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opening bell nyse

25 of the Most Bizarre NYSE Bell Ringers

Now that the economy is fixed and we're happy as all getout, it's time to focus our attention on the New York Stock Exchange where pretty much any riff raff under the sun can ring those bells.

By:|August 5, 2011


Putin_Feature

Words of Wisdom From Vladimir Putin

Have you ever found yourself in an awkward social situation and wondered what Vladimir Putin would say or do in that same situation? We all have. It's okay to admit it. Luckily for you, we've taken the time to ask Vladimir what we would say in certain situations. Here's what he replied with...

By:|August 5, 2011


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Mariachi Band Serenades a Beluga Whale — Don’t Ask. Just Accept It.

Mariachi Band Serenades a Beluga Whale - Watch more Funny Videos Ciara in a Bikini (Maxim) In This Tough Economy, Even Tooth Fairy Makes Cutbacks (JackRadio) The Science Behind Munchies Plus Stoner Food Porn (COEDMagazine) This Granny Has Bigger Balls Than You Do (DogandPonyShow) Watch Bruce Springsteen’s awful first “Dancing in the Dark” video (Guyism) Kylie Minogue, Sienna Miller, and Claudia Schiffer Strip Down (PopCrunch) Kobe Bryant Hooks Up With Derrick Rose For An Alley-Oop (TotalProSports) 2011 NFL Prediction: 32 Bold Statements for the 2011 Season (BleacherReport) Dumb sports fanatics stab each other at Applebee's (truTV) Santa Fe College Planning 5K Run…Minus Clothes (CampusSocialite) Review: Attack the Block is like Super 8, but with a point (FilmDrunk) Spank Bank: Mindi Smith (GorillaMask) Sofia Vergara’s Spectacular Profile Shot (Hollywood Tuna) 25 Wrecked and Abandoned Ships (RegretfulMorning) Skate Video of the Day (TheDailyWhat) Twenty-Something Ninja Turtles (Heavy) Olivia Munn Shape Magazine Bikini Photoshoot (DJMick) Miesha Tate, Strikeforce Champion (CagePotato)

By:|August 4, 2011


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Holy Taco’s Video of Day – Kardashian Kar Krash

Why are the Kardashian girls such fame whores? Genetics!

By:|August 4, 2011


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Jersey Shore Italy: The Italian Nightmare Continues

Jersey Shore: Italy is here to ruin an entire nation. Italy has put a lot of time and effort into creating and sustaining its present day image as a land of hot women, awesome food and Ginos. And it wasn’t easy to get here, they had to slog a lot of crap. The mafia, the Roman Empire, fat guys in gold chains; there’s been a lot to overcome. And now Jersey Shore, MTV’s televised tribute to helmet-wearing mouth-breathers, has landed in the country shaped like a boot giving them a whole new PR nightmare. But Italians, don’t you dare rest on your laurels. Jersey Shore isn’t your only issue and if you let them they will drag all these other skeletons out of your closet.

By:|August 4, 2011


StupidBaby

Commemorate Your Poor Taste In Knick Knacks With Commemorative Plates!

Keepsakes and mementos are nice to have, unless of course they're ugly commemorative plates. There's still no clear definition of what level of recognizability an event or entity must reach to be commemorated on a plate, which is probably why there's so many goofy ones floating around.

By:|August 4, 2011


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Great Idea, Horrible Execution

Trampoline-To-Swimming Pool Faceplant - Watch more Funny Videos 8 dumbest hybrid sports (truTV) Sandra Vergara Pics (Maxim) Creepy Places You Can Visit Right Now: Salesian Seminary (TheSmokingJacket) False-Bearded Bank Robber of the Day (TheDailyWhat) 30 Awesome Examples of How To Be Creative With Empty Beer (RegretfulMorning) The 20 Greatest Sharks in Pop Culture History (Ranker) Holy Cow! Kate Upton Totally Sizzles In Complex! (Popoholic) Introducing The Lingerie Basketball League (TotalProSports) 5 NFL Teams That Need to Keep Spending on New Players (BleacherReport) Amazing Predator Motorcycle Made from Spare Parts (WildAmmo) The Oddest Children's Hospital Sex Moments (Adult Swim) Obama & Friends Laugh At Your Debt Ceiling (IAmBored) John Krasinski Offers Up ‘The Office’ Season 8 Spoilers (ScreenJunkies) Matt Damon Loves Him Some Teachers (FilmDrunk) Angelina Jolie has way too much time on her hands (CelebSlam) Money for Men: How to fix the economy (Guyism) Spank Bank: Sindi Bertherton (GorillaMask) The 30 Most Absurd Cases Of Accidental Racism (SuperBooyah)

By:|August 4, 2011


tiny gun

25 Sneaky Little Guns

Never trust a man who carries a pistol. But also, never trust anyone with a crucifix, a watch, a lighter, a flashlight, a cane, a belt buckle or anything else you can fit in your hand.

