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If Advertisements Were Honest – Part 3

Not a lot of people know this, but Holy Taco was a trailblazer in the "honest ad" article movement. Look, part one and two and old as shit! Anyway, let's continue that spirit with another round of ads that, if they were being a little more truthful with you, would more adequately portray what they're trying to sell to you.

By:|June 14, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Iguana Tub

Doesn't matter if you've seen this before, it's not like it stopped being awesome.

By:|June 14, 2012


5 Great Actors We’ve Forgiven for Craptastic Pasts

Hollywood is a force to be reckoned with in the modern world, a multi-billion dollar industry with lobbyists and special interests and all for the purpose of putting people like Gary Busey on a screen while you and a room full of strangers watch him pretend to be someone else. It’s fascinating.

By:|June 13, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Banshee Wail

Under normal circumstances I would never embed a video of Beyonce singing. But this one was special.

By:|June 13, 2012


How to Spend Your Lottery Winnings

So, you’ve decided to win the lottery, good for you! It’s a fast and efficient way to get rich with very little effort, we’re surprised more people haven’t thought f it. Millions of dollars for the price of a cup of coffee or a candy bar or whatever costs a buck these days. I don’t know, I have a Swedish lady do all my shopping.

By:|June 12, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Bronycon

Did I just embed a 23 minute video? Damn right. Do I expect you to watch it? Not really, even I couldn't finish it. But dude, this is a documentary about men, living, adult men, who enjoy My Little Pony enough to have gone to a convention about it. This is the world we live in. Right now.

By:|June 12, 2012


The Walking Carl: Chapter 11

Ring the bell, bitches, I hit the jackpot. I was wandering through the woods east of Ben’s house and I found this little town. It reeks like fart there thanks to all the walkers but smack in the middle of town, guess what I found? A library!

By:|June 11, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Magic Apples

I ordered an apple that tastes like apple, the other side tasted like infinity.

By:|June 11, 2012


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: June 8th

Does anything stop the Holy Taco train of film prediction? Could anything? No, and do you know why? Because we’d see it coming ahead of time and be prepared because we have otherworldly powers of awesomeosity! Last week we predicted Snow White and the Hunstman would take the box office, which it did because the gimmick of MIB III only appealed to a handful of people for a week. What madness awaits us this week? Behold!

By:|June 8, 2012


The Morning Jolt: What’s This? A Beer?

I was never this musical when I drank. But now I wish I was.

By:|June 8, 2012


Summer Blockbuster Bingo

We're just now leaping full force into the summer blockbuster movie season. Why not bring along our handy Bingo card and see how many movies can flesh it out for you this year. Here's a hint, you'll probably fill every spot if you can manage to sit through everything Hollywood is churning out the next few months.

By:|June 7, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Django Unchained

This isn't a joke trailer, it's the real one. The joke would be Will Smith turning this role down for..what? MIB III? Good call, Bagger Vance.

By:|June 7, 2012


The 5 Most Terrible Foods Someone Will Bring to Your BBQ

It’s that time of year again, when you move the kitchen outdoors and get tanked with your friends in the yard while you eat in folding chairs and reminisce about a time when you got drunk and ate food in folding chairs and then puked in a potted plant. God, that was a fun weekend.

By:|June 6, 2012


The Morning Jolt: E3

Our old friend Ross Everett took in E3 and made this video to show you what was there to blow your gaming minds! Blow! Mind!

By:|June 6, 2012


How to Write a Comedy How to Article

So you’ve decided to write a hilariously uninformative comedy how to article, good for you. People enjoy the way it promises a pay off and then never delivers because if you actually told people how to do something then it would be a real article and what’s the point of that?

By:|June 5, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Caller ID

I just put people's names in my phone. Nothing funny ever happens. But no one ever calls me either. Meh.

By:|June 5, 2012


The Walking Carl: Chapter 10

I’ve become consumed with a problem these last few days. I was hoping zombie Stephen Hawking could help me but he’s not very helpful just following me around at a safe distance all day. Not for this problem. Unless I can start manipulating him.

By:|June 4, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Nap Time

My parents used to use the early version of this - Scotch.

By:|June 4, 2012


Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: June 1st

My God, it never stops! Last week did we not predict that MIB III would topple the Avengers? And then didn’t it? It did! I am psychic, that’s confirmed. By science. Film science. Science! Anyway, on to this week.

By:|June 1, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Horse

Yep, this is where we are now.

By:|June 1, 2012