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1170481 - The End Of The World

The Morning Jolt: No Jizzing

A fabulous scene from This Is The End. Go see it if you haven't yet.

By:|July 1, 2013


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 28th

I’ve had a busy week and thus I know less about this week’s crop of films than usual. My level of not caring is roughly the same however.

By:|June 28, 2013


The Morning Jolt: Brad Pitt Abducted

How come I never saw this before?

By:|June 28, 2013

<Digimax S1000 / Kenox S1000>

The Time I Went to Denny’s

Denny’s. It’s likely meaningless to most people. It’s a diner that’s been around since the 1960s serving big, obnoxious breakfasts and staple diner fare. It’s a piece of the American landscape and you love it, hate it or just don’t care. But what of those who have long wanted but never enjoyed it? Ahh, terrible fate.

By:|June 27, 2013


The Morning Jolt: Bill Burr on Paula Deen

Bill Burr ponders how long until Paula Deen is famous again. I think early 2014.

By:|June 27, 2013


How To Catch a Prankster

Recently I’ve been subject to neighborhood shenanigans. Every night around 10:30pm or so, I get a knock at my back window. Two quick knocks and then when I go to the back door to look out, no one is there. Whoever it is doing this knocking is fleet of foot and leaves without a trace. For my part, the yard is dark (my back light is broken) and it takes a while for my eyes to adjust back there so if they are creeping about, I may be missing them. For the first few days I didn’t care. But now it is a challenge. My hand was forced.

By:|June 26, 2013


The Morning Jolt: The Loophole

For Jesus.

By:|June 26, 2013


The Last of Us (Based on Commercials)

The Last of Us is a PS3 game that was released midway through June 2013. It’s become super popular, kind of the “it” game of the moment and game critics are loving it. I, as an Xbox owner, have not played The Last of Us. However, I have seen about 5 movies in the last month and every movie had a commercial for this game before it at the theater, so I can’t escape it

By:|June 25, 2013


The Morning Jolt: How to Cut Cheese


By:|June 25, 2013


25 Things I Wanted to See in World War Z

If you read Max Brook’s novel World War Z you’d be forgiven for not recognizing the movie of the same name since it literally had nothing in common with it. I think there may have been one scene that came from the book and a handful of bits that were arguably inspired by the book. And all that aside, it wasn’t an awful movie. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad.

By:|June 24, 2013


The Morning Jolt: Paula Deen’s African American Cooking

As you may have heard, Paula Deen is a horrible racist. Or is she?!?!

By:|June 24, 2013


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 21st

It’s a totally creepy week at the movies this week with monsters and beasts and crazy killer types. Or at least those are the movies I cherry picked because it made a kind of a theme for this particular review. Isn’t that great? Last week was what? Man of Steel? That was OK, but not great. This week it’s definitely falling to number two with a couple of heavy hitters and them some shit stains that probably aren’t even playing in you town. Yay!

By:|June 21, 2013


The Morning Jolt: Little Spoon

Man, if I had a nickel for everytime I had something poking me like that.

By:|June 21, 2013


4 Things You Consider When Trying to Fix Your Internet

Yesterday I was required to exchange my old modem for a new one as my internet went all widdershins on me and straight up loco. It was a debacle of majestic proportions that saw me go through several modems, several choice swears and a good chunk of the day without internet.

By:|June 20, 2013


The Morning Jolt: Kidz Bop Butcher Thrift Shop

I don't usually hate kids but these kids and their soulless handlers can all go to hell.

By:|June 20, 2013


1,001 Chip Flavors Made Simple

The world of potato chips (or crisps for you foreigners) is crazy and unpredictable. Many a website has put up an hilarious picture gallery of unusual flavors from around the world (including us, maybe I’ll link it here maybe I won’t. Try to click and see if I did). But at the end of the day, there’s only so much to be done with powder on a fried potato and we’ve all had at least one kind of chip that tasted absolutely nothing like that the package said. So, to simplify things, here’s basically ever chip flavor ever, condensed for your approval.

By:|June 19, 2013


The Morning Jolt: How to Uninstall McAfee

Before watching this you need to realize that this is not an actor, this is actually the guy that started McAfee. That is actually a tattoo. And he actually has a history with guns and cocaine.

By:|June 19, 2013


4 Things I Demand in a Man of Steel Sequel

Like many nerds, I put on my suspenders and went to see Man of Steel this weekend. I give every comic book movie a chance, even if I know it will suck. I even saw Green Lantern. Not in theaters, but I still saw it. And after the previews of Man of Steel, I was hoping it’d be one of the good ones, hoping that DC and Warner Bros had finally managed to make a good film that wasn’t a Christopher Nolan Batman movie. It didn’t really happen.

By:|June 18, 2013


The Morning Jolt: Russell Brand

I've been a closet Russell Brand fan for years and watched as people laid heaps of criticism on him for whatever reason but straight up, he's far more intelligent than many people give him credit for and watching him take over this morning show is just delightful.

By:|June 18, 2013


25 Honest Ways to Describe Subway’s Guacamole

I was wandering past Subway the other day and saw a big ass avocado on a poster outside and I thought “yes, I do like guacamole and I would like a turkey and bacon sub with guacamole on it.” And I do like guacamole. And turkey and bacon subs. And so I thought it would be good. So now here are 25 ways the chain should be advertising the stuff they told me was guacamole.

By:|June 17, 2013