By:|August 4, 2011


justice-league

7 Examples of Misguided Superhero Casting

Henry Cavill was recently cast as Superman in the reboot of the reboot of the franchise in another attempt to not screw it up. Hollywood can do that, you know. Some people find the choice a little questionable, partially because the man is British and partially because people hate all superhero casting choices. It’s pretty much inevitable. If you look hard enough you’ll find someone who probably thought Patrick Stewart was a bad choice for Professor X. But that said, some choices are clearly weirder than others. Let’s take a look at some of the most questionable casting choices in superhero filmdom.

By:|August 4, 2011


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Watch Out For That Tree!

Tree Ends Truck Race Early - Watch more Funny Videos Keira Sky is in better shape than you (RegretfulMornings) Dumb creep walks around neighborhood in bunny suit (truTV) Stuff You Should Know: The Institution of Marriage (TheSmokingJacket) Bear-Punching News of the Day (TheDailyWhat) Top Five Ballsiest Criminals of All Time (Maxim) Dog Fakes Its Own Death (ViralFootage) Marvel debuts new biracial Spider-Man (Nerve) 87 Underbutt Pics (COEDMagazine) 11 Signs You're Dating A Hipster (MTV Clutch) Wanna Be Sneaky About Drinking? Here’s One Way (DogandPonyShow) 16 Celebrities Who Are Smarter Than You Think (PopCrunch) Scarlett Johansson’s Photoshopped Hotness (HollywoodTuna) Batman Takes On Bane (DoubleViking) Kevin Durant Goes on a Tear at Rucker Park (CampusSocialite) Star Wars: The Silent Film (ForkParty) The 20 Worst Parenting Fails, Vol. 2 (Heavy) Banana Mascot Owned (egoTV)

By:|August 3, 2011


Quit Smoking

How To Quit Smoking In 30 Easy Steps

  1) Start fresh. Start with a clean slate. The night before you officially quit, smoke the final cigarette in your pack, and then go to bed. By the time you wake up in the morning, you will have officially started your first cigarette-free day. 2) Go about your morning as usual, being mindful of all of the daily smoking “triggers” you encounter. Triggers are those things you do every day that you unconsciously pair with smoking, like after a meal, while drinking coffee, reading the newspaper, or prepping your bowels for a morning movement. Understand that a craving only lasts a few minutes; if you can make it beyond that, you’re A-okay. 3) While reading the newspaper, re-read the same sentence at least 7 times; because even though you are reading the words, they aren’t registering in your brain due to intense, vivid visions of tobacco smoke dancing merrily only a couple of inches from your face. 4) With every sip of coffee, realize that caffeine is that bitch underling of the far more superior ine known as nicotine. Caffeine is the unsatisfying appetizer to nicotine’s stomach-stretching main course. “Caffeine,” you should say to your coffee. “I see through your veil. You are hollow.” You should whisper that last part, and then imagine you’re whispering it to coffee as it has its back turned to you and you came from the darkness, the shadows, and said that. And then imagine coffee pissing its pants out of fear. After all, coffee is a diuretic.

By:|August 3, 2011


apesshirt

The Apes Are Rising and so Are Our Shirts – A Holy Taco Contest!

It looks like the apes are finally going to rise this Friday and we got sent a box of shirts featuring foul language to go along with it. Monkeys and swear words? Yay!

By:|August 3, 2011


james-franco

James Franco Wants To Put Thoughts In A Museum With Your Money

Proving, once again, that good-looking rich people can get away with anything, James Franco has started a conceptual art project called "MONA". The acronym stands for Museum of Non-Visible Art with some less attractive friends of his. Not only does he want you all to come check it out, he wants you to pitch in a few bucks. I guess he got a bum deal on Spiderman royalties?

By:|August 3, 2011


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A Classic Among Classics

Bill Dance Fishing Illustrated - Watch more Funny Videos Meet The Jilted Wrestler (truTV) Alyssa Diaz Hotness (Maxim) Jessica Alba Looking Busty (Popoholic) The Worst Games Based On Summer Movies (Ranker) Possible Cheerleaders At The Superbowl (TotalProSports) NBA Stars That Are Close To Hang Up (BleacherReport) Ani Haas Is A Boss (BroBible) Amazing Predator Motorcycle (WildAmmo) Teenagers Accidentally Promote Strip Club (Guyism) Escape From The Puppy Death Factory! (AdultSwim) What You Should Know About Marriage (TheSmokingJacket) Adolescent Pro Wrestler (TheDailyWhat) Your Moms A What? (RegretfulMorning) Angelina Has Too Much Time (CelebSlam) Jocelyn Hotness (GorillaMask) The Most Bizarre Chuck E Cheese Photos (SuperBooyah) Behind The Scenes On Dark Knight Rises (IAmBored) Alexander Aja Remakes Pet Semetary (ScreenJunkies)  

