Holy Taco Comment Of The Week
This week's winner came from our "If Steve Jobs Had A Comic" post. It took me a second to get it, but it's so god damned random that it made me laugh. WINNER: Sasha Vujacic Sasha Vujacic Says: July 31st, 2008 at 12:02 pm That was so hilarious, I just shot an ill-advised three pointer.
By:|July 31, 2008
Snoop Dogg Caught With Weed? Whaaa?
Here's how you know cops are really, really, really, bored: Snoop Dogg's tour bus was stopped by police yesterday afternoon, and two of the singer's entourage were arrested for marijuana possession. In an unrelated story, a new study finds that men masturbate. Actually, I find this story pretty shocking. How did they only find two ounces of weed on his bus? I feel like that much falls out when you open the door. If they only found two ounces, that means he was hiding another 198 ounces somewhere else. I couldn't figure out where, until I saw this family photo:
By:|July 31, 2008
Verne Troyer Sues Poor Person For $20 Million
Ahh, suing people. The good ol' American pastime. It's nice to know that in this great nation of ours, taking someone to court isn't just something the biggest and richest people can do. Little tiny people can do it, too. According to about a thousand celebrity blogs, Verne is suing his ex girlfriend, Ranae Shrider, the girl who leaked the extremely erotic Mini Me Sex Tape: In the lawsuit, Troyer who is 2?8? and weighs 40 pounds, accuses the 5?5? 110-pound Shrider of intentional infliction of emotional distress and battery. The 39-year-old is asking for $20 million in damages. "When you pick up a 2?8? human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts, Troyer's attorney, Ed McPherson, told TMZ. Troyer feared for his safety and "did not want to go into his own home without having someone else accompanying him, according to the court documents. The papers describe one instance in which "Shrider grabbed [Troyer] very forcefully by the arm, held him against his will, and did not let him get away from her. Troyer basically says the chick terrorized him, once picked the lock to his bedroom door, pushing away a 100 pound scooter that was used to block the door, and then throwing him to the floor. $20 million, huh? Does Verne know that if someone is forced to date Mini Me, then there's a good chance that she doesn't have 20 dollars, let alone $20 million. And while she probably shouldn't've picked the lock to his bedroom, I'm not sure why he's so worked up about getting tossed to the ground. He's 2'8". He's already really really close to the ground. And plus, I think he had to endure much worse earlier in his career when he was in the circus.
By:|July 31, 2008
Shia LaBeouf Broken Hand Written In To Transformers
So Shia LaBeouf got drunk, crashed his car, and then mangled his hand. I know, the first thing we all thought was "Oh no! How will this affect his character of Sam Witwicky in the sequel to the Transformers movie that they're currently shooting?! HOW?!!!" Everybody calm the F down right now! Hollywood is ON it. Usmagazine.com reports: Transformers 2 director Michael Bay says Shia LaBeouf's injury from his weekend car crash may be tied into the upcoming blockbuster sequel. "His two fingers are pretty mashed, but we're figuring out a way to shoot around it, kind of write it in the story, Bay told Access Hollywood of the actor, 22, who has undergone extensive hand surgery. I was hoping Michael Bay would was going to follow that with a statement saying "Also, the script is pretty shitty, but we're figuring a way to shoot around it, kind of write the shitty script into the shitty script." I happen to have a copy of a the pages from the new script where they've written in how Shia's hands get smashed. I must say, it's a lot edgier than I thought and I'm pleasantly surprised.
By:|July 31, 2008
Van Halen Somehow Even Cheesier
For those of you not versed in the rock God lyrics of David Lee Roth, you might not recognize this deli cheese found in New York the other day. Instead of saying "Havarti" or "Cheddar," these are the lyrics to Halen's "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love." And while it might be a slightly cheesy cock-rock song, the words aren't going to let you know if this fromage is going to have a slightly nutty or bitter finish. At first I thought the guy at the deli was just a Van Halen fan. But after doing a little research, I found this cheese factory photo that tells a different story: Other crap to look at: Mischa Barton's publicity stunt (drunkenstepfather) Stephanie Ly is attractive (gorillamask) The only FAA certified helicopter bad ass (tastybooze) Jessica Jane Clement in Maxim (hornyoyster) Ever wonder what it was like growing up Aiken (comedy.com) Ever wanted to pork your own pork? (inventorspot) It's faceplant Friday (donchavez) Hot or Not? Claire Danes (doubleviking) Christ shows up in another food (asylum)
By:|July 31, 2008
Sara Varone
Age: 35 Where you've seen her: Sara Varone hosts some game show in Italy. You don't really need to know that. Her nickname is "sweater kittens." That's all you really need to know. Pointless quote: "I have graduated from high school and later achieved a degree in psychology. And there in the end, there has always been the ignorant one who passes the big fat rumors onto the media painting me a whole new picture of myself: the typical, brainless, brunette bimbo.
By:|July 31, 2008
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