Get Your Tickets To The Disease And Sin Festival Known As Coachella!
The annual music festival held in Indio, California every year is called Coachella. (In case you're my dad and didn't know that already.) It's a music festival like most others, full of people cooler than you, doing some relatively mild drugs but mostly just listening to music and making sure that people know they're at the festival. Seeing as though it is an outdoor music fest, it's subject to a lot of the unwarranted criticism and disapproval from people who don't have a clear understanding of fun. The super conservative website, ChristWire.org has recently published an article on their site warning readers about the dangers of Coachella. It's from a seriously over-the-top group, so it's not like we're debunking some CNN article, but it's fun to see such intense exaggeration. You can read the whole article here, but if you're embarrassed to have that website in your history, then check out a few highlights from the piece:
By:Jim Tews|January 12, 2012
GIF Attack!
This is my way of telling you that I'm currently watching Goonies on Blu-Ray. Booyah.
By:Luis Prada|January 12, 2012
Questions and Comments The Woman With Two Vaginas Probably Hears A Lot
I was reading a news story today about a woman named Hazel Jones. She’s got two vaginas. Two of them. It's called uterus didelphys. It’s an incredibly rare phenomenon, as you can guess. One thing I couldn’t help but think about as I read this article was how she must get treated by people when they find out about her…I guess we can call it a “condition.” I really don’t know what to call it. Condition sounds too serious. She has two vaginas, not two AIDS.
By:Luis Prada|January 12, 2012
25 Celebrities With Whom You Can Go on a Cruise
Nothing beats a cruise - stuck at sea for days at a time with $20 beers, screaming kids and the ever present threat of the Kraken. But it's all worthwhile if you shell out the bucks to cruise with your favorite celebrity! Assuming your favorite celebrity is one of these guys.
By:Ian Fortey|January 12, 2012
The Faces of Method Acting
Method acting, also known as Lewising Daniel’s Day, DeNiro’s Crank, the Snipes and Hillbilly Cheddar, is an immersive family of acting techniques characterized by the creation of real emotions within the actor that enables true to life performances, and batshit insanity.
By:Ian Fortey|January 12, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Sh*t Nobody Says
Of all the shit videos, this is one of the few that was actually amusing. Now let's stop this trend.
By:Ian Fortey|January 12, 2012
GIF Attack!
So...yeah. This is a thing. It exists. Someone did this. Someone added rainbows to this guy's latex-clad junk as he gyrated his hips in a vaguely sexual manner. Thank you, internet.
By:Luis Prada|January 11, 2012
Five Retro Hostess Commercials, In Honor Of Hostess Bakery Declaring Bankruptcy
It's been a really tough year for the snack food industry. First there was the loss of Dorito's creator Arch West who passed away not long ago, and now Hostess is filing for bankruptcy. If you're not familiar with Hostess products, then you're probably not reading this website. They're the creators of Twinkies, Ho-Ho's, and mysteriously non-perishable fruit pies.
By:Jim Tews|January 11, 2012
Holytaco Buzz: Snuggler IRL
If the Snuggler was fused with the still un-caught Bed Intruder, it'd be Agustin Sanchez. He snuck into his ex girlfriends home and forced her to snuggle with him on Sunday, hoping to rekindle their romance (or maybe just looking for a good snug). Either way, his ex apparently wasn't having it and called the cops. With any luck, Snuggling is just a misdemeanor and not a felony. Lord knows we all need a good forced cuddle every now and then.
By:Noah G|January 11, 2012
Getting Into Your Pants: The Holy Taco Pants Guide
Research tells us that you, Holy Taco reader, are likely wearing pants. In fact, 67% of you wear pants when you read our site. OR DO YOU?!?! You do. But are they really pants? Or are they trousers? Or some other leg-embracing textile we don’t even know the name of yet, like Sloots or Cotton Jimmies? Use this handy guide and you’ll never wonder again what two-legged beast is choking on your waist.
By:Ian Fortey|January 11, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Seems Easy Enough
I'd do this too, if I had any idea what just happened.
By:Ian Fortey|January 11, 2012
A Deep Voice Doesn’t Mean He Has A High Sperm Count, Says Science
You know how you’ll meet a guy with a really deep voice and you think to yourself, perhaps out loud, “Man, I bet he shoots massive loads bursting with gagillions of sperm cells.” Of course you think that. That’s a thing literally all of us have thought, and at many different points in our lives. In fact, there is rarely a day that goes by in which we don’t think about deep, sultry male voices and the loads and loads of sperm that always seem to travel with them.
By:Luis Prada|January 10, 2012
GIF Attack!
Oh, yeah. You know what this thing's doing. Oh, yeah. Eating a sub sandwich. Mmm. Dick subs.
By:Luis Prada|January 10, 2012
Five Lies I’ve Told To People On Airplanes
Airports are pretty boring. They're basically overpriced shopping malls that subject imprisoned travelers to super expensive cinnamon buns, popular books by unpopular people and really awful souvenirs. Airports are also full of people, sometimes interesting people, sometimes really boring people, but they all have some sort of back story.
By:Jim Tews|January 10, 2012
25 Awful Spokesthings
Choosing the right mascot or spokesman if of vital importance. A good one can carry you for decades, look at Alec Baldwin, he's represented the Baldwins forever. But a poorly thought out, creepy, weird ass spokesthing is an affront to the public whose business you want.
By:Ian Fortey|January 10, 2012
6 Depressing Home Made Sex Toys
Our good friends at Fleshlight are kind enough to send us disembodied vaginas on a semi-regular basis that we can either try or put googly eyes on, on a case by case basis. But the Fleshlight is also pretty much the pinnacle of the affordable, modern sex toy game. After that there’s just those ultra-realistic, multi-thousand dollar real Doll sex dolls that are unspeakably creepy and sad. But what if you, like our intern, are deathly afraid of sex shops and are unable to obtain credit with which to make online purchases, but you still are so very horny for polymer-based sexual release? Necessity is the mother of invention, and crafty pervs the world over have come up with numerous homemade sex toy options! It’s just that some make our soul frown.
By:Ian Fortey|January 10, 2012
The Morning Jolt: Schticky
It's the Shamwow guy. Gotta tell ya, the magic is gone.
By:Ian Fortey|January 10, 2012
Thanks To Photoshop, We Now Know What The Most Beautiful Woman In The World Looks Like
We all have an idea of what the most beautiful man or woman in the world would look like. For example, my perfect female looks like a combination of Anne Hathaway and an X-Box. Yours might be some other combination of famous people and/or video game consoles. Maybe you’re more of a Meryl Streep/Commodore 64 kind of person.
By:Luis Prada|January 9, 2012
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