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The Morning Jolt: Opiate Suppositories

Louis CK on Conan. You can't go wrong.

By:|November 19, 2012


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: November 16th

Oh man, this is some kind of week at the movies. It’s like Hollywood got drunk and woke up the next day and couldn’t explain what happened, there was just this crazy shit going on. And now we are the beneficiaries of it. Not sure what I mean? Good thing there’s a whole rest of this article to go.

By:|November 16, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Dumb Ways to Die

This is the most adorable and morbid train safety video ever.

By:|November 16, 2012

1Mystery Box

The Fleshlight Box Incident: Aftermath

The following is the voicemail my grandmother left me last night, transcribed for your enjoyment.

By:|November 15, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Boys Night In

More BritaNick today because they make me laugh.

By:|November 15, 2012


25 Things a Straight Guy is Afraid are Gay

The recent election in the US and the legalization of gay marriage in yet more states has made great strides for equality as it relates to sexuality. Back in the day, gay was the worst insult you could sling at someone on the schoolyard.

By:|November 14, 2012


The Morning Jolt: The Dinner Party

Tonight's dinner is betrayal plus also perogies and maybe corn. Betrayal corn!

By:|November 14, 2012


Help Jim Tews for the Love of God!

Hey everyone, remember Jim Tews? He used to write for Holy Taco until our secretary took out a restraining order against him and he wasn't allowed within 1000 yards of the building. 1000? That's a lot, Jim! Your ether-soaked rag will never knock anyone out from that far away?

By:|November 13, 2012

Mystery Box

The Fleshlight Box Incident

Not so long ago, the good people at Fleshlight got a hold of me and asked me if I’d like to review one of their newest products, the Alexis Texas Fleshlight, because I’m a journalist who reviews wang sleeves and then shares the results with you, my loyal fanbase. And I’m really good at it.

By:|November 13, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Ask Propecia

Crack, it's the answer to everything.

By:|November 13, 2012


Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead Recap (S3 E5)

Last week sure was intense wasn’t it? Can they keep up the intensity this week and, if so, does that mean another shitty cast member has to die? Oh man, I don’t know yet!

By:|November 12, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Car Bows

No one likes you, rich people.

By:|November 12, 2012


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Nov. 9th

Last week Wreck-it Ralph wrecked the box office and I actually saw it. Yes, I went to see a children’s movie, I am enlightened. But it had John C Reilly and Sarah Silverman so I assumed it would be good, and it wasn’t bad actually. I’m pleased with my choice even though I bought nachos and they were stale as shit.

By:|November 9, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Farts in Italian

I will laugh at every fart, every time.

By:|November 9, 2012


How to Fail an SNL Monologue

Saturday Night Live has been on TV since pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock and observed topical humor about Pocahontas and beavers before screaming “live from New Amsterdam it’s Saturday Night” at about 6 PM to a handful of Puritans who didn’t much care for the aggressive nature of that proclamation.

By:|November 8, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Farming

Holy shit, chickens are made entirely of chicken.

By:|November 8, 2012


5 Most Hated Moustaches in the World

It’s November and that means it’s also Movember by nothing but sheer coincidence. Not sure what Movember is? Well then you weren’t reading HT last year or the year before. But whatever – it’s about dudes growing moustaches to raise awareness for your nuts.

By:|November 7, 2012


The Morning Jolt: The Elegant Ladies of Melbourne

She's a charmer, she is.

By:|November 7, 2012

World of warcraft

5 Ideas for the Next World of Warcraft Expansion

Warcraft, the Mists of Pandaria, has been live for just over a month, and that means it’s as new and cool as Frogger. More or less. It’s time to look forward now and delve into the future of the internet’s oldest and most vaunted MMO. What can the lizard development team do next to keep players interested?

By:|November 6, 2012


Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead Recap (S3 E4)

After last week’s journey to meet the Governor, this week we’re back at the prisoner with a dead deer and two hungry zombies as someone shuffles around the prison yard leaving zombie treats because zombies go for carrion like ET going after Reese’s Pieces, apparently. Who’s this grisly deer hunter anyway and is anyone going to be squealing like a pig? I have no idea, the intro was very short. But whoever it is has great aim because they plunked two zombies right in the melon with a rock. Good shot.

By:|November 5, 2012