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A Game of Hodor: Chapter IV

Gods be good, I’ve made so many errors in judgment in my life. I could have gone to the Wall, you know. Well, obviously I am partaking of such an adventure now, but I mean on my own. They would have accepted me as a Black Brother. To be sure I would suffer mockery, but no worse than anywhere else. And on the upside I wouldn’t be wearing a glorified potato sack as I trudge through a freezing forest.

By:|July 30, 2012


The Morning Jolt: The Woman Whisperer

This dude looks like my uncle. Awesome.

By:|July 30, 2012


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: July 27th

Last week Batman came out and no one even tried to compete with it, so there’s not much point even discussing it. It was awesome, Batman is awesome, Bane is awesome, awesome is awesome. On with this week!

By:|July 27, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Cream of the Crop

I lose it every time he pulls that little creamer out.

By:|July 27, 2012


25 Signs Your Loved One May Be Possessed

Demonic possession is a constant threat in our workaday, evil world. If it wasn’t, people wouldn’t keep making movies about it now would they? Don’t answer that because the devil will beguile you with his sweet words and I have to assume you are housing Satan deep in your loins as we speak. Instead, I’ll just give you these signs to be watchful of, or perhaps for your friends and loved ones to be watchful of if it turns out you do, in fact, carry a scrotum* full of Beelzebub.

By:|July 26, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Mean Tweets

This is why you need to keep saying mean things about celebrities on Twitter.

By:|July 26, 2012


How to Be Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel started life as a break dancing afro samurai, or something very much like that. When he was born he was 200lbs of muscle and forced, gravelly voice. He punched out the doctor that delivered him but only because that doctor was secretly dealing smack to other babies. Smack babies. Vin Diesel uppercuts the plaque off of his own teeth. Enough of the biography, more paragraphs await further down the page!

By:|July 25, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Walk Like a Man (Or Woman)

Wait, there's fake cripples out there? NOOOO!

By:|July 25, 2012


5 Ridiculous Flying Machines

Since the dawn of time man has struggled to punch a bird on its own turf. Chasing down a flightless bird is only funny for the first 20 or so times as they waddle and scramble for safety. But a bird in flight, now that was worthy prey.

By:|July 24, 2012


A Game of Hodor: Chapter III

This exact conversation happened earlier today; “ We’re running low on rations.” “Hodor.”

By:|July 23, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Gypsies

National Geographic is apparently trying to be as awful as TLC and A&E.

By:|July 23, 2012


Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: July 20th

Last week, due to the nefarious influence of Comic Con, we missed out on this segment entirely. We probably would have aced it though, we’re good at this stuff. Anyways, on with a new week. Get your movie on!

By:|July 20, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Vader

Sometimes you need to have Darth Vader on a unicycle playing bag pipes. You just have to.

By:|July 20, 2012


The Inner Monologue of Cher’s Vagina

Whooooooo…. Issssssss…… Thissssssssss?

By:|July 19, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Kristianne Baille

In honor of Christian Bale being back in theaters.

By:|July 19, 2012


How to Tie a Tie

1. Find a tie.

By:|July 18, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Parking

German drunks love a good parking job.

By:|July 18, 2012


The Inner Monologue of a Canadian Olympic Basketball Player During the Opening Ceremonies

Oh God. Just…ungh. How did we let this happen? I knew I should have called in sick. Or just smoked some weed or something, they would have disqualified me. What the hell am I doing here?

By:|July 17, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Thumbtack Russian Roulette

This is so stupid and yet so hard to look away from.

By:|July 17, 2012


5 Ways to Get Your Nerd Fix Now That Comic Con is Over

Comic Con has vanished for another year – the exclusive content, the cosplayers, the unfulfilled hopes of seeing boob, they’ve been packed up and put in a He-Man lunch box until next year. If your nerd on has not be sated with this year’s installment or, like us, you’re forbidden to attend and need something else to keep you busy, why not try some of these nerd pastimes, guaranteed to feature at least one person who knows what an Infinity Gem is.

By:|July 16, 2012