By: bgoldstein | 19/03/2014
It'll be the first SI Swimsuit Issue appearance for Ratajkowski ("the j is silent"), who blasted into public consciousness last year thanks to her delightfully topless appearance in Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" video.
By:bgoldstein|February 4, 2014
Deleted scenes, hilarious outtakes, and more rare footage from one of the greatest character actors of all time. RIP, good sir.
By:bgoldstein|February 3, 2014
Behold: The most punchable face in the universe.
By:bgoldstein|January 31, 2014
Grade-school "education" is pointless filler designed to create good capitalist drones while allowing teachers enough down-time to play Candy Crush. Here's what our children should be learning.
By:bgoldstein|January 30, 2014
If you really believe God is omnipotent and benevolent, answer a question for us: Why does God’s plan for the human race include football?
By:bgoldstein|January 29, 2014
It's you and me on our way up to the 13th floor and the elevator craps out. We're trapped. Is help coming? Maybe. Maybe we'll die here together. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. What exactly can you do with me on an elevator we may never get off of? Behold!
By:Ian Fortey|January 6, 2014
Hi everyone, I'm not dead! Rejoice! fact is, I do most of my work these days over at Break.com
By:Ian Fortey|December 30, 2013
I was robbed at a Wal Mart yesterday so I'm taking today off. Here's a people of Wal Mart video. Screw you, guy who owns my phone now.
By:Ian Fortey|December 19, 2013
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat and I have no pennies for that old man’s hat. Why? Because I’ve been buying overpriced shit like fashion turtles and Marxist philosophy textbooks for people on my Christmas list
By:Ian Fortey|December 17, 2013
I think I missed even writing this feature last week, probably due to drunkenness or prison, but I’ll thank you not to meddle in my affairs. I trust all the films from last week sucked, however.
By:Ian Fortey|December 13, 2013
It’s cold here. Too cold. Frigid as a nun with a hormone imbalance. I don’t like it.
By:Ian Fortey|December 12, 2013
Dear Wendy’s, I want to start by letting you know I understand. I do. You’re a massive franchise fast food restaurant that operates in a system where you employ hundreds of thousands of people for minimum wage, meaning you’re getting only the people willing to be degraded and berated by low brow members of the [...]
By:Ian Fortey|December 10, 2013
This weekend I bought a new router after realizing I’d been using the same router since about 2005 and it was only capable of top speeds somewhere around half of what my modem should be kicking out. Basically I was putting premium fuel in old timey bicycle that had a lawn motor engine strapped to it. It was ridiculous.
By:Ian Fortey|December 9, 2013
Send your love to others the way the Kardashians do, with an idiotic card!
By:Ian Fortey|December 5, 2013
The Catholic Church is enjoying an unprecedented time in its history thanks to one man – Pope Francis. Unlike the last two Popes, Pope Francis actually seems like a guy who wants to use his influence to make the world a better place. It’s ironic and sad to say this, but he seems like a genuinely good man. Why is that surprising? Because I can’t think of another genuinely good man in any position of power anywhere on earth.
By:Ian Fortey|December 4, 2013
It was the spin after the toilet that sold me on this video.
By:Ian Fortey|December 4, 2013
Now is the time for malls, outlet stores and shitty, shitty radio stations to assault your ears with seasonal vitriol. According to science, a man can only listen to a cover of Santa Baby three times before a large portion of the brain turns to mush. That song sucks that badly.
By:Ian Fortey|December 3, 2013
So confident am I that AMC misfired on this episode, I’m actually writing this article two hours before it airs. I’m that good . I am going to tell you all the things you didn’t see that you needed to see, and wanted to see, and should have seen. I am going to make a real classic where none existed.
By:Ian Fortey|December 2, 2013
Because it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without GIFs.
By:Ian Fortey|November 28, 2013
Kanye West is a busy man. He has to refer to himself as a god in a non-ironic way during interviews. He has to simulate sex with his girlfriend in terrible music videos. He has to interrupt awards shows (which he was doing well before the Taylor Swift incident, like that time in 2006 when he lost an award and went on stage anyway to argue that he should have won), and also whine about awards shows when he doesn’t win, like the time he swore he’d never appear on MTV again after not winning at the VMAs.
By:Ian Fortey|November 27, 2013
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