Katharine McPhee
Age: 24 Where you've seen her: Katharine McPhee won American Idol...or she came close. To be honest, I have no idea. Now she's apparently in a movie. Whatever. According to her website: During her run on American Idol, someone coined the term "McPheever." On a totally unrelated note, I've had a pretty serious case of "Beaver McPheever" since I hit puberty. Pointless quote: "I didn't know really who Meatloaf was. I knew the name, but didn't know what to expect. "
By:|August 19, 2008
Link Time
This woman married neck beard Kyle Orton (busted coverage) 15 images you won't believe are photoshopped (cracked) Motorcycle break up (college humor) Miss Coed: Bonnie Jill Laflin (coedmagazine) Kate Beckinsale's snorkeling of the day (drunkenstepfather) Audrina Patridge bikini pics (hollywood tuna) Spatula madness (i-am-bored) Doggie Slip and Slide (giggle sugar) 11 Olympic sports that morbidly obese people can win (11points) Righteous kill: red band trailer (screenjunkies) 14 awesome condom advertisements Evans, Franklin talk UFC 88
By:|August 18, 2008
Michael Phelps Will Bang The Gold Out Of You
Michael Phelps may have broken Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals, but if there was a medal given for looking like a dude who could come to full erection and ejaculate in a room filled with a camera crew, then I think Spitz takes gold and never relenquishes. Look at him up there on the right. That's what people used to look like in the seventies. If Spitz looked like that, then what the hell did porn stars look like? Anyway, surprise surprise, Phelps is on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Usmagazine.com reports: Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps debuts his record-breaking eight gold medals on the new cover of Sports Illustrated (on stands Aug. 20). The 23-year-old pays homage to Mark Spitz by draping the golds around his neck, just as Spitz did after he won seven golds in the 1972 Munich games. I have to admit, I was watching those races like I was Phelp's 1950s high school sweet heart and he was beating the shit out of some greaser who was spreading rumors about me not being a virgin. Phelps kicked the ever loving shit out of people. I felt like I was watching 300. I was waiting for him to kick one of those french relay dudes into a dark pit or something during the medal ceremony.
By:|August 18, 2008
Jennifer Love Hewitt And My Childhood, Explained
Jennifer Love Hewitt lost 19 pounds and Health magazine interviewed her. The few excerpts I read were boring as dogshit, except for this rather awkward quote, via people.com: "I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great!" the Ghost Whisperer actress, 29, tells Health magazine in its September issue. This got me to thinking. I'm a year younger than her, and her rise to fame coincided with my discovery of masturbation. So, in an effort to better represent what Jennifer Love Hewitt meant to me, I've constructed this chart: LEGEND: Hewitt played a small part in Sister Act Two. It was the only video tape my parents owned. The number is so low because it's really hard to masturbate to a video that cuts to Whoopi Goldberg every fifteen seconds. Party of Five came on the air and I got a television in my bedroom. Unfortunately my bedroom door didn't lock. I moved out of my parents house and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" came out on video. I got a high speed internet connection on the computer I shared with my roommates. I got a high speed internet connection on my own computer.
By:|August 18, 2008
John Tesh Concerts Are As Awesome As You Think They Are
- Watch more free videos I don't need to tell you the multiple levels of mind blowing awesome that are in this video, but I'm going to anyway. In the form of a liveblog: :49 - The first good look at Tesh's perfectly groomed goatee. Look at those clean lines! :52 - Shit! That's Tesh's REAL answering machine! Shit! 1:02-1:11 - Whoa! It's Tesh rocking out to a recording of Tesh rocking out! That's almost too many Tesh's to handle! (Almost!) 1:23 - Watch out, Piano! Tesh is running over to you for a seriously kickass version of "Roundball Rock!" 1:34 - While he already knows the answer, Tesh casually looks up to see how blown away the crowd is by this, THE GREATEST SONG EVER! 1:46 - Tesh pulls a sweet lean back because he is so overcome with the brutalfying crushiality of this ear-blowing jam. Don't fall over, Tesh! 1:53 - I think this is a breakdown. Phew, time to catch our Tesh...I mean breath! (LOL) 2:16 - Hair flip! 2:26 - Is it over?!?!? 2:29 - No!!!! 2:42 - This guitar solo is sooooo searing, no one could possibilty try and top it! 2:47 - NO EFFING WAY! The violinist just stepped in and opened up a can of four-string whoopass! 2:52 - And the guitarist answers! It's a VIOLIN/GUITAR fight in a John Tesh song! My soul just caught on fire and burned down my body!!!!! 3:04 - WHAT?!?!? The violinist and guitarist just joined forces! (Fight ends in a draw!) 3:14 - Tesh is back! 3:40 - Take a bow, JT. You have taken our hearts, flown them up into the stratosphere, toyed with them for three mi nutes and fourty seven seconds and safely brought us back down to earth. You are truly...John Tesh.
By:|August 18, 2008
