculous Lip Tattoos

In fairness, you don't have a lot of room inside your lip to get something really cool tattooed there. But yeah, here's some ridiculous lip ones.

By:|March 2, 2012


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What Guys Think of Women’s Hair Styles

Women put a lot of effort into their hair, usually. If you weren't sure what guys think of those hair styles and the lady under then, this oughtta help.

By:|March 2, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Goldblum

Yep.

By:|March 2, 2012


StPattysDonut2

Hey, Dunkin’ Donuts: Stop Being Lazy With Your Holiday Themed Donuts!

Hey, Dunkin’ Donuts, yeah, I’m talking to you… So, I went to one of your stores for the first time in a while and, well, here’s what I have to say… Stop being a bunch of lazy donut slinging pricks and stop selling festive donuts that are nothing more than your regular selection of donuts, just with some holiday appropriate sprinkles on top.

By:|March 1, 2012