Holy Taco Comment Of The Week
This week's winner comes from our 8 People Who Will Ruin Your Party" post. The post is a couple weeks old, but the comment came in a couple days ago. Everyone was chiming in with other people that ruin parties, (The bitchy friend, the old guy, etc...) so when I received this comment, It was so out there it made me laugh pretty hard. FYI, I see this guy ALL the time at the parties I go to. WINNER: Bongo COMMENT: Bongo Says: August 7th, 2008 at 2:56 pm I am the guy who fucks yours mom while your are trying to flirt with the woman who is a she male .
By:|August 7, 2008
John Edwards Loses Debate With Sen. Vagina
When you get caught cheating a little guy in your brain runs over to a switch that is set on "normal" and flips it up to it's other setting, "Total bullshit." So, I especially love when politicians get caught cheating on their wives because their bullshit speak is on another level. Cnn.com reports: Former Sen. John Edwards has admitted having an extramarital affair in 2006. Now, here comes the awesome.... The former Democratic presidential candidate said he "made a serious error in judgment and conducted myself in a way that was disloyal to my family and to my core beliefs." That might be the greatest way I've heard someone say "I got horny and f-ed some chick." I wish he had added to the end "But I was loyal to my penis' core beliefs." I think we all should have known this was coming. If you paid close attention to the Kobe Bryant apology, you would have seen this:
By:|August 7, 2008
Clay Aiken Has Baby Boy Or Something
In college I lived with three dudes and one girl. The girl had her own bathroom, and the four of us guys shared the other bathroom. One day her shower broke and she was like "You guys mind if I take a bath in your shower tub?" We all sort of looked at each other and then one of my roommates goes "Um... are you on birth control?" That might not be how it works, but when you're 19, your bathtub is literally more sperm than bathub, so you don't want to take any chances. Because seriously, if Clay Aiken's sperm can impregnate somebody, anything is possible. People.com reports: Clay Aiken is a daddy! The former American Idol contestant and music producer Jaymes Foster welcomed a baby boy Friday morning, the singer said in a statement on his Web site Parker Foster Aiken was born at 8:08 a.m., on August 8th. "Wow ... 8:08 ... 08/08/08," added Aiken. I was hoping he'd continue on to say "And I rented Troy last night and got 8 erections while watching it. Okay, this is getting super weird." There's something that doesn't add up here. I feel like there is no woman that he impregnated. Don't get me wrong, I think the baby is real, but I think the momma is someone else. Someone like this... NOTE: Do not click Continue Reading unless you want to see a photoshop so disturbing that it sickened me while I made it.
By:|August 7, 2008
The Only Church With Glow Sticks
Clubbing for the Lord - Watch more free videos I don't think there's anything in the Bible that says you can't love the Lord to some seriously bangin' trance music. So let's get our glow sticks, a few pacifiers, drop some tabs and get to churchin'!
By:|August 7, 2008
Nigerian Man Gives World’s Most Obvious Advice
Look in this man's eyes. Can you see how tired and beaten down he is? The deep lines on his cheeks tell the story of a man who's wishing for death to come and take him away from his exhausting existence. But his wizened face also has a bit of wisdom, and he's willing to share it with you. According to the BBC: Nigerian Mohammed Bello Abubakar, 84, has advised other men not to follow his example and marry 86 women. The former teacher and Muslim preacher, who lives in Niger State with his wives and at least 170 children, says he is able to cope only with the help of God. "A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them," he told the BBC. I don't go looking for them, they come to me. I will consider the fact that God has asked me to do it and I will just marry them." Right after he said that, he took off his hat and a shitload of babies fell out. Well, thank God for this article. I was just on the verge of marrying my 84th wife, but after listening to Bello and looking into his cold, dark, lifeless, fading eyes I think I'm going to cut it off at 83. I wouldn't want to go overboard.
By:|August 7, 2008
The Mother Of All Ebay Excuses
The moment I saw this excuse for not paying off an ebay purchase, I laughed so hard I almost killed my son. Not because I think the death of a child is funny, but because this person is clearly lying. And it takes an extra special kind of person to go so far as to claim the death of a child to buy a little extra time to pay for some piece of crap on ebay. I'm pretty sure a "Hey, is it OK if I pay you next week" would've been just fine. Before you write in defending this person and asking me how I know he/she's lying, ask yourself one thing: What kind of parent would be worried about paying ebay debts promptly on the day that his/her son died? And why take the time to send an email saying he/she will be able to do it next week? Anyone who's used Paypal knows it takes the same amount of time to transfer money than it does to send off an email. And, I guess the grieving process is about a week long? And that just happens to be about the length of time it takes for money to get transferred into Paypal. Sorry, there won't be any more HolyTaco posts until next week because I die today. Thank. Other crap to look at: Naomi Millbank Smith doesn't like clothes (cameltap) Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy ass (drunkenstepfather) Orsi Kocsis is her real name (gorillamask) Free 3.5 pound hot dog if... (tastybooze) Kim Kardashian bikini pics (doubleviking) Eva Mendes does GQ (hornyoyster) Hot for babysitter (comedy.com)
By:|August 7, 2008
Marija Vujovic
Age: 24 Where you've seen her: Marija Vujovic is a Yugoslavian model who's been in a lot of fancy schmancy ads for clothing lines you've never heard of. She's also a Victoria's Secret model, which is a clothing line you'd like to see more of. Pointless quote: "I feel great because when you walk, everyone watches you. It's a nice feeling.
By:|August 7, 2008
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