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The Morning Jolt: More Like Awesome

The fact this seriously made me laugh is why it needs to be seen. Its pretty stupid though.

By:|May 10, 2012


lqUby

The GIF Hole

Sometimes, late at night, I dream I'm a real GIF.

By:|May 9, 2012


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6 Examples of Scumbag Fine Print

Fine print exists because of assholes. People who legally need to let you know something but really don’t want you to know something because it’s ridiculous put it in tiny print where you’re not likely to ever notice it. Many times it’s just mundane details, sometimes it’s absolutely preposterous.

By:|May 9, 2012


alone

The Morning Jolt: Forever Alone

Yeah, good luck at prom, kid.

By:|May 9, 2012


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How to Make Your Own Game of Thrones

So, you want to produce an epic fantasy series of books/HBO smut plays, good for you. The fantasy genre has never been hotter than it is right now thanks to Game and predecessors like Lord of the Ring, Harry Potter and whatever that silliness that L. Ron Hubbard wrote was about. Don’t believe the hype that it was sci fi. We should all know fantasy when we see it. No time to explain that joke, on to the next paragraph.

By:|May 8, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Hilarious in Norway

This is Norwegian comedian Daniel Simonsen. His act is pretty funny, but the delivery is fantastic. Yes, I realize no one likes watching stand up comedy online.

By:|May 8, 2012


WALKINGCARL

The Walking Carl: Chapter 6

Found a stack of cool old magazines today, in a little shack in the woods. I think it was a whack shack because this is a ton of porn, I was surprised. Not just because it’s so much porn, but because they apparently still publish porn in magazine form. Or they used to, anyway. I guess no one around here had wi fi.

By:|May 7, 2012


russia

The Morning Jolt: Security System

Seems like maybe this dude just opened up shop in a bad neighborhood, if all of this is really necessary.

By:|May 7, 2012


review

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: May 4th

Yes, this is Silver Screen Scoop, but we talked it over with the janitorial staff in the office and no one liked that name as it really didn’t cut to the heart of the fact that we’re just reviewing movies based on what commercials made us think. Anyway, for the May 4th weekend, we’ve got some winners for you. Let’s review!

By:|May 4, 2012


russia

The Morning Jolt: Russian News

Don't speak Russian? It's cool. Just watch for about 27 seconds.

By:|May 4, 2012


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The GIF Hole

GIFs are clinically proven to cure mudbutt.

By:|May 3, 2012


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This Mom Tanned with her 5 Year Old: An Interview

You may have heard of Patricia Krentcil, the 44 year old New Jersey mother who was arrested for taking her 5 year old daughter to a tanning salon. We sent our man Matt Lauer out to find her (he just followed the smell of mesquite) to conduct a quick interview on our behalf.

By:|May 3, 2012


creedfan

The Morning Jolt: The Last Creed Fan

I actually only watched this to the point where he said his own name, ad that's when I decided to put it on the site.

By:|May 3, 2012


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The GIF Hole

I gave my love a GIF, it had no bones.

By:|May 2, 2012


avengersladies

5 Girls You’ll Meet at the Avengers Premiere

This Friday is the premiere of Marvel’s The Avengers, the biggest thing to happen to comic book movies since Dolph Lundgren made us all fall in love with the Punisher. The movie is sure to be huge and will rake in more money than any of us are ever likely to see in our lifetimes, but another thing it will draw in is ladies. Oh yeah.

By:|May 2, 2012


Dorky dork

The Morning Jolt: Rex Velvet

Remember Phoenix Jones, Seattle's very own super hero? Looks like he has a villain. A villain with production values.

By:|May 2, 2012


thirdparty

How to Start a Third Political Party

So, you’ve decided to ruin the political system in America, good for you. Running for office is never an easy task, and trying to not be either a Democrat or a Republican is basically suicide. And hey, for you Canadians, try running on a Green Party platform. Loser.

By:|May 1, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Not a Beach

If you can find a stupider story today, laugh at it.

By:|May 1, 2012


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If Your Ex-Girlfriend Is a Dentist, She Will Pull Out Your Teeth

Anna Mackowiak, a dentist in Poland, just pulled what has to be one of the most horrifying, yet impressive, acts of post-break up revenge you’ll probably hear of any time soon.

By:|April 30, 2012


WALKINGCARL

The Walking Carl: Chapter 5

I have a serious problem. Remember zombie Stephen Hawking from last week? Well, I thought I took care of him with a Roman candle, but I guess I just scorched his head a bit. And for whatever reason he seems to have really enjoyed it because he won’t leave me alone. He must have followed my trail somehow because two days ago I was walking through the woods just goofing around and I hear this quiet little “unngghh!” so I turned and there he is!

By:|April 30, 2012