The Morning Jolt: Hilarious in Norway
This is Norwegian comedian Daniel Simonsen. His act is pretty funny, but the delivery is fantastic. Yes, I realize no one likes watching stand up comedy online.
By:Ian Fortey|May 8, 2012
The Walking Carl: Chapter 6
Found a stack of cool old magazines today, in a little shack in the woods. I think it was a whack shack because this is a ton of porn, I was surprised. Not just because it’s so much porn, but because they apparently still publish porn in magazine form. Or they used to, anyway. I guess no one around here had wi fi.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Security System
Seems like maybe this dude just opened up shop in a bad neighborhood, if all of this is really necessary.
By:Ian Fortey|May 7, 2012
Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: May 4th
Yes, this is Silver Screen Scoop, but we talked it over with the janitorial staff in the office and no one liked that name as it really didn’t cut to the heart of the fact that we’re just reviewing movies based on what commercials made us think. Anyway, for the May 4th weekend, we’ve got some winners for you. Let’s review!
By:Ian Fortey|May 4, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Russian News
Don't speak Russian? It's cool. Just watch for about 27 seconds.
By:Ian Fortey|May 4, 2012
This Mom Tanned with her 5 Year Old: An Interview
You may have heard of Patricia Krentcil, the 44 year old New Jersey mother who was arrested for taking her 5 year old daughter to a tanning salon. We sent our man Matt Lauer out to find her (he just followed the smell of mesquite) to conduct a quick interview on our behalf.
By:Ian Fortey|May 3, 2012
The Morning Jolt: The Last Creed Fan
I actually only watched this to the point where he said his own name, ad that's when I decided to put it on the site.
By:Ian Fortey|May 3, 2012
5 Girls You’ll Meet at the Avengers Premiere
This Friday is the premiere of Marvel’s The Avengers, the biggest thing to happen to comic book movies since Dolph Lundgren made us all fall in love with the Punisher. The movie is sure to be huge and will rake in more money than any of us are ever likely to see in our lifetimes, but another thing it will draw in is ladies. Oh yeah.
By:Ian Fortey|May 2, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Rex Velvet
Remember Phoenix Jones, Seattle's very own super hero? Looks like he has a villain. A villain with production values.
By:Ian Fortey|May 2, 2012
How to Start a Third Political Party
So, you’ve decided to ruin the political system in America, good for you. Running for office is never an easy task, and trying to not be either a Democrat or a Republican is basically suicide. And hey, for you Canadians, try running on a Green Party platform. Loser.
By:Ian Fortey|May 1, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Not a Beach
If you can find a stupider story today, laugh at it.
By:Ian Fortey|May 1, 2012
If Your Ex-Girlfriend Is a Dentist, She Will Pull Out Your Teeth
Anna Mackowiak, a dentist in Poland, just pulled what has to be one of the most horrifying, yet impressive, acts of post-break up revenge you’ll probably hear of any time soon.
By:Luis Prada|April 30, 2012
The Walking Carl: Chapter 5
I have a serious problem. Remember zombie Stephen Hawking from last week? Well, I thought I took care of him with a Roman candle, but I guess I just scorched his head a bit. And for whatever reason he seems to have really enjoyed it because he won’t leave me alone. He must have followed my trail somehow because two days ago I was walking through the woods just goofing around and I hear this quiet little “unngghh!” so I turned and there he is!
By:Ian Fortey|April 30, 2012
Who Will Go #1 In The 2034 NFL Draft?
Folks, we’re all currently steeped deep within the burly, possibly HGH raging heart of the NFL draft, a glorious time of year when we watch college kids walk on to a stage to put on a hat that will no longer fit them once they become stars and their heads grow bigger. The draft may be underway, and players are already joining their respective teams, but it’s never too early to speculate on who will be drafted first overall in future drafts. But rather than debate who will go number-one in the 2013 draft, let’s look a little further ahead, way ahead, to the 2034 NFL draft. Which babies of today will be making the headlines 22-years from now?
By:Luis Prada|April 27, 2012
Silver Screen Scoop: Grandpa Edition
My typing hand cramped up on me this week as a result of extensive and exhaustive corn shucking, so I had to get my grandfather Howard to put together the silver screen scoop for the week. Having never heard of any of these movies owing to not having cable at home, I showed him the trailers online.
By:Ian Fortey|April 27, 2012
The Morning Jolt: The Latest Threat to Privacy
Remember SOPA? Here's his cousin CISPA. The government wants to know everything you do. Even if you never do anything wrong, don't you feel uneasy with someone picking through all your stuff, just in case?
By:Ian Fortey|April 27, 2012
The GIF Hole
One time I met a GIF on a lonely road at night and gave it a ride. We talked about our family and friends and work and whatever and eventually we came to an old farm house where I dropped the GIF off. The next day I saw the GIF had left its watch in the car so I drove to the farm house to drop it off. An old woman answered the door and I showed her the watch and asked if the GIF was home as I had picked it up the night before and given it a ride. Her eyes welled up with tears as she took the watch and told me that yes, it was her GIFs watch, but that the GIF had died 20 years ago on the very road where I had picked it up. Police said it was hitchhiking when it was hit by a drunk driver and it never made it home!
By:Ian Fortey|April 26, 2012
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
- 25 Zombie Girls
- 10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don't
- Denise Milani
- The Anatomy of a Fast Food Restaurant
- The 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity
- Holy Taco Goes To Budweiser
- The 9 Worst Roommates You Will Ever Have
- What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You
- The 5 Worst Places to Endure a Fart
- 5 Versus Movies I’d Like to See
