The Morning Jolt: Russian Highway Fun
No one here speaks Russian, so we can't confirm if the guys in this video remark on crapping their pants or not.
By:Ian Fortey|December 16, 2011
Classroom Fail
Kids Really Hate Class - Watch MoreFunny Videos Who Are These Yogurt Cheapskates (truTV) Carly Craig Hotness (Maxim) One Scary Ass Christmas (JackFM) Hot Girl Shows How To Make A Bed (TotallyCrap) The Very Best Albums of 2011 (Nerve) The Worst Names For Music Groups (Clutch) The Sexy Jaro Sisters (Coed) Breaking Bad NOT Nominated For a Golden Globe? (FunnyCrave) The Weirdest Foot You've Ever Seen (LulzShirts) Booze And Chicks (DogandPony) Guys We Wish We Were in 2011 (Guyism) The Most Ridiculous Versus Movies Ever (PopCrunch) Aida Yespica Hotness (RegretfulMorning) Meet The Christmas Porcupine (TheDailyWhat) Viral Fads of 2011 (CampusSocialite) Lily Aldrigde Hotness (DJMick) Notorious SIRI (Heavy) Ashley C Hotness (GorillaMask) Amy Childs Hotness (DoubleViking) The Hottest Babe You'll See Today (DoubleViking) Hi Res Prometheus Poster (FilmDrunk) Brooke Lynette Hotness (CagePotato)
By:admin|December 15, 2011
GIF Attack!
This GIF might be the new Holy Taco mascot. It's too perfect. A serial killer throwing a taco in to the mouth of a child wizard with a mustache and a sombrero. Yup. That's us.
By:Luis Prada|December 15, 2011
Improving Your Life Story With Facebook’s New Timeline
image via mashable.com Hey loser, wanna look better online? Sure, we all do. Thanks to Facebook's new "Timeline" mode, you totally can! A lot of people are bitching and whining about it because it lacks "privacy" or something. You don't have privacy anymore. Get over it. The only information Facebook will make public is the information you've provided them. So just provide them with more information that they can make public. The new Timeline layout is officially available to everyone now and it's Facebook's attempt to make your page tell everyone your life story. If you're a Holy Taco writer, then there's a good chance your life story stinks. But this is the internet and you've got the power to change that. Finally.
By:Jim Tews|December 15, 2011
Christmas Freakout!
Christmas Carol Freakout In Computer Lab - Watch MoreFunny Videos Dude, This Sucks! (truTV) Freida Pinto Hotness (Maxim) Offbeat Holiday Party Ideas (Ranker) Miley Cyrus Shows Her Cleavage (Popoholic) The Cycle of Presidential Books (TheSmokingJacket) Graduate School For Morons (FunnyCrave) Athletic Girls In Short Shorts (RegretfulMorning) Federica Ridolfi Hotness (TCMag) Alien Abduction Fail (LulzPics) Craziest Dubstep I’ve Ever Seen (BroBible) Fox News and Obama? (TheDailyWhat) Leilani Dowding Hotness (CelebSlam) Movie Characters Who Should’ve Been Arrested (Guyism) Aylen Alvarez Hotness (GorillaMask) 25 Hilarious Pugs (SuperBooyah) Robot Chicken’s Twelve Clips of Christmas (AdultSwim) How To Impress Women (IAmBored) Rachel McAdams Hotness (ScreenJunkies) Worst In Show Looks…Amazing (FilmDrunk)
By:admin|December 15, 2011
Have Yourself a Scenester Christmas: A Christmas Primer
It’s Christmas time again, (or Annual Non-Denominational Gift-Giving Season, if you’re one of those enemies of FOX News) and that means you need to start putting asses in seats or something very much like that. Do you want to have the same boring, white bread (or brown bread. Or Naan bread, we’re not making assumptions) Christmas you always have? Of course not. Best to throw the old crap aside in favor of a new, awesome scene Christmas. Yes, there’s a scene for every taste out there, from neopunk rockabilly hipster to steampunk Civil War recreationists to those dingleberries who think they’re vampires. Because we’re so helpful, we’ve prepared this handy guide book so you can adapt your regular Christmas into a scene Christmas! Yay!
