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Cameron-Diaz-Pictures

Cameron Diaz Pictures

 Where You've Seen Her: There's something about Cameron Diaz, maybe it's her black hair in this picture...or her just being hot not matter what.  She also happens to be in Knight and Day with Tom Cruise which comes out this week.  It looks highly forgettable, but don't forget Cameron went to the same Highschool as Snoop Dogg -- now that's pretty cool. Pointless Quote: "I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it.  I love frogs." 

By:|June 25, 2010


Join-me-Holy-Matrimony

Join me in Holy Matrimony!

 Two Chick Makeout For Baseball (TotalProSports) Good Work, Soldier (HMJ) Captain Kirks Days Numbered in Chicago (NQTC) Keeley Hazell Hotness (TheChive) Courtney: Behind the Love (BuzzFeed) Santana Girl Hotness (GorillaMask) 72 Babes Reenacting Baywatch (Coed) Welcome to Dildo (Manofest) Jersey Shore in 'Friggin Twilight' (FilmDrunk) Team Fortress 2 Awesomeness (Unreality) Dont Eat Australian Pizza (IAmBored) Nicole Scherzinger Hotness (Maxim) Lady Gaga Fails At Being a Bike Dyke (DailyRevelry) Predators Goes International (ScreenJunkies) 

By:|June 24, 2010


holytaco

What’s Cooler Than a Montage? A Painful One

Several BMX Faceplants On Same Jump - Watch more Funny Videos

By:|June 24, 2010


holytaco

Analysis of Terror: I Need a BBW

Today seems to be a fat day on Holy Taco, so it’s appropriate that this video is buzzing on the internet right now amongst the sorts of people who produce and then send this video to others who will watch while experiencing mild discomfort until the very end.We’re pretty accepting people here, one in 10 of our articles are written by a mongloid, and we have nothing against big women. All women are beautiful in their own way, even if that way is sometimes best expressed by being in another room, or even a different state. But this video is a whole lot of something else. Follow along, won’t you?

By:|June 24, 2010


holytaco

Resolved Questions: Spiders

Today’s question comes to us via Yahoo! Answers user Hairy: Hairy writes:Best answer from a Yahoo! Answers user: “lmao, seriously? your vagina isnt a cavern”

By:|June 24, 2010


holytaco

One Word…Genius

Guy Plays Super Mario Bros - Watch more Game Trailers Dodgeball To The Face!!! (TotalProSports)The Hottest Female Ballers Ever (BleacherReport)Naked Rock Band is Amazing (BuzzFeed)Briana Lee Hotness (GorillaMask)Brazilian Booties Are Priceless (Coed)Hot Twins Are Always Hotter (TheChive)The Best Movie Credits of All Time (SuperTremendous)The Hottest Women of Entourage (BroBible)Hunting Down Hippies is Always Fun (AdultSwim)Megan Fox is The Hottest Bitch Around (TotallyCrap)All Hail This Weeks Knockout (CagePotato)How To Make Your Girl Hotter (MadeMan) 

By:|June 24, 2010


25-Truffle-Shuffles

25 Truffle Shuffles

The Truffle Shuffle helped make the Goonies into the cultural phenomenon it was and is. The movie turned 25 this year, so let's celebrate with the exploitation of fat people.

By:|June 24, 2010


holytaco

Fat to the Future

Fast food tells us that we are beautiful. Disagree? How impudent of you. But follow along. The fast food industry relies on you believing you’re wonderful and perfect because if you didn’t believe, on some level, you were not walking perfection, there’s no way you could stomach most of the fatty fat wads that serve as fast food menu items these days. A less than perfect person would look at a deep fried Mars bar wrapped in bacon and shame and think “man, that’s a slippery slope towards sleeping in a tub full of butter, I don’t think I can risk it.” But a more perfect individual, both physically and mentally, would think “meh, live a little. Not like it’ll kill me” when, in point of fact, yes, it probably will kill you. Shit.

