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5 Cliches That Stand Up Comedians Need to Retire

You know what’s funny? Comedy. Stand up comedy, in particular, is an art form that some people have taken to amazing heights. Some people have shit all over it and inexplicably become rich in the process, but a number of people out there are just really great at telling hilarious stories and that’s awesome. On the other hand, some people told a half funny story once to a guy who was abusing OTC medications who kind of chuckled and that made them think they should be taking the mic in front of any and every crowd they can find to wow them with their comedy stylings.

By:|May 23, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Porn Prom

Ahh, Jimmy. You know the score.

By:|May 23, 2012


Hobo

How to Be a Hobo (Based on Observation Only)

So you’ve decided to eschew society’s comforts in favor of beggary and frostbite, good for you! It’s no easy task to simply let go of the material aspect of your life and become the thing most people equate with a living, breathing fart. Is that a terrible thing to say about a person? Of course, which is why most people’s view of the homeless is terrible. Good luck!

By:|May 22, 2012


creed

The Morning Jolt: Creed

I forgot how much Creed rocks. I Mean "yeeaarrggh for the frullll breeeha."

By:|May 22, 2012


WALKINGCARL

The Walking Carl: Chapter 8

Oh my God, this is the worst day of my life. Please, please understand how weighty that statement is. Almost everyone I have ever met is not only dead, but resurrected as a shambling pile of rotting flesh that wants to eat me, I’m barely eking out survival with my parents who mildly hate each other right now and a small group of strangers, the only other person my age was turned into a zombie then shot in the face by my dad and I have had to learn how to shoot people in the brain. But this, today, is just awful.

By:|May 21, 2012


review

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: May 18th

Last week we recommended you mostly ignore the movies playing and go see the Avengers again, and it looks like you did, once again proving Holy Taco has eerie, fictional-gypsy style powers of film prognostication. We’re kind of spooky. Sexy spooky.

By:|May 18, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: No Hash!

This guy hates hash. Like a lot.

By:|May 18, 2012


gothead

The 7 Types of People Who Watch Game of Thrones

HBO’s Game of Thrones has cemented itself as an awesome, epic fantasy/drama series chock full of boobies and a couple of dragons. It’s huge and everyone loves it except for a handful of vociferous haters. Shit, did we just use vociferous in a sentence? Ugh. Gotta move onto the graphic now.

By:|May 17, 2012


punk

The Morning Jolt: Punk

Just watching this will make you so punk you'll ovetrhtrow the government in a fit of anarchist glee.

By:|May 17, 2012


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The GIF Hole

GIF it all you got! Or whatever.

By:|May 16, 2012


Breakfast

The 6 Times You Actually Need a Cell Phone

It’s 2012 and people in 3rd world countries who can’t afford clean water or food have cell phones. There are people, right now, flopping poop patties into rusted wheelbarrows talking on their cell phones to guys the next country over who are unloading the poop flops into baskets to take to market in a society where people pay for baskets of shit. They pay for the shit baskets with bottle caps and monkeys paws because they don’ even have real money. But dammit, they have cellular service.

By:|May 16, 2012


energy

The Morning Jolt: Free Energy

I've never heard of this stuff which is clearly knocking off red Bull, but I want some now.

By:|May 16, 2012


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How to Rock n Roll All Night (and Party Every Day)

So, you want to fulfill the boner-infused dreams of every teenager in existence, good for you! It’s the greatest gift a person can give to themselves to just bust loose and have such a great time you either remember it forever and remember absolutely none of it.

By:|May 15, 2012


comedy

The Morning Jolt: Comedy Hate Mail

The only explanation I have for why I keep posting stand up vids is that a stand up comedian used to work here. I dunno, this stuff makes me laugh. Plus "porking" is made reference to. Funny.

By:|May 15, 2012


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The GIF Hole

Oh GIFs, you so crazy.

By:|May 14, 2012


WALKINGCARL

The Walking Carl: Chapter 7

Took a walk into the deep woods last night and you’re not going to believe this, I met someone! Not like zombie Stephen Hawking either, I found a real dude in a house. His name is Ben, he’s in the attic of this old farm house that’s half boarded up. I guess it was overrun by zombies a while ago, but seems pretty empty now.

By:|May 14, 2012


drums

The Morning Jolt: Crazy Pajama Drum Man

No idea what else to call this, but watch this crazy, hipster dude tear up the drums with some street performers. Then presumably go home and drink peyote tea.

By:|May 14, 2012


review

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: May 11th

Last week we gave a strong recommendation to the Avengers, sight unseen, and it made more money in its opening weekend than Canada has made in its entire history as a beaver-producing township. This indicates we have pretty stunning precognitive powers, at least when it comes to the potential awesomeness of film and also totally validates the existence of this feature appearing every week on Holy Taco.

By:|May 11, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Johnny Knoxville in Germany

This is an old one but man, watching a man cry is always a little bit funny.

By:|May 11, 2012


head

5 Things Your Girlfriend Says and What They Really Mean

Sometimes it's hard to tell what a woman means when she says something. So we made some translations.

By:|May 10, 2012