By:Ian Fortey|December 15, 2011
The Morning Jolt: Mad Lizard Skills
Dude must have been pissed and hungry at the end of this.
By:Ian Fortey|December 15, 2011
The Best of ’11
Movies of 2011: Supercut - Watch MoreFunny Videos A Tribute to Vicki (truTV) Anna Faris Hotness (Maxim) Introducing...Nerve Dating (Nerve) Nikita Esco Hotness (Coed) World Leaders Who Will NOT Attend Kanye's Funeral (Clutch) Matrix Brain Downloads Might Actually Be Real (FunnyCrave) Maxim's Hometown Hotties Video (Linkiest) You Can Download Information now (DogAndPony) The Simpsons...If You Were Tripping Balls (RegretfulMorning) The Russian Techno Goblin (TotallyCrap) 24 Adorable Dead Animals (PopCrunch) Why Your Major Is Useless (Thes4p) 40K Goes To TACA (JackFM) Forever Alone? (LulzPics) How To Get It In There (CampusSocialite) If Masturbation Were Illegal (Guyism) Expendables 2 Teaser (TheDailyWhat) Yoga...For Black People? (Forkparty) Olivia Wilde Hotness (MoeJackson) Did Dee Dee Ramone Go Home? (Heavy) Daniel Day Lewis On Set (FilmDrunk) Tiffani Hotness (GorillaMask) Christmas Gifts For The Recession (egoTV) Annalyne McCord Hotness (HollywoodTuna) The Hottest Girls Ever (DoubleViking) Overeem and his Brass Balls (CagePotato)
By:admin|December 14, 2011
The Caps Lock/Spell Check Conspiracy
I don’t believe many, or any, of the more common conspiracy theories out there. The Illuminati, 9/11 was an inside job, all the Kennedy assassination stuff – it’s all just too far out there for me to think any of it is even remotely possible. But there is one that I believe wholeheartedly. You may not have heard of it. That might be because I think I’m the first to have come up with it, but maybe not. There’s also a good chance it’s wrong, but like most conspiracy theorists, it just feels right. I firmly believe there is a secret, underground, and immensely powerful syndicate of computer hardware and software manufacturers that includes the likes of Apple, Dell, HP, and Windows, and so on, that have colluded for one very specific purpose: to make sure that whenever you press the caps lock key you are not only turn caps lock on but also turning spell check off. Have you ever noticed while caps lock is on how all of the words you type are spelled correctly? This doesn’t mean you’re a super-genius that has learned to be a better speller overnight. You’re still an idiot, just like the rest of us. You still put two M’s in tomorrow for reasons that you will never understand. And don’t lie to yourself to protect your pride. You know that without spell check on everything you’ve ever typed could be used in a court of law as clear evidence of your mental disabilities.
By:Luis Prada|December 14, 2011
GIF Attack!
I have to say it. I don’t want to, but I posted this GIF as the header image and were all thinking it, so I’m going to take the hit for the team. Here goes… What if you put your dick in it? There. I said it. We can now all go on with our lives feeling as though a great weight has been lifted. Well, you can. I have to live with the shame of being the person that said that. I’m like Jesus just with references to putting your dick in things.
By:Luis Prada|December 14, 2011
McDonald’s Commercials You’ve Probably Never Seen
The McDonald's items you're used to aren't universal you xenophobe. There's other countries out there, and they all have McDonald's. The only difference is, their McDonald's sells some seriously weird stuff, and sometimes they even make commercials for that stuff...