By:|June 24, 2010


Anna-Kournikova-Pictures

Anna Kournikova Pictures

 Where You've Seen Her: We all know Anna Kournikova; she proves as long as you're ridiculously hot you can be mediocre at anything, like Pro Tennis.  And since the longest Wimbledon match ever took place yesterday, why not celebrate with some pics of the hottest girl in Tennis? Pointless Quote: "It's really important for me to not forget where I came from." 

By:|June 24, 2010


I-Always-Thought-They-Were-Missing-SomethingUntil-Now

I Always Thought They Were Missing Something…Until Now

 Hot Surfer Girls (TotalProSports) Is LeBron Coming To Chicago? (NQTC) Rihanna is so HOT (HMJ) Japan Has Perfected Flight (IAmBored) Victorian Star Wars (BuzzFeed) Heather Morris Hotness (GorillaMask) Keeley Hazell Hotness (TheChive) Porn vs Real Sex (Coed) Epic Fail Montage (Manofest) Tinsel Korey Hotness (Maxim) Dr. Tobias Manhattan (Unreality) Vanessa Bryant vs Chloe Kardashian (PopCrunch) Christina Henricks, Hot as Usual (Asylum) 'Predators' Goes International (ScreenJunkies)  

By:|June 23, 2010


holytaco

A Look To The Future: Apple

On that fateful day of April 1st, 1976, three men established a company that would later go on to radically alter the landscape of personal tech gadgets. Those three men were Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and some other dude that time has almost completely forgotten. We think his name may have been Oswalt. Or maybe Bill. The point is, no one is sure of what this guy did, but there’s a good chance that he’s now filthy rich, and his cultural obscurity has successfully shielded him from people walking up to him in a grocery store and asking if he can fix their iPhones. Unknown third parties aside, Apple has since grown in to one of the world’s leaders in over-priced-yet-pretty-cool gadgetry. From the iPod to the iPhone to the really big iPod/iPhone Apple calls the iPad, Apple computers has been forged the path in to the future – a future where humanity will be no smarter than it is today, but at least we’ll be able to touch all the fancy 1’s and 0’s that make up the online news papers we won’t be using, and all of the giggly boob’s applications that we will all totally be using all the time. Could this be the stark, immature vision of the future that Apple will help foster? Yes. Undeniably, yes.

By:|June 23, 2010


holytaco

Taxi Driver: Origins

Kid Loses Fight To Speed Bag - Watch more Funny Videos Hot Asians for the World Cup (TotalProSports)Basketballs Hottest Females (BleacherReport)Seinfeld vs Lady Gaga (BuzzFeed)Brianna Lee Hotness (GorillaMask)Emily Skye Anderson Hotness (Coed)The Hottest Gamer Girl Out There (TheChive)Etch-A-Sketches Finest (SuperTremendous)Disney Stories Based On R-Rated Material (Cracked)Hayden Pannetiere Is Tiny (HollywoodTuna)Hot Girls on the Internets (DoubleViking)The Most Disgusting Cocktail You've Ever Tasted (MadeMan)James Toney on Couture (CagePotato) 

By:|June 23, 2010


Maggie-Grace-Pictures

Maggie Grace Pictures

 Where You've Seen Her: Maggie Grace is best known for being the bitchy skank in Lost who got it on with her Stepbrother.  Moral of the story?  Don't get it on with your hot stepsister, because you'll die, and then she'll die, and neither of you will make it through the entire length of one of Televisions most prized shows. Pointless Quote: "High Heels can be sexy.  But before you leave the house, make sure you can walk in them.  I've made that mistake." 

