And This Is What The Joker Would Look Like If He Were A Creepy Baby Doll
Hey, remember how Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker in The Dark Knight was really creepy and unnerving? Yeah, well, now it’s a baby. Ha! Now try to get to sleep! We’re just layering creepy on top of creepy at this point because we’ve gotten tired of the old clichés of creepiness. We all hate the vapid, cold stares of porcelain baby dolls, and we all think clowns are scary, so, hey, why not combine the vaguely murderous visage of a dead-eyed baby doll with the clothing and makeup of the most terrifying clown from recent pop culture memory? And, on top of all that, let’s make it 1:6 scale. 1:6 scale as compared to what, you ask? It’s 1:6 the creepiness you would feel if this thing were life sized, posed innocuously in the corner of your bed room, in that one spot where the little bit of light that cuts through your window blinds splashes across the doll’s eyes at 3:30 AM. So, imagine all that, just 1:6 of it. And with guns.
By:Luis Prada|December 28, 2011
GIF Attack!
Yup. And that's what it was like to play Sonic the Hedgehog on the Sega Genesis back in 1994, kids.
By:Luis Prada|December 28, 2011
What You Could Buy With The $206-Million Mega Millions Jackpot, If You’d Actually Won It
We're not here to rub it in your face, but you didn't win the Mega Millions. We know that because only one guy won it, he's in New York, rich people don't read Holy Taco, and you're not rich (we know that because we're inside you.) The Mega Millions is a multi-state lottery game with monstrous jackpots. This time around, it was $206-Million, and the winner was a New Yorker. If he takes the cash option, he'll only walk away with a measly $151.9 Million after taxes. That's still more money than you will ever see in your entire life. If you are someone, or you know someone with that kind of money, then you shouldn't be reading this. You should be taking a bath in one-hundred dollar bills and blaming poor people for their own problems. It's fun/depressing to think about what one could do with such a huge sum of money. You could feed a nation and change the world, or you could do something hilarious and eccentric...
By:Jim Tews|December 28, 2011
Fire It Up
Why You Don't Light Fireworks Indoors - Watch MoreFunny Videos Get Your Fries Squeeze (truTV) Veronika Fasterova Hotness (TotallyCrap) Carly Craig Hotness (Maxim) This Years Golden Globes Snubs (Ranker) Matrix Style Downloads Are Real! (FunnyCrave) Hilary Duff is Huge (Popoholic) The Hottest Canadians Out There (Linkiest) Russians Montage of Destruction (BroBible) A Womans Needs (LulzShirts) If Masturbation Were Illegal…(Guyism) 9 Laughable Photoshop Fails (RegretfulMorning) The Worst Parents On TV (TheSmokingJacket) Nurse Quest (AdultSwim) McDonalds > Burger King (TheDailyWhat) Ali Lohan: Eating Disorder? (CelebSlam) Brett Easton Ellis Wants American Psycho Remake (FilmDrunk) Awkward Wedding Photos (SuperBooyah) Iraq War is Ovah! (IAmBored) 5 New Archer Promos (ScreenJunkies)
By:Noah G|December 28, 2011
25 Awful Nature Sweaters
Oh sorry, did we say awful? We meant awesome. Awesome sweaters.
By:Ian Fortey|December 28, 2011
2012 End of the World Preparedness Guide
So 2011 is just about over but more importantly, it’s the last full year any of us will ever get to experience. 2012 is the end of everything if morons are to be believed, and when are morons ever wrong? No, the world is coming to an end in just under a year so it would behoove us all to start 2012 prepared for how all of existence will end. Do you need to be in a bomb shelter, do you need bottled water, should you start having sex with all your friends in dirty back alleys? So many questions. Lucky for you, Holy Taco has answers. Grab a drink and get ready for the End of the World!
By:Ian Fortey|December 28, 2011
The Morning Jolt: Punching Bag Robbery
The best part of this comes at the end when you find out he made the dude clean up his own blood. Oh, um, spoiler.
