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Nikki Cox’s Head And Lips Never Stopped Growing

And now, a letter from my penis... Dear Nikki Cox (and other Hollywood Starlets), Please stop doing weird things to your face and head. I do not understand why you feel the need to constantly screw (no pun intended) with yourselves. You're already attractive. Stop filling every crevice with collagen or botulism or pig feces or whatever the hell those crackpot doctors use to try and make you look younger. I would prefer you just look like a normal person who's 29, than a bloated, alien horse (with a very nice body, I might add) who's screaming for her younger years. Because the bad news is, people who get plastic surgery don't look younger or sexier (except for Ashlee Simpson), they just look like people who've had plastic surgery. I don't ask for a lot. A warm (and moist) place to lie my head, and a human face to think about while my head is lying there. So please, lay off the cosmetic surgery. For me. Love, My Penis PS: This rant does not include breast implants.

By:|May 15, 2008


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Cheryl Cole/Tweedy

Age: 24 Where you've seen her: Cheryl Cole is in some crappy English girl group called The Spice Girls Aloud...or something. Also, since she's married to soccer/footballer megastar Ashley Cole, she won FHM's "Sexiest Footballer's Wife." I'm not sure what the trophy for that award looks like, but I hope it's a a large foot going up David Beckham's ass. (I know that wouldn't make much sense, but I just want to see that trophy.) Pointless quote that explains why she has two names: "I will now be known as Cheryl Cole. After all, if my friend in an office married her boyfriend, she'd take his name - and I don't see there's any difference with me. see more at Derekhail.com

By:|May 15, 2008


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nikki cox head lips stopped growing

By:|May 15, 2008


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nikki cox head lips stopped growing

By:|May 15, 2008


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nikki cox head lips stopped growing

By:|May 15, 2008


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nikki cox head stopped growing

By:|May 15, 2008


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Link Time

Purdue football player can't afford condoms (busted coverage) Romania has attractive TV presenters (camel tap) Amazing Kiss performance (coedmagazine) The hottest college girl has been named (college humor) Reh Dogg's conspiracy theories revealed (double viking) He's got a man cold (I-am-bored) Emmanuel Chirique is topless (egotastic) Monica Leigh estas caliente (hornyoyster) Christina Aguilera has large mammaries (hollywood tuna) Rules for fist bumping (tastybooze) It sucks when you make less money than your friends MMA fighters not making as much as you'd think Pretty awesome container explosions

By:|May 14, 2008


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Mariah Carey Has Doody Guards

There's two things I fear in life; this old neighbor I used to have that told me on two different occassions that sometimes he "wished he could just wear my face," and people screwing with me while I'm taking a crap.  Mariah Carey only has to worry about one of those.  Exposay.com reports: Mariah Carey reportedly demanded a guarded private toilet during her wedding reception. The 'Touch My Body' singer - who secretly married rapper Nick Cannon in the Bahamas on April 30 - is said to have specifically asked for the exclusive facilities at Los Angeles' Six Flags Magic Mountain Theme Park on Tuesday night. You know, normally I tend to get a little riled up at the pampering of celebrities, but if I was rich, I swear to God I would have bodyguards with me just to stand outside while I shit.  There is NO more vulnerable time for a human being than when they're shitting.  Think about it, take the most badass person you can think of, Chuck Norris, Bruce lee, whoever.  Then imagine you attacking them right in the middle of them taking a shit.  Yeah, that's right, you probably win that fight because NO ONE, not Norris, not Lee, wants to get up from the pot while they have a shitty ass.  So basically, I feel Mariah on this one. Anyway,  this got me to thinking.  Mariah hasn't had a good movie in....well, she's never had a good movie.  And this sounds a lot like another movie that was incredibly successful.  And we all know how much studios like to make sequels to movies, so I can definitely see something like this:

By:|May 14, 2008


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By:|May 14, 2008


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cheryl tweedy cole sexy bikini

By:|May 14, 2008


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By:|May 14, 2008


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cheryl tweedy cole sexy bikini

By:|May 14, 2008


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By:|May 14, 2008


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cheryl tweedy cole sexy bikini

By:|May 14, 2008


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cheryl tweedy sexy bikini

By:|May 14, 2008


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Kim Kardashian’s Breasts Fighting Ass For Attention

Jesus. Is everything on Kim Kardashian enormous? We all know she has an ass the size of Uranus, but who knew she had a rack the size of her ass? I did not. OK, well, I did, but that's only because I watched a video of her having sex. via hollywoodtuna.com

By:|May 14, 2008


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By:|May 14, 2008


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By:|May 14, 2008


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kim kardashian bikini sexy

By:|May 14, 2008


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By:|May 14, 2008


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