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happy_long_weekend

25 Thoughts You Have After a Long Weekend

Isn’t getting away awesome? No matter what you did this weekend, barring a life-altering mishap, disease or animal attack, you probably enjoyed it more than being in the office. It’s good to get away. But man, when getting away ends and it’s time to go back to not getting away, that shit is cold, son. That’s when your brain starts getting real negative-like.

By:|July 8, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: Golden Corral Crap

Buffets, man. Blech.

By:|July 8, 2013


review

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: July 5th

This week was all screwed up thanks to the holiday with both big releases coming out on Wednesday and today being left for the shit that studios hope make at least enough money to cover catering on the set.

By:|July 5, 2013


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Happy 4th of July: Cooking By the Book

For you!

By:|July 4, 2013


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How to Get ready for the 4th of July

Tomorrow is the 4th of July and that means parties for America. This is a big deal because it’s a holiday everyone has off and it’s at the peak of summer’s awesomeness so there’s much outdoorsy fun to be had. Not sure what you need to get done in advance? No problem, we got your back.

By:|July 3, 2013


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Ranking Everyday Tasks in Order of Difficulty When You’re Dead Tired

Do you sleep much? I don’t. I want to. My idea of a good day involves sleeping till noon. I could sleep for a solid 14 hours if left to my own devices, but alas I have work and life and responsibilities and a social stigma that says you’re a bit shameful if you sleep more than half a day.

By:|July 2, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: Scary Ass Prank

I like to think this wouldn't be scary in real life, but if this actually happened I'd probably be somewhat disturbed.

By:|July 2, 2013


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25 Things Everyone Forgets About Camping

I spent this past weekend out in the middle of nowhere, which is to say I was very close to a town with a population of under 40,000. Can you imagine? That’s like some kind of amateur hunter/gatherer society shit. Anyway, whilst in the great outdoors I partook of camping, the age old art of trying to live like I don’t have a home but am not homeless.

By:|July 1, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: No Jizzing

A fabulous scene from This Is The End. Go see it if you haven't yet.

By:|July 1, 2013


review

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 28th

I’ve had a busy week and thus I know less about this week’s crop of films than usual. My level of not caring is roughly the same however.

By:|June 28, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: Brad Pitt Abducted

How come I never saw this before?

By:|June 28, 2013


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The Time I Went to Denny’s

Denny’s. It’s likely meaningless to most people. It’s a diner that’s been around since the 1960s serving big, obnoxious breakfasts and staple diner fare. It’s a piece of the American landscape and you love it, hate it or just don’t care. But what of those who have long wanted but never enjoyed it? Ahh, terrible fate.

By:|June 27, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: Bill Burr on Paula Deen

Bill Burr ponders how long until Paula Deen is famous again. I think early 2014.

By:|June 27, 2013


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How To Catch a Prankster

Recently I’ve been subject to neighborhood shenanigans. Every night around 10:30pm or so, I get a knock at my back window. Two quick knocks and then when I go to the back door to look out, no one is there. Whoever it is doing this knocking is fleet of foot and leaves without a trace. For my part, the yard is dark (my back light is broken) and it takes a while for my eyes to adjust back there so if they are creeping about, I may be missing them. For the first few days I didn’t care. But now it is a challenge. My hand was forced.

By:|June 26, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: The Loophole

For Jesus.

By:|June 26, 2013


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The Last of Us (Based on Commercials)

The Last of Us is a PS3 game that was released midway through June 2013. It’s become super popular, kind of the “it” game of the moment and game critics are loving it. I, as an Xbox owner, have not played The Last of Us. However, I have seen about 5 movies in the last month and every movie had a commercial for this game before it at the theater, so I can’t escape it

By:|June 25, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: How to Cut Cheese

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN!

By:|June 25, 2013


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25 Things I Wanted to See in World War Z

If you read Max Brook’s novel World War Z you’d be forgiven for not recognizing the movie of the same name since it literally had nothing in common with it. I think there may have been one scene that came from the book and a handful of bits that were arguably inspired by the book. And all that aside, it wasn’t an awful movie. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad.

By:|June 24, 2013


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The Morning Jolt: Paula Deen’s African American Cooking

As you may have heard, Paula Deen is a horrible racist. Or is she?!?!

By:|June 24, 2013


review

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 21st

It’s a totally creepy week at the movies this week with monsters and beasts and crazy killer types. Or at least those are the movies I cherry picked because it made a kind of a theme for this particular review. Isn’t that great? Last week was what? Man of Steel? That was OK, but not great. This week it’s definitely falling to number two with a couple of heavy hitters and them some shit stains that probably aren’t even playing in you town. Yay!

By:|June 21, 2013