The Heroic Deeds of 6 Real World Batmen
Thanks to Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan, everyone loves Batman again after the near irreparable damage caused by George Clooney and Joel Schumacher. He’s like the Superman of heroes and everyone digs him, but with all the crime-fighting and getting Maggie Gyllenhaal mixed up with Katie Holmes and trying to wrap your head around why the government hasn’t shut down Arkham Asylum, what exactly does Batman do all day? Turns out he pops up all over the place doing all kinds of crap.
By:Ian Fortey|January 27, 2012
The Morning Jolt: French Canadian Yoda
This is more of an unintentionally funny thing, but French Yoda cracks me up. "Erreur!" Ha ha ha! Now I want some French Brisk.
By:Ian Fortey|January 27, 2012
Oklahoma State Senator Likes To Imagine There Are Aborted Fetuses In Your Food
For so many years we’ve assumed our favorite food brands were free of aborted human babies but they totally weren’t. And it took the tireless work of one senator to expose the truth and save us from living within a horrible Soylent Green-esque world. And who knows if those baby fetuses complied with our Atkins diets?
By:Luis Prada|January 26, 2012
GIF Attack!
I don't know if you can tell, but this guy was on the kiss cam. With the camera projecting his image to all in the arena, he passionately made out with his beer. As far as I'm concerned, this guy can take the rest of the year off. Nothing he does for the duration of 2012 will be as good and as entertaining as this.
By:Luis Prada|January 26, 2012
Taco Bell To Serve Breakfast-Like Food Stuffs
Great news for those of you who like to drink until seven a.m.: Taco Bell is adding breakfast items to their menu! Since most Taco Bell is consumed in the wee hours of the morning, we kind of already considered their entire menu breakfast food, but now it's official. Pretty soon, if all goes well in the test markets (which we assume is just a compound full of iron-stomached midwestern orphans with low I.Q.'s), every Taco Bell will have breakfast options. By 2014. As in two years from now.
By:Jim Tews|January 26, 2012
25 Completely Inexplicable Statues
Art is subjective, they say. But for real, all of these statues are totally messed up, Art is subjective, they say. But for real, all of these statues are totally messed up, right?right?
By:Ian Fortey|January 26, 2012
8 Super Fun Serial Killer Songs
Serial killing has become all the rage since Anthony Hopkins made it irascibly charming in the 1990s and true crime drama allowed every pseudo slug who enjoys a James Patterson book to sit at home and be an amateur “profiler” no matter how inaccurate their perception of real serial killer behavior is.
By:Ian Fortey|January 26, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Busta Bowel Movement
For real lady, don't be such a tool.
By:Ian Fortey|January 26, 2012
This Dude Had Sex with an Alien
Our friends at Regretful Morning posted this tale of a man who says he did an alien, and then passed a lie detector. This is probably all very genuine. But also, what a perv.
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2012
11 Bizarre Pieces of Obama Fan Art
Our friends over at the Huffington Post put together this galley of pics that include the above Obama on a Mastodon, which would guarantee his reelection. Check out the full gallery
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2012
Don’t Heckle the Cops from Prison
Let this serve as a lesson, if you're trying to appear remorseful, prank phone calls won't get you very far. Check out the story over at TruTV, it's worth the drive to Acton!
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2012
American Douchebaggery Knows No Boundaries
I'm really, really proud of America right now. Not because we're in the midst of an intense election year that will force our political leaders to step up to the plate, earn their votes and fix the mess that's been made, but because we've exposed the ideal American douchebag to other countries, and they're really latching on to it.
By:Jim Tews|January 25, 2012
Holy Taco’s State of the Union Rebuttal
The picture President Obama painted in his State of the Union address is a rosy one, filled with flowery language and proper “sentence structure”, all about how America is slowly but surely climbing its way out of the economic gutter and back to prominence. While I certainly share his view for the most part, I think we have a much longer ways to go before we declare victory over these troubling times we’ve lived in.
By:Luis Prada|January 25, 2012
GIF Attack!
No, I don't know what this is either, but I do know that it is simultaneously disturbing and the best thing I've see all month. Dance, little girl. Dance like you won't regret being filmed dancing like that in 20 year's time.
By:Luis Prada|January 25, 2012
25 Raunchy Foods
Everyone says you can use chocolate or oysters as an aphrodisiac, but probably if you bust out weiner-shaped candy or the rest of this stuff, you'll get the message across ever more clearly.
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2012
The Next Big Twilight
If you haven’t heard of Warm Bodies, get ready to be horrified. It’s being touted as Twilight with Zombies and is essentially exactly what that implies – a tween’s level understanding of love as told by a girl and the zombie who fell in love with her.
By:Ian Fortey|January 25, 2012
Why We Can’t Sneeze With Our Eyes Open
As the myth goes, if you sneeze with your eyes open your eyes will pop out of your head. This is has long since been disproven, but it doesn’t change the fact that our eyes do indeed close when we sneeze. You can force them open with your fingers or keep them nice and wide with sheer force of will, no hand required, but our natural inclination is to seal them shut when a sneeze comes hurling out of our heads. For so long I never wondered why we close our eyes when we sneeze…but then I saw a video of Youtube user Jaadalade sneezeing twice with her eyes open and I realized why we unconsciously close our eyes. It’s not out of some fear of our eyes rocketing out of our skulls, it’s a subconscious need to not look like we’re attempting a sudden and deadly attack upon those around us.
By:Luis Prada|January 24, 2012
7 Videos Of Rednecks And Guns
Hey y'all, we decided to get American on your ass today, for no particular reason. You're allowed to do that in an election year. In fact, you're supposed to get as American as you possibly can, at every opportunity during an election year. A little talked about issue this year is gun control. It's one of those things we tend to focus on more when our economy isn't in the toilet. Even when gun control is a hot-button issue, it's only an issue to a section of America. Mostly the middle section, and Ted Nugent fans. Rednecks love guns, is what we're trying to say here. If for some reason you choose not to believe that, then I suggest you watch these videos...
By:Jim Tews|January 24, 2012
GIF Attack!
Man, this site redesign is really messing with my ability to add quips to GIF Attacks. How can I quip if the first GIF is below this sentence and not above it?! It can't be done! It's impossible! F*ck this! I'm outta here! Here's your f*cking GIFS!
By:Luis Prada|January 24, 2012
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
- 5 Cliches That Stand Up Comedians Need to Retire
- Lemmy Asks: Will My Action Figure Have A Penis?
- Leprechaun In Alabama
- 5 Things Your Girlfriend Says and What They Really Mean
- 25 Awesome Homeless Guy Signs
- Letters to Annoying People on Halloween
- Our 700 Billion Dollar Bailout Conspiracy Theory
- Ana Lucia Dominguez
- If Movie Posters Were Honest
- Are Kelly Clarkson's Thighs Fat or The Fattest?
