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By:|May 4, 2008


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By:|May 4, 2008


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By:|May 4, 2008


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By:|May 4, 2008


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By:|May 4, 2008


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By:|May 4, 2008


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Notice Anything Odd About This Woman’s Name?

According to Washington's heraldnet.com: LYNNWOOD -- Marci Milfs went to Urban Outfitters to find clothes for her teenage son. On one end of the spectrum was "Porn for Women," a photo book showing men doing housework. She was surprised to find sexually charged books that she believes have no place in a clothing store for teens and young adults. "When I saw it, I was shocked," Milfs said. Milfs was so appalled that she is preparing to file a complaint with the city of Lynnwood, and has already aired her frustrations to State Rep. Norma Smith, R-Clinton, and organizations including Morality in Media, Concerned Women of America and the American Family Association. Smith encouraged Milfs to work with Urban Outfitters to resolve the issue. I would like to commend Norma Smith on her stance. I, too, agree that all Milfs should work very hard to resolve any issues they have with Urban Outfitters...or any outfits they may have. [Editor's note: HolyTaco conducted a number of follow-up interviews with Tanya Ballsmoker and Linda Shaftguzzler. Both of whom also agreed with Marci Milfs.]

By:|May 4, 2008


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got milf

By:|May 4, 2008


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Man Eats Big Mac In One Bite

Man Eats Big Mac in One Bite - Watch more free videos I'm not sure if this is supposed to gross me out or make me insanely hungry. Since it makes me insanely hungry, I'm going to go with the latter. via gorillmask.net

By:|May 4, 2008


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Roger Clemens Sorry About All That Sex He Had

Roger Clemens has had a tough few months. After being accused of taking steroids, it's now coming out that he's made the sexytime with many, many, many ladies who weren't his wife over the years. So, instead of denying, he issued this statement today: I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right. I have apologized to my family for my mistakes. And having offered this apology to the public, I would ask that you let me and my family deal with these matters in private." Wouldn't it be nice to have a lawyer write up all of your public apologies? I've heard Roger Clemens speak before and he is a great big hillbilly who isn't nearly this articulate. This is what his apology would look like if it was actually coming out of his mouth: Dear People, I did the sex with women. Some of those women weren't my lady wife. We done it in hotel rooms and at truck stops and other places for years and years. I used the doggy and the missionary styles of awesome sexmoves. And while I did enjoy my sex very much, I understand that you should not have known about it. If I could change any of this, I would change the fact that you heard about this. And, well, shit. I wish you didn't know about me doing my sex with these random strangers and young karaoke singers. I also really, really, really wish my wife didn't hear about this. It is hard for me to do my sex moves on her now. She's mad. Like, real mad. She won't even touch my pocket rocket (geddit?). Which makes me sad. And sorry. Real sorry about that awesome sex stuff I did with all those ladies for all those years. Roger PS: If you see my wife reading a newspaper or watching a television, please make her stop. She seems to get madder at me whenever she does that.

By:|May 4, 2008


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Jennifer Nicole Lee

Age: 32 Where you've seen her: Jennifer Nicole Lee (or JNL to her friends) gained fame after she decided to drop 70 pounds after the birth of her second child and ended up being crowned Miss Bikini America in 2004. Since then she's been on the cover of numerous fitness mags and in MAxima nd FHM. Pointless quote: "Men need to understand that, sometimes being submissive to their female counterpartner can be very sexy -- to kind of dilute the testosterone from, you know, the big 1980s machismo, macho icon -- and that it's not really appealing."

By:|May 4, 2008


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The Atlanta Hawks Are Excited And Yelling

I understood 0% of what he just said, but I enjoyed 100% of it. Game seven!

By:|May 3, 2008


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Geraldo Rivera Wants To Be Fired

Here's what I love about this, you can kinda tell that right after Geraldo makes the joke, he realizes maybe he shouldn't have and is like "just laugh through it, just keep laughing and it will be okay." Also, who the hell still makes the "once you go black" joke? If you think about it, I'm pretty sure that joke is more offensive to people who write jokes than to black people. Also, if he's using that on TV, that means he's using it probably quite a bit in his personal life. Which means he's probably also using "that's what she said," quite a bit as well. Meaning, at some point in time, someone probably had this exchange with Geraldo: WOMAN: I started dating Al Roker. GERALDO: Once you go black you never go back. HAHAHAHAHA. WOMAN: Are you finished? GERALDO: That's what she said. HAHAHAHAHA aaaaand scene.

By:|May 2, 2008


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Friday Link Dump

Random Stuff I Found On The Web This is what happens when network and ad executives do a LOT of cocaine. Why do I imagine the dude taking these pictures is laughing? John Daly is just plain awesome This is a really great list with videos of the 50 funniest movie scenes. I love it when really stoned people end up in the news. I love Hulk Hogan and I love Japanese commercials. Hence, I LOVE this. Link Friends Pretty awesome old fox sports commercial (I-Am-Bored) This is how NOT to score a soccer goal (college humor) Did someone say ASU undie run? (busted Coverage) Carmen Electra still has IT (camel tap) A ridiculously hot picture of Angelina Jolie (coedmagazine) Girl FAILS at singing Gwen Stefani's rich girl (double viking) Yoko Matsugane plays nice for the camera (hornyoyster) Teacher wears bikinis and gets fired (tastybooze) Was Kimbo Slice knocked out? The art of faking a hostile take over

By:|May 1, 2008


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By:|May 1, 2008


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By:|May 1, 2008


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By:|May 1, 2008


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Carmen Electra Wins In Landslide

Back by popular demand, the Who Would You Rather Do recap.  This week Carmen Electra demolished Pamela Anderson by a whopping 70 percentage points, winning 85% to 15%.  I think it was the whole, "has hepatitis, videos are avaialable of her doing other dudes" thing that caused her loss. Anyway, here's some ACTUAL comments from real readers: clitwizard Says: April 30th, 2008 at 10:25 am  pam anderson is a walking tranny now. good ol fashion post OP tranny AlcoLOL Says: April 30th, 2008 at 11:29 am   I'd do Carmen, mainly because I haven't seen her stroking a 10 inch dick. Or multiple ones for that matter. Also, I'd feel like I wouldn't have to pay a toll after entering her vagina. white devil Says: May 1st, 2008 at 10:32 am   where is the button for “neither' ?

By:|May 1, 2008


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Comment Of The Week Winner

This weeks winning comment comes from the "Retarded Monkey Gets A Birthday Party" post. Winner: Matt Pilot matt pilot Says: May 1st, 2008 at 3:21 pm  how the fuck does someone decide if a monkey is special needs or not. can it not throw its shit as well as the other monkeys? also who would take time out of their day to attend a birthday party for an animal with brain damage. like the monkey has any idea what the fuck is going on anyway. now, if they included a battle to the death between the challenged primate and the dumbass who spent 3 weeks planning it, i would be all about it. New contest starts right this very second.

By:|May 1, 2008


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By:|May 1, 2008