By:|August 3, 2011


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Holy Taco Wants you to Enroll in Break University

Unknown Title - Watch more free videos Remember college? Are you in college? Did you drive buy a college once? Then Break U is for you. Break is gearing up for back to school with its own unique curriculum and we brought Mr. Belding along for the ride as our Dean. Thing is, we need some more study material and that’s where you come in – if you’re in college, have been in college or can get to a college, we need you to make us a video that fits into the Break curriculum and you could make $200 easy. We’re talking 2 minutes with your cell phone filming you and the guys in your dorm, the girl you met in 1st year psych or the weird kid who’s always in the computer lab doing something that fits out finely crafted curriculum. So what does that entail? Let’s explore!

By:|August 3, 2011


awesome cosplay

25 of the Most Badass Cosplayers Ever

If you haven't been watching our Facebook page, you may have missed the massive stink caused by our 25 People a Little Too Old for Cosplay gallery. Turns out that gallery was horribly insulting, isn't that weird? While we certainly feel like being insulted by being called too old for cosplay is something that merits the hashtag "white people problems" we appreciate that a couple of those cosplayers were actually wearing good costumes. So then we thought we'd do a gallery of awesome cosplay, because positivism isn't a bad thing. Keep checking out that older gallery though! Yay for traffic!

By:|August 3, 2011


Narcissistic

6 Things Possibly Wrong with 16 Year Old Bride Courtney Stodden

51 year old Doug Hutchison and his creepy 16 year old wife refuse to go away, because society is fascinated by a train wreck that seems to be wrong on a basic moral level. Defenders will argue the point and say that it’s legal for them to be married and that love is just a number, but having sex with a pumpkin is probably legal, doesn’t make it right, and 3 is a number too, what’s your point? Is it wrong to sit in judgment of other people’s lives? Hell no, it’s the basis of our system of laws and civilized society that we judge each other. We have people called judges. If we took no interest in what others do and let them live as they please you’d still have John Wayne Gacy doing birthday parties. And with that in mind, let’s take a moment to try to figure out what’s wrong with this girl’s head.

By:|August 3, 2011


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Holy Taco’s Midnight GIFs

Oh, hello GIF. Fancy meeting you here.

By:|August 3, 2011


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Sex Machine

My Nintendo Hoard - Watch more Game Trailers   Half Naked Pawn (truTV) Alyssa Diez Hotness (Maxim) Behold, The 15 Year Courtship (Nerve) Shark Week, The Drinking Game (JackRadio) Lauren Waugh (Coed) Hot Bikini Contest (Linkiest) Womens Lingerie Basketball Hotness (Clutch) Cheerleaders At The Superbowl (TotalProSports) NFL Vets Who Will Be Cut (BleacherReport) Celebrities Who Are Smarter Than You Think (PopCrunch) Timberlake And Kunis Go To Moscow (TheDailyWhat) What Would Make Shark Week Better? (DogAndPony) Olivia Wilde Hotness (DJMick) Diablo 3 Demands Constant Online Presence (Guyism) Denard Heisman Is Epic (CampusSociliate) Easy Steps In Banging A Bridesmaid (RegretfulMorning) Sandra Vergara Hotness (Maxim) Penn & Teller Fooled? (ForkParty) Rosie Huntington Whiteley Hotness (MoeJackson) The Hottest Pics of Alison Brie (Heavy) Christy West Hotness (GorillaMask) 27 Amazing Soap Sculptures (EgoTV) Lindsay Marie Hicks Hotness (HollywoodTuna) Hot Babe On The Beach (DoubleViking) Amateur Fight At The Dolphin Pool (FilmDrunk) 6 Amazing MMA Occurences (CagePotato)  

By:|August 2, 2011


pink_donut

The Missed Pun Opportunities of The Woman Who Was Arrested For Soliciting Sex From Within A Dunkin Donuts

Dunkin Donuts is one of the most magical places on earth. Granted, to qualify for such a prestigious position all you really need is a vast selection of donuts. Therefore, Dunkin’ Donuts can only be improved by adding sex in to the equation. Sadly, that can never be…but it’s not for a lack of trying. For example, a woman working at a New Jersey Dunkin’ Donuts was arrested for whoring up the joint by making some of that sweet prostitution cash on the side while working night shifts at a local Dunkin’ Donuts. I don’t know why I think this, but to me a woman selling donuts and her vagina out of the same location sounds uniquely American. That’s right up there with baseball, apple pie, and a home with a white picket fence and 2.5 children. That’s America in a nutshell: sex and donuts, which would also make a great title for an eye-opening documentary about morbidly obese people with sex addictions.

By:|August 2, 2011