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WALKINGCARL

The Walking Carl: Chapter 2

Dear Diary, Took a walk back to the farm today and got a couple of eggs. My Junior Bastard Scouts Guide helped me design a rudimentary calendar and as near as I can tell it’s Easter weekend, so I figured we could do an Easter Egg hunt. My mom’s never good at finding hidden eggs, she just stands in the kitchen and yells “Egg? EGG! Has anyone seen egg?” but I thought the rest of us could have some fun.

By:|April 9, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Jim Gaffigan’s Easter

Hope you had a good weekend.

By:|April 9, 2012


2012-04-04-Buni easter

Buni

It's Easter, of course there's a Buni comic

By:|April 7, 2012


owId3

The GIF Hole

That was a great episode. Also GIFS!!!

By:|April 6, 2012


Dealership waiting room

An Ode To Waiting For An Oil Change At The Dealership

Oh, waiting room at the dealership filled with various deadened souls staring blankly at pasty walls as the thick scent of stale coffee hangs in the air. You are what I, and probably most of us, imagine limbo to be. It’s a nether realm between joy and torment. The joy exists in the hope that at any given minute our car will be ready, and we will ride away from this room that is perpetually frozen in time. The torment exists in the fact that, without a car and without friends to pick us up, this room will be our lives for the foreseeable future.

By:|April 6, 2012


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My Twitter Nemesis: M Night Shyamalan

Read this - M Night Shyamalan had a meteoric rise to fame then proceeded to make nothing but shitty movies. TWIST ENDING! That was a tweet you won’t find on twitter. Know why? It was eaten by the internet. That’s not true, I posted it as a reply to someone else but, for whatever reason, I could not tweet it directly. This is not the first time this has happened.

By:|April 6, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Sticky Buddy

This is what you get for ripping off the Shamwow guy!

By:|April 6, 2012


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Terrible News For Nerds: Jocks Are Actually Smart

High school is a trying time for some, and the best of times for others. As the old stereotype goes, the jocks are dumb and the nerds will inherit the earth. But science has proven at least one of those stereotypes wrong.

By:|April 5, 2012


ZCgOI

The GIF Hole

Don't you hate it when you go to a game and the guy in front of you is also wearing a green, stretchy full body stocking?

By:|April 5, 2012


tlc

Pitching 5 New Shows to TLC

If you know anything about me it’s that I start a lot of articles with this joke. But you may also know I have a fascination with TLC, the one-time Learning Channel. Like KFC when they dropped “chicken” from the name and started using possum meat (allegedly), TLC had to drop the learning moniker when it became clear their audience was made up of people whose IQs were just rolling back like an odometer at a shady autobody joint.

By:|April 5, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Google Glasses

Ahh, Google glasses. Probably nothing like this.

By:|April 5, 2012


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The GIF Hole

Oh, GIFS, you're so animated. But yeah, that dolphin's totally ramming that person.

By:|April 4, 2012


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Troll Hunter: Arizona Wants Ban Internet Trolling

Internet trolls suck. Trolls can make the internet really fun. Both of those opinions have some truth to them, like most things in life. So, what does Arizona want to do? Screw’em all and start making it illegal to troll on the internet in any way, shape, or form, simply because someone might get offended. They’re doing this as a part of Arizona’s new “We Don’t Understand How The World Works And We’re Frightened By Change” initiative that aims to make Arizona the perfect state for old people that think ethnic people were born out of the bacteria crapped out by white people and the human race should have stopped innovating when we created the telegraph.

By:|April 4, 2012


WALKINGCARL

The Walking Carl: Chapter 1

Dear Diary, Dad’s pretty angry with everyone right now. I think it’s because everyone seems to be a dipshit but I can’t be sure (I’m Carl, after all). We had to leave the farm after dad and I accidentally lead the entire undead population of Georgia to Mr. Herschel’s farm. Even Mr. Herschel’s extremely well loaded shotgun couldn’t keep them all away, there were just that many. I suggested we all go for a walk in the woods, it seems to keep me out of trouble when stuff is going on, but I don’t think anyone heard me over all the screaming. It’s sad that some people died, too, but it’s also weird that none of us knew their names.

By:|April 4, 2012


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The Morning Jolt: Zombie Ass (NSFW)

I guess this is a real thing. I want to think it's insane and awesome, but I bet I couldn't sit through the whole thing.

By:|April 4, 2012


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It’s a Prank Contest! (The contest is not a prank)

Do you like the pranks? Check this contest out!

By:|April 3, 2012


Girls Girls Grils

A Breakdown Of Vince Neil’s Commercial For His New Las Vegas Strip Club

Low budget commercials are one of the many things the internet feeds off of. If you had a silly low budget commercial featuring a man screaming in the face of a cute kitten about the low prices of his mattresses, Youtube servers would shut down and global work productivity would screech to a halt. On March 30th, the world was given yet another low budget local commercial, but this one has some star power behind hit: Vince Neil, lead singer of Motley Crue. And this isn’t a commercial for just any mom-and-pop local business – this is for Girls, Girls, Girls, Vince Neil’s very own strip club.

By:|April 3, 2012


murphsand

Saving the Lives of Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy: A Proposal

Fact: Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy were both funny men. You can argue that this is not fact and to you I say “wrong” and then you respond with “Holy taco, you are right. You’re always right,” and look, here it is published for all time and if people Google it they will see that you agreed so let’s not even get off on the wrong foot with an argument.

By:|April 3, 2012


shitkid

The Morning Jolt: Pick Your Time to Beat this Kid

Seriously, at what point in time would you have just started bouncing this kid's head off the window?

By:|April 3, 2012


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The Dangers of Being Socially Awkward

Our friends at Stick It In The What have released another fantastic sketch, this time on the subject of loosing your shit when someone dares to make you feel awkward by talking to you.

By:|April 2, 2012


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