By:Jim Tews|December 14, 2011
Tebow Wins
Tim Tebow - "All He Does Is Win" (Autotune) - Watch MoreFunny Videos Rollin’ Thunder! (truTV) Ana De La Reguera (Maxim) Chewbacca On Glee (Nerve) Man With Mullet Whistles Beautifully (JackFM) Denise Milani’s Facebook Pics (Coed) 2011 Hometown Hotties (Linkiest) The Hottest Video Game Babes (Clutch) Movie Dolphins You Want To Harpoon (PopCrunch) Malia Obama Is Growing Up (FunnyCrave) Worlds Oldest Dog Passes Away (TheDailyWhat) Herman Cain Quotes Pokemon Movie (DogAndPony) Praying Mantis vs Bird (LulzPics) Diana Morales Hotness (DjMick) You Know You’re At a Work Holiday Party When…(Guyism) The Best College Holiday Gifts (CampusSocialite) Mr Beans Daughter Is HOT! (RegretfulMorning) Meet The Hip Hop Horse (ForkParty) Carrie Underwood Hotness (MoeJackson) The Worst Glamour Shots of All Time (Heavy) Cynthia Hotness (GorillaMask) This Cat Loves Car Rides (EgoTV) Claudia Galanti Hotness (HollywoodTuna) Hottie On The Beach (DoubleViking) The Lorax: Brainwashing For Kids (FilmDrunk) When Lil Evil Was Born…(CagePotato)
By:admin|December 14, 2011
25 Terrible Gifts to Give This Christmas
Gift giving is never easy, especially if you don't really care. But guaranteed, if you celebrate Christmas, you've gotten at least one thing on this list before and weren't super stoked to see it, either. This year, try to void giving any of this - break the vicious cycle.
By:Ian Fortey|December 14, 2011
Dear God Particle: Holy Taco’s Wishlist for an All Powerful Subatomic Theoretical Particle
Earlier this week, nerds were abuzz with the news that scientists at CERN (which probably doesn’t stand for Crap Eric Roberts Needs) had a big announcement about the Higgs boson. In the media they call this the God particle, for pretty much no reason. Even if you know nothing about physics at all, what you need to know about the Higgs boson is that it and God have nothing in common, unless your God is the sort of God that just has a lot of mass and is a cohesive force that somehow vaguely holds the universe together in a sort of loose framework. By this definition your God could also be a poorly made Jell-O mold. Anyway, the announcement was a bit of a letdown as it turns out the boson was not discovered, it’s just that the scientists are pretty confident they know where it will be if it does exist and that, within a year or so, they will be able to conclusively say whether or not it’s a real thing. In very stupid terms, this was like attending a Jersey Shore press conference expecting to hear that Snooki had passed a standardized test only to find out that she had, in fact, properly read the directions to get her to the school where the test was being given, and she will probably make her way there sometime this winter. Still, we like to think the Higgs boson will not only be discovered, but it will surprise everyone by living up to its God moniker and performing miracles. Physics allows for that, right? Doesn’t matter, it soon will. And we’re hopping on that bandwagon. God particle, Holy Taco supplicates itself before you and asks that you perform these miracles for us. Please and thank you.
By:Ian Fortey|December 14, 2011
The Morning Jolt: Irish Jersey Shore
It's Irish Jersey Shore. Dead serious.
By:Ian Fortey|December 14, 2011
Hooters on the Mind
"Congratulations On Your Big Hooters" - Watch MoreFunny Videos How Much For This Boob? (truTV) The Best Internet Lists of 2011 (Nerve) The Truth of Pepper Spray Cop (JackFM) Behold, The Worlds Largest Kit Kat Bar! (Coed) Izabel Goulart Hotness (Linkiest) The Most Psychotic Movie Teachers Ever (PopCrunch) Sophie Reade Gets Messy (TotallyCrap) Fundamentalists...Get a Life (FunnyCrave) The Dr. Dre Headphone Guide (Thes4p) Someone Steal This Banksy (TheDailyWhat) Austin Powers: The Musical (DoganPony) Naked...At The Gym (LulzShirts) Aylen Alvarez Hotness (DJMick) The Manliest Fictional Characters Of All Time (Guyism) Sexy Santa Gallery Guide (TheSmokingJacket) The Simpsons...If You Were Tripping Ballz (RegretfulMorning) Jennifer Nicole Lee Hotness (MoeJackson) The Shark Song (Heavy) Ashley C Hotness (GorillaMask) Drunks vs Highs (egoTV) Aida Yespica Hotness (HollywoodTuna) Hottest Pic of the Day (DoubleViking) Is James Franco Dicknose? (FilmDrunk) Britney Palmer Hotness (CagePotato)
By:admin|December 13, 2011
Attention United Kingdom Contact Lens Users: WTF Is Wrong With You?!
