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Limp Bizkit’s Latest Comeback is Their Stupidest Idea Yet

Limp Bizkit is releasing their new single on cassette only, and you have to attend one of their shows to buy it. Outdated media, and an even more outdated band, what a lovely combo. We usually don't condone giving up, but in Limp's case, we'll make an exception: GIVE IT UP, GUYS.

By:|June 3, 2014


Game of Thrones and the Most Shocking TV Deaths Ever (*SPOILER CENTRAL*)

If you haven't watched the most recent Game of Thrones, click elsewhere!

By:|June 2, 2014


5 Ways to Revive Breaking Bad While Keeping Walter White Dead

Bryan Cranston just teased that Walter White might still be alive and that maybe one day, the show could come back. People are going crazy with happiness and anticipation, even though the character returning would ruin his story. Here's how to bring Walter back while keeping him very dead.

By:|June 2, 2014


‘Sin City: A Dame to Kill For’ and Six Other Banned Movie Posters

The sheer suckitude of the MPAA has been well documented. In some cases, their poster-bans are justified; in others, it's just plain stupid. In all cases, though, the banning likely just made the posters more viral — which is why censorship doesn't work.

By:|June 2, 2014


‘Milkshake’ Quoted in Scripps Spelling Bee Because Kids Love BJ Jokes

The judge of the Scripps spelling bee responded to a request for the word "feijoada" by quoting Kelis's hit song "Milkshake". Everyone laughed and laughed and conveniently ignored how a middle-aged man just referenced blowjobs in front of a few dozen schoolchildren.

By:|June 2, 2014


16 Photos of Rachel Ann Mullins — Actress, Model, and ‘Entourage’ Sushi Girl

Rachel Ann Mullins is a Los Angeles-based actress who will be appearing in next year's Entourage movie as a girl who gets sushi eaten off of her, hopefully not by that Turtle guy.

By:|May 30, 2014


Coffee Dad: Twitter Joke, Depressing Existential Quandary

Coffee Dad is a joke Twitter that, the more you read it, turns into a depressing showcase of loss and never-ending grief. Some people, simply can't pull themselves up by their bootstraps and keep on keepin' on, no matter how much caffeine they consume for motivation.

By:|May 30, 2014


Holy Taco Bad Book Club: Pro Wrestling Poetry

"Parts Unknown: Wrestling, Gimmicks, and Other Works" is a book of avant garde pro wrestling poetry by Michael Holmes. It's as bad as it sounds, and the endless string of obscure references and insider terms paint the "poet" as little more than a rabid fan starved for attention from his heroes.

By:|May 30, 2014


America Doesn’t Have the World’s Fattest Kids…But We’re Pretty Damn Close

Oh, so I guess all you fat-ass Italian and Greek kids think you're BETTER than us, huh??

By:|May 29, 2014


MMA in Lingerie: The Most Pointless “Sexy” Idea Ever

There's a lingerie MMA league, called the Lingerie Fighting Championships. It tosses out all the tasty parts of pro wrestling, MMA, reality TV, and sex, blending behind nothing but a bland, pointless glop that gives the viewer shockingly little pleasure when swallowing.

By:|May 29, 2014


Great Failures from the Past: The Bud Bundy Rap Album

The guy who portrayed Bud Bundy, David Faustino, was huge into rap, despite being tiny and white. He even released an album, because nobody told him Grandmaster B was a joke. His single "I Told Ya" is still on YouTube, because Satan's taking forever to submit his copyright claim.

By:|May 29, 2014


Sign of the Apocalypse #168: Fast Food Restaurants to Begin Replacing Workers with Robots

"Robots are the Illegal Immigrants of the Future," Says One University of Oxford Study

By:|May 28, 2014


A Serial Tickler Invades Boston — And He’s Black?!?!?

It’s like something straight out of Revenge of the Nerds, and I love it.

By:|May 28, 2014


Scooter the Cat Has No Nuts and Just So Much Attitude

A company called Give Them Ten wants you to spay or neuter your pets. Their secret weapon is Scooter, the hippest, coolest cat in the Universe. He has no nuts, and is thus free to wear shades, gold chains, and strut around while stereotypical '70s soul funk blares in the background.

By:|May 28, 2014


4 Reasons the Pizza Underground Band Doesn’t Suck

Macaulay Culkin's new band, the Pizza Underground, has been met with much resistance from Velvet Underground fans, pissed off that the band takes VU songs and transforms them into pizza odes. Here's why the band isn't nearly as stupid an idea as people might think.

By:|May 28, 2014


Dakota Johnson and 21 More Sexy Celebrity Daughters

Celebs are usually good-looking, and they get to make whoopee with good-looking people and produce other hot people. It’s science, really.

By:|May 27, 2014


The Kim Jong-Un Video Game: An Exercise in Lazy Satire

"Glorious Leader" is an upcoming video game where you play as Kim Jong-Un, out to destroy America. It's clearly satire, except it's lazy, unoriginal satire, the worst kind. They mock Jong-Un exactly like everybody else does, only they do it in 16-bit form. This is apparently enough for some people.

By:|May 27, 2014


Lil TerRio Is All of Us — So Let the Boy Live

There are a lot of things I can say in opposition to Lil’ TerRio’s glossy new YouTube music video. But damn all that. I actually wanna *be* Lil’ Terrio.

By:|May 27, 2014


The Pros and Cons of Walking Your Dog with a Drone

Jeff Myers bought a drone, attached a leash to it, and let it lead his pooch down a lonely, lonely path. It made us wonder -- should you actually let a robot walk your dog? We weighed every single pro and con imaginable, in our version of a scientific analysis.

By:|May 27, 2014


Happy, the New McD’s Mascot: Not Scary, Just Terribly Unfunny

Despite Twitter's best jokes, Happy the New McDonald's mascot isn't scary or evil. It is, however, terrible. This might be the unfunniest, most obnoxious mascot in years. Its whole shtick is to make everybody around it laugh, but it does so in the most depressing, maddening style imaginable.

By:|May 26, 2014