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The Morning Jolt: Slow Churned

Just like Grandma used to make.

By:|October 15, 2012


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: October 12th

Taken 2 owned the box office last week despite every critic hating that movie with a fierce passion. What they didn’t know, however, was that everyone loves Liam Neeson. They really do. He was Oscar Schindler, for God’s sake. Don’t even try to compete with that. Anyway, on to the new stuff.

By:|October 12, 2012


Celebrate Pie Season with Pie

Fall is in full swing and if you live in a part of the world in which leaves turn colors, they turned colored. Some people find that beautiful. For the rest of us it means we have to rake the damn lawn again. Oh good, the tree shat everywhere. Wonderful.

By:|October 11, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Locked in the Bathroom

Totally worth it just for the Bane scene.

By:|October 11, 2012


G vs E

Reading. No eye contact. G: Have you been sending letters out recently? E: Yes, I have been catching up on my correspondence, why do you ask?

By:|October 10, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Knifeball

Is Q about queefs in any way?

By:|October 10, 2012


It’s Moldy Cheese Day

If you look hard enough you can find out that pretty much every day is something day. National Underpants Day, Kiss a Hobo Day, Rub One Out on Luke Perry’s Coat Day and today, October 9th, is Moldy Cheese Day. Did you celebrate yet?!?

By:|October 9, 2012


The Morning Jolt: The Love Sponge

This lady is stoked for sponges, yo.

By:|October 9, 2012


The Story of Canadian Thanksgiving

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving and you may be wondering, why are Canadians allowed outside? You may also be wondering why their Thanksgiving is so damned early and, for that matter, did Canadian pilgrims land somewhere a month earlier and do the exact same turkey dinner thing that American pilgrims did?

By:|October 8, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Monkey Pay Inequality

Turns out monkeys hate getting screwed for doing work just as much as anyone else.

By:|October 8, 2012


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: October 5th

Another week another stab at a few movies. Seems like not many people are trying hard this week, but oh well. Last time I checked Rotten Tomatoes our first entry was in single digits worth of rotten crap, s maybe this whole week will be a wash. We shall see. Anyway, this week we have a recipe included, and a video. What an age we live in.

By:|October 5, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Movie 43 (NSFW)

I don't know where this movie came from, but the trailer is some straight up crazy shit. Also very NSFW. Why? Because straight up cussing and boobs.

By:|October 5, 2012


This is Not Why I’m Broke

ThisiswhyImbroke.com is a sort of shopping site that directs you to places where you can find the coolest, weirdest items online so you can waste your hard earned money and get a jetpack. As such, it seems like a valuable service. Seems that way, anyway. The problem lies in the fact I can’t for the life of me find a reason to want any of the crap they point me to.

By:|October 4, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Anyone Have a Hot Sister?

I waited and waited and waited for the punch line. I was not disappointed.

By:|October 4, 2012


The World’s Creepiest Old People

Old people are not to be trusted. You know who thought up “respect your elders?” Old people. Good try, old people. Good try. Truth is that faint urine and wood chip smell, that confused aura, that wrinkled neck scrotum, all of that is just a distraction from their true nature – harmful old cranks. Old people are not sweet and innocent.

By:|October 3, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Cops and Morons

This video starts out pretty solid, but then it really pulls you in for a feel good ending. It's an all around winner.

By:|October 3, 2012


Sam Jackson Wants You To Pick Up After Your Dog

Sam Jackson, consummate narrator of children's books and commercials urging you to vote, now wants you to be a responsible pet owner.

By:|October 2, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Bieber Pukes Rainbows

This is exactly what the audience experienced. Thank you for this re-enactment.

By:|October 2, 2012


8 Things Grumpy Cat Looks Like

In the last week or so, the internet was introduced to what is arguably the most screwed up looking cat ever. Cats, as you know, invented the internet in conjunction with a series of tubes and Al Gore. Currently the internet is equal parts cats and porn, with a dash of music videos, articles I've written, and Facebook. But back to the cat at hand.

By:|October 1, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Sports Center Meow Game

Because Super Troopers and Sports Center deserve to meet.

By:|October 1, 2012