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Holy Taco Comment Of The Week

A great week of comments I must say. There were several that could have won, but this isn't a San Diego Padres game and I'm not part of the Pad Squad, thus I can't just go shooting a bunch of crappy t-shirts into a sea of you people. There can be only one winner. This week, the winning comment came on the Eva Mendes Topless post. WINNER: Kody COMMENT: kody Says: May 9th, 2008 at 12:49 am this is why i pay 35 grand a year to go to art school New contest starts right now.

By:|May 8, 2008


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By:|May 8, 2008


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Hulk Hogan’s Son Put In Headlock By Judge

When I was younger, I always thought it would be really cool if Hulk Hogan was my dad.  But I also used to want to live in a house made of fruit roll ups.  In retrospect, they both seem kind of like bad ideas.  Usmagazine.com reports: Nick Bollea (Hogan's son) was sentenced to eight months in Florida's Pinellas County Jail for felony reckless driving Thursday after pleading no contest in in court. This is one of the first times in recent memory I've heard of a celebrity or a child of a celebrity, actually serving jail time.  That's a good move going by Nick Bollea because you gotta figure in jail, the fewer reasons some has to rape you, the better off you are.  Thus, if somebody was like "I can either rape one of these two men, but I'm undecided at this point," and someone came up to him and was like "That one is Hulk Hogan's son," I think that's enough to cause said rapist to be like "Well, all things being equal, I'd rather rape someone of note." I still can't believe he actually got sentenced.  It makes me wonder who the judge was. Very uncool Macho Man, very uncool.

By:|May 8, 2008


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By:|May 8, 2008


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By:|May 8, 2008


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By:|May 8, 2008


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Happy Mother’s Day

Mother's Day - Watch more free videos It's Mother's Day this Sunday and we all know what that's going to be like. There will be a lot of guilt, crying, complaining, threats of divorce, threats of bodily harm, actual bodily harm, and some wonderful family time. There will also be a lot of disappointment about your choice of career and/or girlfriend. From the same people that brought you The Christmas Tree, this video does a good job of showing the world how most of New Jersey spends its Mother's Day (chin stubble included.)

By:|May 8, 2008


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Someone Point Kim Kardashian To Hell

So, a cyclone hits Burma/Myanmar and kills upwards of 100,000 people and Kim Kardashian is like, "you know what would be really cool? To do a lighthearted PSA about it where I deliver scripted jokes about it then segue into me reciting scripted facts about it with my sisters." Then she hired a couple writers from According to Jim and had them bang a script out for her. Kim Kardashian may be mentally retarded. And I'm not saying that as a joke, I'm saying seriously, she might be "wear a jacket and helmet with your name on it, have trouble eating peanut butter" mentally retarded. I'm going to go ahead and give just a few rules for making a PSA about any kind of disaster/tragedy that kills thousands of people. Here goes: Don't start the PSA with the same music that you'd use for a Disney style montage of someone getting ready for their senior prom. Don't start out with a joke where you confuse the name of the country where the disaster happened. "An earthquake rocked Uruguay and 100,000 people were buried alive in their homes." "Did you just call me gay, haha?!" See, doesn't work. While reciting facts about government sponsored murders, avoid doing it in front of a mirror while trying on a dress and seeing if it's adequately showing off your breasts.

By:|May 8, 2008


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Wheel Of Fortune Is A Moron’s Game

Wheel Of Fortune Moron - Watch more free videos In the pantheon of game shows, Wheel of Fortune doesn't require the highest amount of brain power. It's no Mastermind or Jeopardy. Hell, it's not as difficult as Press Your Luck. I'm not sure if they even have qualifications to get on the aside from "Can you stand upright for 25 minutes?" and "Do you know what a 'person' is?" And that's how you get contestants like this. via i-am-bored.com

By:|May 8, 2008


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Taco Belle: Sophie Howard

Age: 25 Where you've seen her: Sophie Howard, seen here at the Nuts Awards in England, is known for something...but I can't seem to quite remember what it is. Is it her eyes? Hmmm, I don't think so. Man, it's on the tip of my tongue. Umm, here smile? Noooooo. Oh, now I remember. Her ginormous breasts. Pointless quote: "I went to a good Catholic school, and was in the Salvation Army until I was 16. I didn't touch drink, drugs or boys , and then, at 17, I became a stripper!" via hornyoyster

By:|May 8, 2008


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sophie howard sexy breasts boobs

By:|May 8, 2008


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sophie howard sexy breasts boobs

By:|May 8, 2008


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sophie howard sexy breasts boobs

By:|May 8, 2008


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sophie howard sexy breasts boobs

