Explore Holy Taco
nicki

The Morning Jolt: The Ultimate Goat Mega Mix

Ever wonder who puts these videos together? People like me! Not me specifically, but people like me.

By:|March 1, 2013


cruise1thumb

The Greatest Cruise of all Time!

Have you ever been on a cruise? After last week’s Carnival poop debacle they’re probably not high on your to do list but that’s only because you don’t know about the life changing event I’m about to tell you about. You better go pee first then meet me back here in the next paragraph.

By:|February 28, 2013


start

The Morning Jolt: Freedom of Speech

Don't ever let the man push you around.

By:|February 28, 2013


bacon

6 Awards We’d Rather See

Awards season is just wrapping up after the debacle of the Grammys and the Oscars and everything else no one really wants to see because it’s boring and self indulgent and all we do is bitch every year on Twitter and Facebook and, I dunno, Instagram? I don’t use that shit

By:|February 27, 2013


big-rock-jack-rabbit-light-commercial

The Morning Jolt: If This is Light Beer

I never saw this before. It's good.

By:|February 27, 2013


00w

The 6 Worst Chocolates Ever

Usually I try to stray from personal pieces in my writing, unless it’s an article about Fleshlights and I assume you’d all be interested in knowing what my wang is up to. But this one, I feel, is an important educational piece, a public service, if you will, that explores a dark, terrible secret in society.

By:|February 26, 2013


skrill

The Morning Jolt: Skrillex Goats

The reign of goats shall continue!

By:|February 26, 2013


21 and Over

21 and Over Caption Contest

Hey kids, do you like the parties and the booze and the funny movies, or at least one of those three things? Sure you do and if you said no, may I direct you to Better Homes and Gardens where nancies like you can learn how to knit a knitting bag. Isn’t that meta lame? So lame.

By:|February 25, 2013


tumblr_m8j101rQa51qzjr35o1_500

The Morning Jolt: Miley vs Goat

BEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME!

By:|February 25, 2013


review

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb. 22nd

Last week, Bruce Willis fisted the competition into submission just as we all knew he would. You could film Bruce Willis trying different brands of spray-on hair for two hours, call it Die Hard and a Side of Flap Jacks and it’d still be number one the week it opened. This week it looks like most film studios didn’t give a shit and they’re willing to bend over for the Rock. Let’s look.

By:|February 22, 2013


hair-630x372

The Morning Jolt: BURN!!

The expression on her face when she realizes what happened at about 1:25 is just stunning.

By:|February 22, 2013


Bondage_Duck

9 of the Most Depressing Fetishes Ever

Fetishes make the world go ‘round and everyone is into something. You prefer blondes, you prefer big boobs, you like honey mustard on your taint, whatever. Most fetishes (not all. Never all. But most) are perfectly OK. It’s a harmless quirk that turns your crank, so good for you.

By:|February 21, 2013


yoko

The Morning Jolt: Bill Burr Explains How John Lennon and Yoko

Bill Burr is not wrong.

By:|February 21, 2013


fall

The Morning Jolt: Karma, Skater Hater

Considering how many kids in the world are total assholes, this lady should be lucky to have to deal with kids who skateboard and don't even swear at her, or touch her, when she was being a royal twat. Sorry about your face at the end there, Speedy. Maybe put your shoes on when you go dancing next time.

By:|February 20, 2013


stand-up-comedy-mic

11 Terrible Jokes

Why does Peter Pan fly? You’d fly too if someone hit you in the peter with a pan.

By:|February 20, 2013


old wrestling--article_image

The 9 Worst Moves in all of Wrestling

Nothing about modern Western civilization is more confusing than professional wrestling. It makes no sense in layered, complex ways. Like a dog using a lawnmower makes no sense, but pro wrestling is so all over the board and confusing in so many ways you would be forgiven if you thought the whole thing was a big joke. And yet it’s not. I can’t explain it. Anyway, here’s some of the lame crap that passes for moves in wrestling. Don’t ask, just go with it.

By:|February 19, 2013


shake

The Morning Jolt: The Last Harlem Shake

I trust this puts an end to it.

By:|February 19, 2013


pres2

The 7 Best Fake Presidents of All Time

Washington? Lincoln? JFK? Pretenders to the throne . The best Presidents have always been fictional because reality lacks panache. These are the best Presidents film has to offer. Behold!

By:|February 18, 2013


review

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 15th

I have no idea what he deal is this week since a bunch of movies open on Valentine’s Day which is the 14th and why the hell would you open a movie on a Thursday? Are they expecting a lot of movie dates that night and, if so, who the hell is having a romantic evening with John McClane? Whatevs.

By:|February 15, 2013


meteor

The Morning Jolt: Meteor!

You've probably seen this everywhere already but look at it! LOOK AT IT OH MY GOD IT'S INSANE!!!

By:|February 15, 2013