Link Time
Olympic Cheerleaders show their skills (busted coverage) Awkward Rap (college humor) 8 everyday words with x-rated origins (cracked) Miss Coed: Rhian Sugden (coedmagazine) Cindy Margolis has big old boobs (drunkenstepfather) Hayden Panattiere has little cleavage (hollywoodtuna) When transvestites attack mcdonalds (i-am-bored) WTF? (giggle sugar) The 18 most absurd sex scenes in movies (screenjunkies) Fox Business knows what works Matt Hughes not impressed with GSP's performance
By:|August 10, 2008
Jake Gyllenhaal On Steroids? You Be The Judge
Photo courtesy of splashnews There's a dude in my office who sits next to me who drinks protein shakes three times a day in an attempt to get buff. I think Jake Gyllenhaal ate that dude. This picture is taken from the set of "Prince of Persia," which I'm guessing from the looks of this photo, is about a whiny hipster who decides he's going to become a homosexual icon. I don't know if Gyllenhaal is taking steroids or not, but let's do a little case study. Here's Barry Bonds both pre and post steroids: Now here's Gyllenhaal a year ago: and now:
By:|August 10, 2008
Nobody Wants Tori Spelling. Nobody.
I remember once in college, a bunch of my friends came over and we got super high and started talking about which 90210 character we'd be. It was an insanely stupid conversation but the reason I remember it was because my roommate looked at this girl sitting across from us, who lived next door, and goes "dude, you'd totally be Tori Spelling," and the girl bursts in to tears and goes "f*&k you?!" and did a spaghetti armed run out of the apartment. Then it was quiet for a second and that chick's boyfriend looked at my roommate and said super seriously, "not cool, man. Way not cool." I think that pretty much sums up Tori Spelling, so it's no surprise to me the CW is passive aggressively trying to get her out of the 90210 remake. Usmagazine.com reports: Tori Spelling has changed her mind about returning to Beverly Hills, 90210 as Donna Martin. The confirmation comes after DeadlineHollywoodDaily.com reported Monday that Spelling, 35, pulled out after learning that co-stars Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty were earning $35,000-$50,000 per episode compared to Spelling's $10,000-$20,000 per episode salary. I'm really hoping the CW execs had a meeting with her and brought out a big chart and were like "See, it's a simple equation. On a scale of 1-10, let's rate your talent at a 2. Now on that same scale, let's rate your father's aliveness at a 1. Two plus one equals three. Now take Scott, the building Janitor. His talent is a 3, and your father's aliveness is still a 1. Three plus one equals four. Thus, we can't justify paying you more than Scott. I wonder if when they offered her the check, it looked like this:
By:|August 10, 2008
5 Amazingly Embarrassing Corporate Songs
5. WE BUILT THIS STARBUCKS - JEFFERSON STARBUCKS We Built This Starbucks - Watch more free videos If you're going to write a song to get your employees psyched up to sell some coffee, don't make it a parody of the worst song ever written. Best lyric: It's another Funday/With the deals we land/Licensees have got the venue/(Ohhhhhoahhwwhoaow)/And we bring the braaaand! 4. WE WORK HARD FOR YOUR MONEY - MINDSHARE We work Hard for your money - Watch more free videos Imagine getting the memo that your company's executives thought it would be a good idea to write a team-building song and that it was mandatory that all employees had to be in the video. Then imagine the memo saying that you had to sing a version of Donna Summer's "She Works Hard For The Money" except with lyrics about how great you treat your clients. Then imagine that you're not imagining this. Best lyric: A people's business that's what it is/Research creative and digital/Creating value/So meet our wonderful team (Please note that it doesn't even rhyme)
By:|August 10, 2008
MILF War!
Since we kick each week off with MILF Monday here at HolyTaco, this newspaper headline about an apparent MILF war going on in the Philippines just seemed to make sense. I'm not sure what they're fighting about, but if they need me to enlist, I would like the MILF's to know that I will go into hot, sexy battle with them anytime. Other crap to look at: The King of Comedy is now with the King of Kings (drunkenstepfather) Watch douches chill beer in three minutes (tastybooze) Hilary Fisher is attractive (gorillamask) Linda Santaguida is also attractive (doubleviking) Lady trips shoplifter (hornyoyster) The best of Late Night TV (comedy.com) Almudena Cid is an Olympian to be proud of (cameltap) Naughty motivations are better than real ones (funtasticus)
By:|August 10, 2008
Vanessa Marcil
Age: 39 Where you've seen her: Since you probably aren't a die-hard General Hospital fan, the only place you could've seen Vanessa Marcil was on the she Las Vegas. If you are a die-hard General Hospital fan, you probably don't have a job, which is pretty cool. Sad facts: Vanessa was married to Corey Feldman in the early 90s and had a son with Brian Austin Green. Yes, the same Brian Austin Green who's engaged to Megan Fox. I hate Brian Austin Green. Pointless quote: Because of my crazy work schedule, I have become something of a master at changing my clothes while driving. The men driving next to me love it.
By:|August 10, 2008
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