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GIF Attack!

If you wouldn't play this game, f*ck you.

By:|February 28, 2012


singapore-poster

Updating China’s Hilarious Population Control Slogans!

In China, most couples are only allowed to have one child. Sure, there's a few exceptions, but for the most part, average folks are only allowed a single offspring. As an American, it's oddly unsettling to hear something like that. Your government is going to control your human right? Yeah, pretty much, that's how it goes in a communist country. The most awesome thing about the whole situation is that the Chinese government must constantly remind the people of China that they should help control the population, which they do by using bold slogans on posters and other propaganda. Slogans like this:

By:|February 28, 2012


Rick Perry Visits Iowa State Fair

25 Hungry, Hungry Politicians

At some point in time, campaign managers decided that, if you want a career in politics, people need to see you eating ice cream or corn dogs. So from that we got this whole gallery. Bonus points for Nixon for being extra creepy.

By:|February 28, 2012


HeMan

The Lost He Man Porn Storyboards

Presented without commentary, the lost He Man porn storyboard.

By:|February 28, 2012


13secs

The Morning Jolt: 13 Seconds to Awesome

Wait till 0:11.

By:|February 28, 2012


mans-life-magazine-3

Man’s Life Magazine Covers Will Boost Your Manliness

Are you the type that comes home after a long day of weasel clobbering and damsel saving and wants nothing more than to relax with a fine glass of jet fuel-grade bourbon and read the latest periodical geared toward men like you -- men that enjoy a good weasel clobbering? If so, Regretful Morning has a nice gallery of Man's Life magazine covers for you to gander at while you polish your six shooters and carve a sexy lady for love-making out of a hunk of cherry tree you liberated from the jaws of a demented beaver.

By:|February 27, 2012


Oscars+NBA AllStar Game

18 Things I Should Have Tweeted As I flipped Between The NBA All-Star Game and The Oscars

Flipping between both events, I found myself mashing the two into each other, but never actually writing down and tweeting any of my thoughts. I can’t let good content go to waste, so I am now going to present all of my thoughts here, for you, right now – all in one shot. These are the things I would have tweeted last night as I watched both The Oscars and the NBA All-Star game if I weren’t so lazy.

By:|February 27, 2012


RobotSpiderCPK

Cabbage Patch Kids: Forever Creepy

Now that the worst Oscars ever are over, and all the world's problems are solved, we can go back to focusing on nostalgia! Let's talk about Cabbage Patch Kids. Remember those? Remember how weird-looking they were? Do you even know where they came from? They came from a cabbage patch, in a mythical land where humans have cylindrical limbs and round melon heads. Their mythology, according to Wikipedia, they were all horded and harvested in a hidden cabbage patch to protect them from enslaved in a gold mine (not kidding).

By:|February 27, 2012


5

25 Fast Foods That Want You Dead

With each passing year, fast food companies expend more effort on creating newer, crazier menu items to appeal to a diverse and sometimes completely insane customer base. Some of these things work, some will kill you if you try to eat 2.

By:|February 27, 2012


kenny-powers-walking-down-hall

Working the Kenny Powers Way

Do you know Kenny Powers? You should. Not only is Kenny Powers a formidable force of athletic power, an icon of style, a powerful CEO of a major shoe company and a connoisseur of awesome haircuts, he’s a role model. Is this sarcastic? As Kenny might say “f*ck no.” Only that asterisk wouldn’t be there. It’d be a u. He’d say the f word. He says it a lot. Like a f*cking role model.

By:|February 27, 2012


oscars-2012-sacha-baron-cohen-dumps-kim-jong-il-s-ashes-on-ryan-seacrest

The Morning Jolt: Kim Jong Il on the Red Carpet

The only semi-watchable moment of the Oscars happened before the show, when Sacha Baron Cohen was kind enough to mildly prank Ryan Seacrest.

By:|February 27, 2012


satcomic38th

Zoology

The thing you need to remember about Zoology is that goats will bite.

By:|February 26, 2012


slapbot

Sunday Comics

Sunday is the day that Jesus put aside to read comics.

By:|February 26, 2012


Oscars1

Holy Taco Draws the News: The Oscars

Tomorrow are the Academy Awards. Please take today to work with friends and family to build up the ability to give a damn.

By:|February 25, 2012


JK-Rowling

Five Potential Premises for JK Rowling’s New Book

JK Rowling has officially taken a leap into writing for grown-ups. I guess no more wizards and what not. Luckily, she's been freed up by the success of the Potter franchise, so that she can focus on more personal projects. She's got all the time and money she needs, and I'm sure this last project was written from a room the size of a house, on a MacBook made of gold. She's decided not to divulge any information as to what the book will be about. She hasn't even given fans a release date. While we sit and patiently wait for the movie about the book to come out (we hate reading books), we've been speculating on what the premise could be. Using a mix of Rowling's history and current book trends, we've come up with a few possibilities:

By:|February 24, 2012


thumb

25 Funny Restaurant Signs

Oh you kids and your chalk, you so crazy.

By:|February 24, 2012


hypnorape1

Holy Taco Does Vegas

(We sent our boy Ian Cheesman to Las Vegas thanks to the help of the good people at Harley Davidson to experience everything the city has to offer. This is what he came back with. There's butts in walls and a lion.)

By:|February 24, 2012


meaning-of-robots

The Morning Jolt: Meaning of Robots (NSFW)

This guy reminds me of my dad.

By:|February 24, 2012


wtf-1

Pictures That Desperately Need Captions

Have you ever seen a picture that you felt desperately needed a caption? Well, Regretful Morning is giving you your chance. They've got a gallery of 11 pictures so strange the captions practically write themselves.

By:|February 23, 2012


RemoteControlBidet

The Future Of Bathroom Technology

We're all slightly above pooping in holes at this point. We have to assume that if you're here, reading this and using the internet, you, at the very least, own a real toilet. If you don't, please stop reading this (after clicking on several ads from our sponsors) then go do something to improve your living situation. For those of us who are already riding the porcelain, we're looking for an upgrade. Here's a few options for your consideration:

By:|February 23, 2012