By:Ian Fortey|December 28, 2011
One Lucky SOB
Lucky Driver On Icy Roads - Watch MoreFunny Videos Behold, The Bizarre Bait Car (truTV) Willa Holland Hotness (Maxim) Kim Jong Il Internet Reactions (Ranker) Whitney Port Is Getting Hotter And Hotter (Ranker) Things You Should Know About Online Dating (TheSmokingJacket) Why Wasn’t Breaking Bad Nominated? (FunnyCrave) A Dog Shaking In Water (RegretfulMorning) Runaway Cart Bowling (TotallyCrap) Sex…With A Raccoon? (Lulzshirts) The Hottest Photoshoots of 2011 (BroBible) For Your Catsideration (TheDailyWhat) Brooke Burke’s Sex Life (CelebSlam) Why Santa Is Not A Good Holiday Icon (Guyism) Michelle Mayden Hotness (GorillaMask) 25 Awkward Wedding Photos (SuperBooyah) Holiday Gifts That Will Send A Message (AdultSwim) Florida Teen Destroys Stores (IAmBored) Dexter’s 9 Greatest Kills (ScreenJunkies) The Worst Movies of 2011 (FilmDrunk)
By:admin|December 27, 2011
The 7 People You Meet In A Mall Riot
Mall of America is one of America’s temples -- our holy lands, if you will -- of consumerism. It’s like a cathedral constructed to honor the gods of credit cards, seasonal sales, and big plates of generic food court Chinese food. A gang of ruffians incited a riot in the Mall of America in Minnesota on Monday, thus sullying one of our holiest of holies. Was this riot sparked by some fed up Occupy Wallstreeters rallying against corporate greed and consumerism? Was this a Tea Party demonstration that got out of control? NOPE! It was all because some people thought Lil’Wayne and Drake were in the mall. Not even to perform. Someone thought two musicians were in the mall to shop, so everyone robbed each other as a response. And their presence in the Mall of America wasn’t even confirmed. Some guy probably just made up some bullshit and everyone lost their minds, like some form of unexplainable case of hip hop-centric mass hysteria; as if when the words “Drake” and “Lil’Wayne” are spoken in the same sentence it triggers our dormant hypnotic suggestion and it makes us kill. Ultimately, no one actually knows how the riot was sparked. The idea of a riot in a mall is silly to me, for some reason. Having grown up surrounded by malls and mall culture I like to imagine the various mall stereotypes as action figure characters.
By:Luis Prada|December 27, 2011
7 Things To Avoid On New Year’s Eve
New Year's Eve is fast approaching everyone! What are you going to do? Where are you going to party? Who are you going to regrettably make out with? So many questions! It's understandable, I mean, you want to send off the old year and bring in the new one in as memorable a way possible. I prefer to let the end of the old year and the beginning of the new one blend together in a noisy, grey fog of drunk people, but that's always a bad idea. I'd love to tell you how to do New Year's Eve right, but given my past, I'm much more qualified to tell you what not to do. I could probably compile a list of mistakes I've made on this one night every year since I was old enough to make my own decisions. However, this is the internet and people don't have the attention spans to read through a list that long. So, we've narrowed it down to our top ten. Use this as a handy guide to keep your New Year's Eve safe and free from life-altering mistakes.
By:Jim Tews|December 27, 2011
25 Creative McDonalds Ripoffs
The Golden Arches are one of the most easily identifiable symbols in the world, because mankind is sad like that. It's no wonder then that, while in the Western World McDonalds will sue any restauranteur who dares have a Mc in their name somewhere, in Asian and the Middle East anyone with a piece of beef on a stick is willing to rip off Ronald to make a buck.
By:Ian Fortey|December 27, 2011
Justified or Unjustified: 11 Crazy Laws That Are Still In Place
This great country has a functioning democracy (for the most part). What that means is that we all get to pitch in once in a while and figure out what we can all agree is right or wrong in our society. We get to have a hand in creating the laws in our cities and even in our country. Unfortunately, a lot of these laws go unreviewed for long periods of time and they stay on the books when they become irrelevant. Also, a handful of them just don’t seem logical. In honor of the release of Justified: The Complete Second Season on Blu-ray & DVD, here’s a list of wacked out laws from around the U.S. some justified, others not…
By:Jim Tews|December 27, 2011
The Morning Jolt: Interview with Elijah Wood
This is an Easter egg from the Return of he King DVD. It's pretty awesome.
By:Ian Fortey|December 27, 2011
25 Boxing Day Boxes
It's Boxing Day in Canada and the UK and that means people who spell neighbor with a "u" are all out there drinking milk from bags and giving their servants boxes to collect their tears. Here's 25 boxes to inspire them to greatness!
By:Ian Fortey|December 26, 2011
2011 in Christmas Sex on the Internet
This time of year, the headlines are dominated by seasonal fluff. If you want to make your fluff standout, you need to put in the extra effort required to make it titillating and nothing elates tits more than a bit of the old Christmas nasty. With the help of our intern masters Google, we’re able to see, as of 7PM EST on Christmas day, just what the world’s been posting online with the keywords “Christmas sex.” Will the results be awesome? Let’s look!
By:Ian Fortey|December 26, 2011
Ho Ho…Oh
Where has the staff at Holy Taco been all day? Shaving our legs to pose for this picture. Merry Christmas, kiddies!
By:Ian Fortey|December 23, 2011
25 Gifts That May Have Been Wrapped by the Blind
Christmas is just about here and if you're like us, your hands are useless meat stumps that can't wrap a present any better than this.
By:Ian Fortey|December 23, 2011
Merry Christmas from Holy Taco
And now, a Christmas poem, by the Holy Taco staff...
By:Ian Fortey|December 23, 2011
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