By:|May 8, 2008


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slophie howard breasts

By:|May 8, 2008


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Link Time

Kyle Orton is really really drunk (busted Coverage) Attack of the 40 foot Claudia (Camel Tap) Hardly Working: American Psychos (college humor) Gemma Atkinson at the beach (coedmagazine) Vanilla Ice's wife calls (double viking) Sophie Howard in Nuts Magazine (hornyoyster) This is bizarre (weak game) Computer technology is awesome (i-am-bored) One pissed off maid (tasty booze) Cobra Commander is quite a speaker (gavin purcell) Biz babe Ivanka Trump Chris Leben is staying in jail

By:|May 7, 2008


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Man To Be Buried In Pabst Blue Ribbon Coffin

Dying blows, so I'm always excited when someone does something fun with their corpse like take it sky diving or feed it to the homeless. That's why I said a prayer for Bill Bremanti....well, I will when he finally dies. According to blog.makzine.com: 67-year-old Illinois native, Bill Bramanti built his future coffin in the shape of a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer can because he just really loves the beer. Until he passes away, he's using the coffin as a beer cooler, but admits that he has actually gotten inside the coffin to test the size. He even threw a party where he used the coffin to store beers for his friends. Bravo, Bill. It's nice to see that you are going to the grave in a life-sized representation of what undoubtedly sent you to the grave. Can't you go to the hereafter in a beer coffin that has a little quality? Whenever I drink PBR I wake up the next day feeling like Jesus on Easter. I will personally chip in a few extra dollars so you can upgrade to something fancy like Meister Brau or garbage can fluid. Bill, listen to me. You don't have to spend your last days drinking something that tastes like Brillo Pads and motor oil. This is was what are interventions are for. via liquorsnob.com

By:|May 7, 2008


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Britney Spears Likes Phone Sex

Here's my problem with phone sex: I'm never exactly sure when a dirty question a girl asks is rhetorical or something she actually wants me to answer, so the few times I've tried it, I've ended up killing the mood because she'll say  something like "How do you make me so wet" and I won't answer because I think it's rhetorical, but she'll keep asking until finally I say "Um, I don't know, probably a combination of things?"  MOOD KILLED.  But, apparently Kevin Federline is a lot better at it than me.    Starmagazine.com reports: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have been having weekly steamy phone sex sessions. Recently, when Britney was having a sleepless night, she decided to call Kevin at nearly 2 a.m. While they initially chatted about their boys , Preston, 2, and Jayden, 20 months , the conversation shifted. And as Britney hoped, Kevin knew exactly how to tire her out , with hours of erotic talk! Wait, so, let me understand this.  They were talking about their children and the conversation shifted towards phone sex?  Wow, that's impressive that they can shift like that.  Also very creepy.  How does that even work?  Does it go like this? KEVIN: So, Jayden's doing good.  He's had a little rash on his bum bum but I put some cream on that. BRITNEY: Oh yeah, you put some cream on his bum bum? KEVIN: Yeah that's right girl, I put some cream alllllll over his bum bum.  His bum bum was straight COVERED in cream, girl. BRITNEY: Maybe you can put some of your cream all OVER my bum bum? And then you can imagine where it goes from there.  He puts the cream on her bum bum.

By:|May 7, 2008


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By:|May 7, 2008


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Katherine Heigl, No More Talking For You

Katherine Heigl is on a mission to piss off and alienate everyone who is able to formulate words and thoughts.  Earlier this year she complained about Knocked Up being sexist, even though it basically made her career, and now this: Popsugar.com reports: Katherine Heigl has never been one to keep her thoughts to herself, and the latest is that she's talking about leaving Grey's Anatomy for good. Apparently Katherine is sick of the long hours on set. Oh, she's sick of the long hours on set.  Oh, right, all those long hours acting.  Yesterday I was at the public Library and I went to use the bathroom and a janitor was mopping up human shit off the floor while trying not to bother the homeless guy standing next to him who was half naked showering in the sink.  Maybe I should have asked that Janitor how he felt about Katherine's long hours. Does Katherine Heigl not realize  she's a f-ing ACTOR?  I've been on film sets, they hire people solely to kiss your ass and bring you whatever your little head can dream up, while you sit in a chair and pretend to read something that makes you look smart.  Realize you are lucky to have a good job, and quiet yourself.  Also, I got news for her, once she leaves Grey's Anatomy, no one is going to give two shits about her.  You know how I know that?  Because every time I hear someone reference her they say "that one chick from Grey's Anatomy." Here's her future:  She's going to leave the show, the movie offers are going to dry up, and she's going to have to beg/fellate someone to give her a shitty TV show on some network where she plays a sexy cop who's teamed up with a bear trained to fight crime.  It'll look something like this: On second thought, I'd watch that show.  Go for it Katherine.

By:|May 7, 2008