Explore Holy Taco

Mantyhose Are Real And You’re Going To Wear Them

What are mantyhose? They're exactly what they sound like, bro. They're pantyhose for men. Not like gay men or trannies (though, I guess the pantyhose they were could be considered pantyhose for men.) "Mantyhose" are pantyhose marketed for every man, to be worn without irony or the intent to shock. Who cares about men wearing pantyhose? I don't. I live in New York City. Seeing men walking around in pantyhose would be a welcome relief from seeing men poop on the sidewalk in broad daylight.

By:|March 7, 2012

3 L'Amour de Pierrot

25 Classical Art Tattoos

Anyone can get a tattoo of Calvin pissing on Hobbes. To get one of these, it helps to at least know who Monet is.

By:|March 7, 2012


Everyone is a Slut: 9 Remarkable Sex Scandals

Sandra Fluke, you’re in good company. Surely, if given the chance, all around decent citizen Rush Limbaugh would have expounded on his comments rather than apologizing online for them, and explained how what he really means is that everyone is a slut. And it seems to be pretty much, true. Check out these other people we’re indirectly labeling sluts for their sexual behavior. And these folks actually even deserve it.

By:|March 7, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Dollar Shave Club

Watch this and then give these people money.

By:|March 7, 2012


Five Reasons Why You’re Wrong

We all get into arguments we have difficulty winning. You may have even found yourself entering an argument you know, for a fact, you can't really win. You may even discover that the point you're arguing is completely invalid, but that's no reason to stop arguing. You can't lose arguments. Only losers lose arguments. Even if you're wrong you can win the argument by redirecting, tying in disassociated facts, and using personal insults to get inside your opponent's head. Oh, sure, it's dirty pool, but it'll save you the embarrassment of saying "I'm sorry, you're right." Nobody wants to deal with that. To aide your in your next futile debate, we're providing you with ten counter-arguments to prove your opponent wrong, even if they're technically "right."

By:|March 6, 2012


Beards Are Not Attractive. To Anyone. According To Science.

Hey, you, with the scraggly pubes on your face that you think makes you look mature, wise, and rugged. That thatch of barbershop dumpster contents you’ve got on your face that you call a “beard” isn’t as sexually appealing as you once thought. In fact, it’s sexually appalling, according to science. And did you notice that thing I did there? I used one word that meant something good, and followed it up by using a second word that sounds similar to the first, but means the opposite. You just got school on the art of witty wordplay, you disheveled husk of a man.

By:|March 6, 2012


GIF Attack!

"How do you like it, human?!"

By:|March 6, 2012


25 Ridiculous Love Dolls (mildly NSFW)

Having a love doll at all is kind of sad. Having one of these is just wrong. So wrong.

By:|March 6, 2012


How Much Is Your Body Worth?

Money is big news. Unemployment, the 99%, shady business dealings, overpaid athletes, the world is enamored with money – who has it, who doesn’t and where it goes and how it gets there. It’s wonderful. Oh, plus one time, I found $5 right on the sidewalk. It was awesome. I bought a Coke and then I think I lost the rest.

By:|March 6, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Yoga Farm of Terror

Nothing here is not traumatic.

By:|March 6, 2012


32 Texas Independence Babes

Free Texas already!  Except if that happens, we wont have easy access to these hot babes, brought to you by our friends at Coed

By:|March 5, 2012


SpeechJammer: The Handy Little Device That Can Shut You Up

Getting people to shut up is one of those wonderful little powers we all wish we had. We’ve all been in a conversation with someone and halfway through realized listening to them speak can be detrimental to our mental health. Or maybe we’ve sat in a movie theater not being able to hear a crucial bit of dialogue because some jackass in the back is trying to be the class clown because no one will listen to him unless you cram them in to a darkened box filled with people. In those moments, we all wish we had a gun that could shut that person up. But real guns are too violent. Whip out one of those in a theater and suddenly everyone has something to say, mostly “Ahhhhh! A gun!” To which you respond, “Yeah, thanks, Capitan Obvious. Pfft! This guy…”

By:|March 5, 2012


Kirk Cameron Doth Protest Too Much

So we're all aware at this point that Kirk Cameron is a born again Christian, right? 'Cause he is, and he's not one of the cool, quiet ones. He still goes on TV and flaps his dumb gums about crap. Most recently, he was on Piers Morgan's show discussing gay marriage. Of course, he was against it. Like really against it. Like so against it that he might actually be for it.

By:|March 5, 2012


Thoughts from the Dark Side

Yes we’ve posted about this Brisk Saber app a few times now but there’s good reason. The first is that I own my own replica lighsaber now and that makes me a pretty high-ranking nerd. It’s a green Kit Fisto lightseber, of course, because Kit Fisto has the funniest name in all of Star Wars.

By:|March 5, 2012

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The 25 Moods of Nic Cage

Nic Cage is America's greatest treasure.

By:|March 5, 2012


4 Things We Keep Doing (And Keep Regretting)

Everyone has regrets. Your friends, your coworkers, my parents, the world is full of people who made bad choices and lived to feel bad about it, but maybe it’s a learning experience that we are able to feel regret, something we can internalize and use to grow and become better people. Or maybe some of us are fools who keep doing and regretting the same things over and over again in some horrible cycle of self loathing.

By:|March 5, 2012


The Morning Jolt: Pee Prank

This shouldn't be as funny as it is. But it is. Pee!

By:|March 5, 2012


Holy Taco Draws the News: Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh was in the news this week. Not sure why? Well, we'll try to explain.

By:|March 4, 2012


Sunday Comics

Sunday is the best day for Sunday comics. Statistics say so.

By:|March 4, 2012


20 Reasons I Will Be Calling In Sick On Tuesday (None Of Which Are Mass Effect 3)

I’m going to be calling in sick on Tuesday. The reason for this will be specific and believable, but I can assure you, the reader, and everyone at Break Media, that my reason is legitimate and will have absolutely nothing to do with the release of Mass Effect 3, the third game in what might be my current favorite video game franchise.

By:|March 2, 2012