I’m not perfect. Like all of us, I can be better. Sometimes I’ll fall asleep with my glasses on, and maybe every once in a while I’ll adjust my contacts after giving my wiener a nice, firm stretch-n-pull to get them all loosey-goosey on a hot day. But never, under any circumstances, have I ever had an emergency contact lens situation in which my contacts needed to be cleaned, in which they needed some form of moisture, and I turned to beer, baby oil, Coke, petroleum jelly, lemonade, fruit juice, or butter, to provide said moisture. Now, for many of you contact lens users out there, you may hear a list like that and assume that no one would be dumb enough to replace sterilized contact lens solution with any of those substances, even in an emergency situation. Well, apparently, you’ve never met a contact lens user from the U.K. If you’re having trouble remember if you have, ask yourself this: have I ever met a person with a silly, kind of jaunty accent whose eyes appeared to be Kool-Aid stained like the mouths of so many trailer park babies?
By:Luis Prada|December 13, 2011
GIF Attack!
Today's GIF Attack contains two GIFs that prominently feature the word f*ck. Back in my day, GIFs didn't need to be crass to be funny. A GIF of a man getting hit in the dick by a pair of angry tits was wholesome internet entertainment for the entire family.
By:Luis Prada|December 13, 2011
Thanks For Sleeping With Derek Jeter, Enjoy This Gift Basket!
Yankees superstar Derek Jeter is sleeping with tons of hot women, then he's kicking them to the curb. That's not surprising at all. I know a lot of guys who don't play for the New York Yankees that do the exact same thing. Jeter steps it up a notch, though. When he sends supermodels high-heeling out of his place, he has a car service come get them. When they get in the car, waiting for them is a gift basket full of goodies! Like they were just members of a bridal party or something, or they just attended some sort of retail convention.
By:Jim Tews|December 13, 2011
Sayonara Silo
Silo Destruction Fail - Watch MoreFunny Videos Dude, This Sucks! (truTV) Freida Pinto Hotness (Maxim) Offbeat Holiday Party Ideas (Ranker) Miley Cyrus Shows Her Cleavage (Popoholic) The Cycle of Presidential Books (TheSmokingJacket) Graduate School For Morons (FunnyCrave) Athletic Girls In Short Shorts (RegretfulMorning) Federica Ridolfi Hotness (TCMag) Alien Abduction Fail (LulzPics) Craziest Dubstep I've Ever Seen (BroBible) Fox News and Obama? (TheDailyWhat) Leilani Dowding Hotness (CelebSlam) Movie Characters Who Should've Been Arrested (Guyism) Aylen Alvarez Hotness (GorillaMask) 25 Hilarious Pugs (SuperBooyah) Robot Chicken's Twelve Clips of Christmas (AdultSwim) How To Impress Women (IAmBored) Rachel McAdams Hotness (ScreenJunkies) Worst In Show Looks...Amazing (FilmDrunk)
By:admin|December 13, 2011
Daily Links
Best of Taco
Holy links
Popular Tacos
- 5 Cliches That Stand Up Comedians Need to Retire
- Lemmy Asks: Will My Action Figure Have A Penis?
- Leprechaun In Alabama
- 5 Things Your Girlfriend Says and What They Really Mean
- 25 Awesome Homeless Guy Signs
- Letters to Annoying People on Halloween
- Our 700 Billion Dollar Bailout Conspiracy Theory
- Ana Lucia Dominguez
- If Movie Posters Were Honest
- Are Kelly Clarkson's Thighs Fat or The Fattest?
