The Morning Jolt: Nickstarter
I would have done this myself ages ago if I knew how to use a camera.
By:Ian Fortey|April 24, 2012
The Old People Mad Men Characters Will Eventually Become
The much lauded AMC series Mad Men features a number of fascinating and troubled characters that existed in a time of great civic and cultural change -- America in the 1960s. It was a time when the old guard was challenged by a rapidly and suddenly changing world, the ripples of which can still be felt and seen today. Assuming these characters survived to see old age in the year 2012, what kind of old people would they be? Let’s find out.
By:Luis Prada|April 23, 2012
The Walking Carl: Chapter 4
Oh my God, diary, you are not going to believe what just happened. I wish I could tell people, but all they’ll focus on is how I hotwired an ATV I found on a farm and sorta drove 50 miles down the road. But for real, I totally found the zombie Stephen Hawking, it was amazing. The Hawking Dead! I wish there was anyone around to appreciate how clever that is. Took me like 15 minutes to think of it.
By:Ian Fortey|April 23, 2012
Study: Men Prefer Pink Vaginas To Red Ones
As a kid, if I had known that being a scientist not only meant being in a lab filled with chalkboards and bubbling cauldrons of smoking green liquid, but also being able to ask other guys what kinds of vagains they prefer, I would have immediately put away my White Ranger sword with the talking white lion on the hilt, and with it my dream to grow up to be a Power Ranger. I would have lived a life of science! According to some science-types that conducted some science on vagains, men prefer their vaginas pink as opposed to red, which is a question absolutely no one thought about asking, and is a preference I’ll be most men have never thought about until now.
By:Luis Prada|April 20, 2012
Holy Taco’s Silver Screen Scoop
It’s the weekend and that means there’s a whole new crop of films coming out to entertain you while you eat $5 popcorn and drink $5 Mountain Dew and gorge yourself on $5 Milk Duds. Sweet. But what movie should you see? With no other websites around recommending what movies to watch, HT is here to help you make that difficult choice. And, unlike other movie sites (which we just acknowledged don’t exist so please don’t Google them), we don’t pretend to have seen all these movies, we’re just going to give you what seems like the gist. Most reviewers are scumbag liars anyway, just ask anyone at Screenjunkies or Filmdrunk. All scumbags.
By:Ian Fortey|April 20, 2012
The Morning Jolt: 3 Second Rule
You may have seen this video already but we need to save it here on Holy Taco so future generations can come back and see that we posted this and then said "Jesus...seriously?"
By:Ian Fortey|April 20, 2012
The Nut Shot Conspiracy
I am about to betray mankind. When I say mankind I legitimately mean men. I am turning my back, ever so briefly, on dudes. Sorry, bro. This needs to be done. Very few people have ever kicked or been kicked in the nuts.
By:Ian Fortey|April 19, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Pottery Date
Every hidden cam shows exists to make you feel like a complete ass. Still, this one was with hot chicks, so that's enjoyable.
By:Ian Fortey|April 19, 2012
Mohammad Ashan Is The Stupidest Terrorist Ever
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find it hard to believe members of the Taliban were intelligent enough to fight back when U.S. forces landed on their soil. Every so often a bit of news comes out that makes you wonder if the people we were fighting didn’t have some kind of major brain damage. Take, for example, Mohammad Ashan.
By:Luis Prada|April 18, 2012
The 7 Sandwiches of Shame
Remember when you were a child? Neither does your absentee father! Ha ha! Wait, no, that was uncalled for. My dad left, too. He joined the circus to “make for hump” with the bearded lady and never came back. We both have trauma. Let’s start over. Remember when you were a child? Neither does…I mean…yes. As a kid, lunch was one of the most important times during the school day. It was the longest recess, the best time to socialize and a chance to refuel your sugar high with Twinkies and delicious Sloppy Joes or whatever. Kids still eat that shit, right?
By:Ian Fortey|April 18, 2012
The Morning Jolt: The Bathroom Incident
This is actually kind of a sad story until you see that their last name is Skidmore. That's where I lost it.
By:Ian Fortey|April 18, 2012
‘That Can Be My Next Tweet’ Tweets For You, You Lazy Bastards
Tweeting is hard, you guys. So very hard. I mean, to deliver unto you nothing but the finest one-liners (all of which you can find @holytaco) we have to labor for, literally, seconds as we think up bullshit that makes us laugh. And then, on top of that, we have to hit the “send” button. Christ, do you people realize how much work we put in to typing thoughts that are less than 140 characters, just to make you smile when you’re dropping a deuce? Probably more work than you deserve. [CropperCapture[1]]
By:Luis Prada|April 17, 2012
How To Tuesday: How to Overcome a Hostile Alien Attack
So you’ve decided not to die at the hands of creepy, tentacle invaders, good for you! If Hollywood is to be believed, and Hollywood is never wrong, then aliens are climbing over each other to get to earth. One in ten of those aliens wants to hug us and eat delicious candy, while the other nine have yet to decide on the best course of action – hump us or kill us
By:Ian Fortey|April 17, 2012
The Morning Jolt: I Just Sold Instagram!
Everything about this seems pretty much right.
By:Ian Fortey|April 17, 2012
Tupac’s Hologram Performed At Coachcella. The Future Is Now. And It’s Wearing Saggy Jeans.
It must have been a mind melting experience being at Coachcella this past weekend, especially if you were on drugs. Not only did you get to see performance from Snoop Dog and his cavalcade of surprise guests, including Dr. Dre, Whiz Kalifa, Warren G., and Eminem, but you also saw the triumphant return of a man that’s been dead since 1996 – Tupac Shakur.
By:Luis Prada|April 16, 2012
The Walking Carl: Chapter 3
Found a house full of zombies up the street this morning. Mostly they ignored me because I’m not essential to the plot unless everyone knows I’m missing, which they didn’t at the time. It’s kind of nice, actually, unless they notice I’m gone in the middle of something cool, and then it’s like a spotlight hits me. Remember that zombie in the mud that got Dale? Wouldn’t have caused any troubles if no one stopped to wonder where I was. Oh well, spilled milk.
By:Ian Fortey|April 16, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Judge Judy is Ridiculous
If you watch this whole thing you'll learn they're straight, he lit a bird on fire, he killed the cat, someone's an artist and the whole thing including that one guy's life, is ridiculous.
By:Ian Fortey|April 16, 2012
Game Of Thrones Makes Me Want To Watch A Child Die
My biggest gripe of the show and the books so far is that Joffrey isn’t dead yet.
By:Luis Prada|April 13, 2012
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