By: bgoldstein | 6/02/2014
By: bgoldstein | 6/02/2014
Fleshlight is a finely named product, as are Rub My Duckies and Butt plugs, because they are plugs for your butt and that seems an accurate moniker. But if you have to name sex toys, you may as well have some fun with it.
By:Ian Fortey|November 4, 2013
In a short time the Christmas movie season will begin complete with family films and a handful of what those industry types like to call “blockbusters” to pad out the season.
By:Ian Fortey|November 1, 2013
The Addams Family have been a Halloween staple for years. The comic strip originally appeared in the New Yorker, which might explain why you don’t like it, and was meant to be a satirical take on the American family. See, cuz they’re weird and you’re not. Get it? No? Shut your mouth.
By:Ian Fortey|October 31, 2013
I had a full on article posted here last night and apparently the internet ate it. I can find no trace of what I wrote and, naturally, my computer blue screened me so I have no saved copy on my hard drive.
By:Ian Fortey|October 30, 2013
So there are a lot of rumors going around about what happened this weekend. Let me set things straight once and for all. People got the wrong idea about me! I was a hero this weekend, straight up! Here's how it went down;
By:Ian Fortey|October 29, 2013
Thieving gypsy baby thieves thieving babies have been in the news a lot lately, even when they didn’t really steal a baby. As a public service, we’ll provide these signs to let you know gypsies are stealing babies from you, in case you weren’t sure.
By:Ian Fortey|October 28, 2013
Last week Carrie dropped a telekinetic turd on the movie going public and no one was amused, least of all me who hasn’t seen a movie in months. When will this dry spell end?!?
By:Ian Fortey|October 25, 2013
In 2013, every costume is of labia with some kind of vaguely identifiable theme. Nurse labia, bee labia, Spongebob labia. I don’t even know if they make men’s costumes anymore. But it doesn’t matter because 2013 is a wash.
By:Ian Fortey|October 24, 2013
Life hack is one of the most egregiously offensive terms currently in our lexicon. It’s stupid. It’s so stupid it should wear a helmet. It doesn’t mean anything.
By:Ian Fortey|October 23, 2013
They say 95% of people admit to masturbating and the other 5% are liars. Ha ha, burn! Wankers. And it’s true that every so often you smack the walrus the right way and it feels alright so you keep doing t. It’s human nature.
By:Ian Fortey|October 22, 2013
Word has it Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi are heading back to the woods with Army of Darkness II. You may recall in the previous Army of Darkness film, Bruce Campbell had a metal hand,a boomstick and was being worshipped by primitives in medieval times.
By:Ian Fortey|October 21, 2013
Another fun filled week of movies is upon us, will it be as stellar as last week with whatever the hell came out? I haven’t seen a movie in a few weeks so I kind of forget what happened lately.
By:Ian Fortey|October 18, 2013
I'm not saying aliens don't exist, I'm just saying they'd be as blown away to discover us as we would be to discover them and we'd mutually agree to probe one anothers' asses.
By:Ian Fortey|October 16, 2013
A year has passed since the events of Batman: Arkham City(quick synopsis – everyone at Arkham Asylum for the Batshit Insane in Gotham City, as well as inmates at Blackgate prison, has escaped and is making the city of Gotham a real shithole.
By:Ian Fortey|October 15, 2013
This weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada. Did you Canadians have Thanksgivng in October? Ya do now. But what’s the big idea, why a month early?
By:Ian Fortey|October 14, 2013
This week is as exciting to me as sitting in a library reading books on tax law. Despite this, it is my solemn duty as a guy who voluntarily gives his opinions on things he knows nothing about to continue sharing said opinions with you, then 13 people who came to this site whilst trying to find a restaurant in Atlanta that has the same name.
By:Ian Fortey|October 11, 2013
Dear Miley and Sinead, I see you two have had a lot to say to one another lately. Sinead, you’re chock full of unsolicited advice for a girl who played a character named Hannah Montana for her entire childhood and whose dad is most famous for Achy Breaky Heart.
By:Ian Fortey|October 10, 2013
We live in a world of under appreciated wonders. The very fact we’re all connected to each other right now across the internet s nothing short of amazing. And only slightly less amazing is the fact that, if I want a pizza, I can just cal someone and tell them to make me a pizza, then sit on my ass until they bring it to my house.
By:Ian Fortey|October 9, 2013
Best of Taco
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- 10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don't
- The 10 Most Worthless College Majors
- So This Is Why Ronald McDonald Is Always Smiling
- 25 Chicks with Mustaches
- The 12 Greatest Lines From Justin Bieber's Lawsuit Deposition
- Overheard at Thanksgiving
- Rick Majerus And Two Assholes. Springfield Sports Hall Of Fame. Crown Plaza Hotel. April 7, 2009.