By:|June 23, 2010


Dont-Mess-Draco

Don’t Mess with The Draco

 Hot Asian Soccer Fans (TotalProSports)Joakim Noah: A Day in the Life (NQTC)Girls You Can't Afford (WildAmmo)Best Hot Chick POV Ever (TheChive)Sisterhood of the Fighting Grannies (BuzzFeed)Model Alexia Hotness (GorillaMask)72 Baywatch Babes (Coed)Hot Girl vs Facebook (Manofest)Rachel Maddow: Jedi (Unreality)Beware The Killer Boobs (IAmBored)Nicole Scheringzer Hotness (Maxim)Ashley Tisdale Retires From Being Hot (DailyRevelry)7 Memorable Reunion Movies (ScreenJunkies) 

By:|June 22, 2010


holytaco

Balls Out: The Ballsiest Holy Taco Fan Tribute Contest

We know you love Holy Taco, a quick glimpse at the comments on any article makes it apparent we’re more loved than Jesus and Buddha riding unicorns down mainstreet tossing out prophylactics and dollar coins. But we need constant validation of that love and for that reason we’re presenting you, our fans, with a task. Give unto us a fan tribute. But not just any fan tribute…oh no.The time has come to demonstrate your testicular fortitude, kids. Deep in the recesses of the Holy taco offices we got our hands on the most intense iPhone accessory man has ever dared dream into reality – Phoneballs. They’re balls for your phone. Did you read that? We’ll type it again to spare your eyes the effort of looking left – they are balls for your phone. Look at the balls! 

By:|June 22, 2010


holytaco

The Birth Control Conversations Real Women Have When They’re Not In A Birth Control Commercial

Having a doctor dryly tell you about the risks of using a specific type of birth control can be dull, right ladies? (We’re going to assume you agree and continue on with the article). Birth control companies know this, so they attempted to dress up all the boring health risk and science talk in the form of “normal women” having a highly detailed conversations about the tiny, tiny specifics of a certain brand of contraceptive. This was the stupidest thing these companies had ever done. No human sounds like the women in those commercials do. It’s as if they live in a dystopian sci-fi future, where contraceptive companies plant advertizing robots in to groups of girlfriends to lure them in to their brand. It’s all awkward and far too professional. When real human females gather together, the conversations about birth control sound a little bit different. A little less clean. A little less structured. And a lot more like this…

By:|June 22, 2010


holytaco

It Was Deliberate

Chubby B-Boy's Self KO - Watch more Funny Videos Hot Girls and Vuvuzelas (TotalProSports)Who Has the Hottest Cheerleaders? (BleacherReport)Maury Povich Wants You To Break Up (BuzzFeed)Hot Suzy Hotness (GorillaMask)Soccer Bodypaint Babes (Coed)Super Mario Beatbox (TheChive)The Funniest Movie Credits of All Time (SuperTremendous)The Hottest Infomercial Babes Of All Time (BroBible)Learn About Fear With Steve Brule (AdultSwim)Alessandra Ambrosio is Sexy as Always (TotallyCrap)Fedora Enjoys Feeding Birds (CagePotato)The Best American WAGs of Today (MadeMan)

By:|June 22, 2010


holytaco

The Inner Monologue of a Gold Digger on Her Wedding Night to a 90 Year Old Millionaire

That ceremony took forever. The priest was almost as old as this guy and I think he may have had a stroke during the ring exchange. And what was that smell? It was like menthol cigarettes and baby powder. Is that the smell of death? God, I hope I never get old.Alright, just gotta man up here. This is it. The last speed bump on my road to easy street. If I go through with this, I’m set. I’ll be rich. And how bad could it be? I packed two bottles of Scope, a toothbrush, bleach and some Magic Erasers. It’ll be fine. I’ve done worse things, probably.

By:|June 22, 2010


holytaco

How to Impress Women With Your iPhone

 This guest article was written by Dan Seitz, whose iPhone gets more chicks than he does. The latest iPhone has just been debuted at Apple's Worldwide Developer's Conference, and it is, of course, smaller, smarter, and sexier than the last iPhone.  If the old iPhone was Amgelina Jolie, the new iPhone is a midget Angelina Jolie with a PhD. It's that sexy  part this article will be concerned with: the new iPhone might as well come with a panty-removal app, if you know how to use it.  If not, there’s always Tetris.  But try these steps first, just for kicks.

By:|June 22, 2010


holytaco

25 Chicks in Granny Panties

You know what looks better on a woman than a nice, big pair of granny panties?  Pretty much anything.  But some chicks choose to rock them anyway. 

By:|June 22, 2010