Explore Holy Taco
no photo

Porno and Christian Dating: Together At Last

Our friends at Wallstreetfighter.com have come across quite a discovery.  Penthouse Media Group has gone ahead and purchased bigchurch.com, a christian dating site.  To read more, go here.

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

Sex And The City Movie Crapaganza!

A few years ago, my penis and I wrote up a contract laying out some basic rules both of us needed to follow. Some of the highlights were, "I, Penis, hereby promise to not become erect when at any beach and or water park," and "I, Justin, state that I will not use any sock in excess of 3 years of age no matter the laundry situation or time constraints, when performing my mandatory mastabatorial duties." Well, the last article of the contract clearly states "If there were to be released, a theatrical version of the television show "Sex And The City," and host party were to view it, the contract in its entirety would become null and void." Hence, I ain't going to see this movie. But listen to how awesome it sounds! People.com reports: The Sex and the City movie is the cinematic fashion event of the summer , a rumored 81 costume changes for Sarah Jessica Parker alone! I remember when the same rumor came out about Schlindler's List! How could you possibly have one character, in a two hour movie, be in 81 different costumes. Let's see here.... Well, they're probably going to want to appeal to the male demographic, so we may see something like this: Then of course there's the scene where Carrie wins the Kentucky Derby

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

VH1 Tells Us Why Sex Is Awesome

Normally, the only thing I watch on TV are sports and informercials involving Chuck Norris or this guy. But at 10 p.m. tonight VH1 is airing a very important and informative documentary on the sexual revolution titled, oddly enough, Sex: The Revolution. So, let the kids stay up late, gather the family around the boob tube and reminisce about the days before it was normal to hear your grandmother talk openly about masturbating. (Maybe the revolution wasn't such a great thing.) Check out a clip here. Also, yes, I did use a photo of a shirtless Mark Messier touching Gary Coleman in reference to sex. Enjoy it.

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

vh1 gary coleman mark messier

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

Jenna Bush About To Get Her Ass Taxed

In what was a enormous surprise, Jenna Bush, daughter of former Texas Rangers owner George W. Bush, got married to a Caucasian male from a wealthy family.  People.com reports: The ultra-private wedding on Bush's gated ranch was the president's first turn at playing Father of the Bride. In a suit and tie, Preisdent Bush walked his 26-year-old daughter down the aisle to a limestone altar topped by a 4-ft. cross where she and Henry Hager, 30, exchanged vows just as the sun set. Weddings are boring as dogshit, and the only way they're not boring as dogshit is if you get hammered.  And I'm pretty sure no one is allowed to get more wasted than G. W.  It's like when there's a cop driving on the freeway, no one passes them.   Anyway, if real life was more like a movie, then two wiiiiild and crazy single guys would definitely crash this wedding seeing as there's some hot rich-girl action to be had.  I'm thinking something along the lines of this: At first Osama and Mahmoud would be like "listen, we get in, we bang some chicks, we pray, we bang some more chicks, we pray, then we get out."  Osama would meet Bush's other daughter and she'd give him an HJ in the Bush Family horse stables, and he'd be like "Mahmoud, let's go out, we're out."  But Mahmoud would have fallen in love with Jenna and demand they stay for just a little longer.  Then Osama would go on a 45 second rant filled with witticisms and references to EA sports video games.  He'd give in though, and they'd stay, which would produce hilarious scenes where they have to hide out in costume like this: And this:

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

8 Surprisingly Hot Wikipedia Entries

Did you know that this online encyclopedia can also be a place to find surprisingly hot women and other sexy stuff? Here's eight of the most surprisingly hot articles currently on Wikipedia. Tanga - What's a tanga? I have no idea, but it has something to do with underwear and it'll lead you right to a hot-ass Wiki page with a bunch of cuties in thongs. Gluteal cleft - The gluteal cleft is described as "the groove or crack between the buttocks that runs from just below the sacrum to the perineum." If that doesn't get you turned on, the picture of this anonymous hottie's backside accompanying this Wiki definitely will. Saint Andrew's Cross , Boring religious artifact or some weird/hot bondage thing with a woman tied to it? One way to find out. (Hint: this is Holy Taco, not the Holy Bible).

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

surprisingly hot wiki pages

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

surprisingly hot wiki pages

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

surprisingly hot wiki pages

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

surprisingly hot wiki pages

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

surprisingly hot wiki pages

By:|May 11, 2008


no photo

surprisingly hot wiki pages

By:|May 11, 2008