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Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead Recap (S3 E4)

After last week’s journey to meet the Governor, this week we’re back at the prisoner with a dead deer and two hungry zombies as someone shuffles around the prison yard leaving zombie treats because zombies go for carrion like ET going after Reese’s Pieces, apparently. Who’s this grisly deer hunter anyway and is anyone going to be squealing like a pig? I have no idea, the intro was very short. But whoever it is has great aim because they plunked two zombies right in the melon with a rock. Good shot.

By:|November 5, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Let Me Bang!

Do it, Bro. Do it.

By:|November 5, 2012


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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Nov. 2nd

This week looks not too shay at the old box office after last week’s paltry effort. Did anyone at all go see Silent Hill Revelations? Of course not. Why would you? It’s a movie you watch on Netflix on a Wednesday morning when you’re hung over. So that’s something to look forward to. Anyway, in the meantime, here’s some new stuff for ya. Yay!

By:|November 2, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: GTA Cops

This should have stopped being funny after a few seconds, but I laughed the whole time.

By:|November 2, 2012


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It Came from the WalMart $5 Bin: Scary or Die

Look at the art on the box for this DVD, how could you not buy it? It features an evil clown. I couldn’t resist, despite not knowing anything else about the film. I refused to even read the back. Shut up and take my $5.

By:|November 1, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Literacy

Learning to read is a b-b-b-bitch.

By:|November 1, 2012


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8 Simple Two-Step Last Minute Costumes

In a bind for Halloween? Need a costume but have no time or materials to make your own? Here are some unique and simple costumes that will make you a stand out and only require two simple ingredients to put together! Man, Holy Taco, you so helpful!

By:|October 31, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Dungeons and Dragons and Bitches

Dungeons & Dragons & Bitches from Peter Atencio on Vimeo. Where the club at?

By:|October 31, 2012


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How to Get Rid of Acne

Say, are you riddled with zits? Do people try to hang their keys on your forehead? Ha ha, that’s preposterous. Anyway, follow these steps to clear skin and easy living. And let’s say hassle-free sex, that’ll probably happen.

By:|October 30, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Office Prank

We used to play this joke in the office all the time.

By:|October 30, 2012


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Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead Recap (S3 E3)

After a preview letting us known that Daryl had a bigger hillbilly brother back in season one, who has one less hand thanks to Rick, the show starts with a helicopter crash. How and why is anyone in a helicopter in the zombie apocalypse? Shut up, that’s how.

By:|October 29, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Dumbass Fight Club

I like that they apparently wind up and take a few steps into each punch, as is the normal way to punch.

By:|October 29, 2012


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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Oct 26

Paranormal Activity 4 was the top movie at the box office last week but remember, George Bush was elected twice so there’s no accounting for the unexplainable. I’m not criticizing you for liking those movies, I’m just saying those movies are terrible and you like terrible movies. It’s science. I didn’t make them bad.

By:|October 26, 2012


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5 (plus 1) More Big Announcements from Donald Trump

As you know, we’re close friends with Donald Trump which is why I so freely and openly call him a shithead and other such colorful phrases on twitter all the time. ALL THE TIME. Because we can kid like that.

By:|October 25, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: ThanksKilling

Here's the trailer for ThanksKilling 3. Did you see ThanksKilling 2? No, you didn't, because part 3 was so big they literally skipped part 2. That's not even a joke, they really skipped part 2.

By:|October 25, 2012


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Will.i.am and Fergie Explain the History of Halloween

The following contains actual (not actually) lyrics to a Black Eyed Peas song. You have been warned.

By:|October 24, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Farts are Funny

Louis CK is my Graceland.

By:|October 24, 2012


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The Saddest Email of All Time

Every day I get dozens of emails that end up in my junk folder because they suck so much, mindless technology even understands how little I want to read them. Once or twice a week I will scan my junk mail, just in case something slipped through the cracks. Recently as I was doing just that, I came across this subject line – “Video: Mario Lop...” It could only be Mario Lopez, right? But why would I ever get an email about Mario Lopez? What on Earth is Mario Lopez ever up to that could possibly be of interest to me?

By:|October 23, 2012


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Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead recap (S 3 E 2)

To start, no, I didn’t recap the premier last week because I did something else. I am fickle and unpredictable like a northern wind, or a high class escort on too many anti-depressants.

By:|October 22, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: A Thousand Elephants

You know, that really was elegant.

By:|October 22, 2012