6 Examples of Scumbag Fine Print
Fine print exists because of assholes. People who legally need to let you know something but really don’t want you to know something because it’s ridiculous put it in tiny print where you’re not likely to ever notice it. Many times it’s just mundane details, sometimes it’s absolutely preposterous.
By:Ian Fortey|May 9, 2012
How to Make Your Own Game of Thrones
So, you want to produce an epic fantasy series of books/HBO smut plays, good for you. The fantasy genre has never been hotter than it is right now thanks to Game and predecessors like Lord of the Ring, Harry Potter and whatever that silliness that L. Ron Hubbard wrote was about. Don’t believe the hype that it was sci fi. We should all know fantasy when we see it. No time to explain that joke, on to the next paragraph.
By:Ian Fortey|May 8, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Hilarious in Norway
This is Norwegian comedian Daniel Simonsen. His act is pretty funny, but the delivery is fantastic. Yes, I realize no one likes watching stand up comedy online.
By:Ian Fortey|May 8, 2012
The Walking Carl: Chapter 6
Found a stack of cool old magazines today, in a little shack in the woods. I think it was a whack shack because this is a ton of porn, I was surprised. Not just because it’s so much porn, but because they apparently still publish porn in magazine form. Or they used to, anyway. I guess no one around here had wi fi.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Security System
Seems like maybe this dude just opened up shop in a bad neighborhood, if all of this is really necessary.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2012
Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: May 4th
Yes, this is Silver Screen Scoop, but we talked it over with the janitorial staff in the office and no one liked that name as it really didn’t cut to the heart of the fact that we’re just reviewing movies based on what commercials made us think. Anyway, for the May 4th weekend, we’ve got some winners for you. Let’s review!
By:Ian Fortey|May 4, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Russian News
Don't speak Russian? It's cool. Just watch for about 27 seconds.
By:Ian Fortey|May 4, 2012
This Mom Tanned with her 5 Year Old: An Interview
You may have heard of Patricia Krentcil, the 44 year old New Jersey mother who was arrested for taking her 5 year old daughter to a tanning salon. We sent our man Matt Lauer out to find her (he just followed the smell of mesquite) to conduct a quick interview on our behalf.
By:Ian Fortey|May 3, 2012
The Morning Jolt: The Last Creed Fan
I actually only watched this to the point where he said his own name, ad that's when I decided to put it on the site.
By:Ian Fortey|May 3, 2012
5 Girls You’ll Meet at the Avengers Premiere
This Friday is the premiere of Marvel’s The Avengers, the biggest thing to happen to comic book movies since Dolph Lundgren made us all fall in love with the Punisher. The movie is sure to be huge and will rake in more money than any of us are ever likely to see in our lifetimes, but another thing it will draw in is ladies. Oh yeah.
By:Ian Fortey|May 2, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Rex Velvet
Remember Phoenix Jones, Seattle's very own super hero? Looks like he has a villain. A villain with production values.
By:Ian Fortey|May 2, 2012
How to Start a Third Political Party
So, you’ve decided to ruin the political system in America, good for you. Running for office is never an easy task, and trying to not be either a Democrat or a Republican is basically suicide. And hey, for you Canadians, try running on a Green Party platform. Loser.
By:Ian Fortey|May 1, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Not a Beach
If you can find a stupider story today, laugh at it.
By:Ian Fortey|May 1, 2012
If Your Ex-Girlfriend Is a Dentist, She Will Pull Out Your Teeth
Anna Mackowiak, a dentist in Poland, just pulled what has to be one of the most horrifying, yet impressive, acts of post-break up revenge you’ll probably hear of any time soon.
By:Luis Prada|April 30, 2012
The Walking Carl: Chapter 5
I have a serious problem. Remember zombie Stephen Hawking from last week? Well, I thought I took care of him with a Roman candle, but I guess I just scorched his head a bit. And for whatever reason he seems to have really enjoyed it because he won’t leave me alone. He must have followed my trail somehow because two days ago I was walking through the woods just goofing around and I hear this quiet little “unngghh!” so I turned and there he is!
By:Ian Fortey|April 30, 2012
Who Will Go #1 In The 2034 NFL Draft?
Folks, we’re all currently steeped deep within the burly, possibly HGH raging heart of the NFL draft, a glorious time of year when we watch college kids walk on to a stage to put on a hat that will no longer fit them once they become stars and their heads grow bigger. The draft may be underway, and players are already joining their respective teams, but it’s never too early to speculate on who will be drafted first overall in future drafts. But rather than debate who will go number-one in the 2013 draft, let’s look a little further ahead, way ahead, to the 2034 NFL draft. Which babies of today will be making the headlines 22-years from now?
By:Luis Prada|April 27, 2012
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